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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Altaf bhai ki maa ki .....

Altaf bhai ke area mein chudai ho rahe thee
Jat Altaf bhai ko pata chala tau ladke ko Altaf bhai ke paas laya gaya.
Altaf: Ye apun ka area hai, yeh jaante hue bhi tune chdai kee?
Boy: Sorry galti ho gayi.
Altaf: Accha ye sab kaise hua?
Boy: Usne apun ko ishare se upar bulaya. Apun gaya to usne ghar ka gate band kara.
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Woh boli,Oye chikne meri pyas bujha de!
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Apun ne socha ki Altaf bhai ka area hai lafda nahi karne ka.
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Apun bola 1-2 kiss karega, suck bhi karega, lekin fuck nahi, akhir Altaf bhai ka
area hai.
Altaf: Fir?
Boy: Usne meri pant utar di fir apne kapde utarne lagi.
Altaf: (being excited) Fir?
Boy: Usne apni jeans & top utar di aur fir bra & panty bhi,apun to mast ho gaya,
lekin socha ki altaf bhai ka area hai.
Altaf: (fully excitd) Fir?
Boy: Apun ne uske lips pe kiss kiya & boobs suck karne laga but dimag mein tha ki
altaf bhai ka area hai..
Altaf (out of control): Fir?
Boy: Apun aage badhne wala tha lekin socha ki Altaf bhai ka area.
Altaf: Abe Altaf bhai ki maa ki chut....
Boy: Bhai.. Mein bhi yahi socha aur dal diya...:)

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Jiju saali

Saali-
Mini Skirt Pahen k Boli.
"Jiju dekho to, Jhukne se meri chaddi to Nahi Dikhti?'
jiju Kaafi der tak dekhne k baad-
'Nahi dikhi,par yaad se Pahen lena๐Ÿ˜

Poem

. Automobile Engineer's wife delivered a baby.
Wife sends SMS to husband
"our New Vehicle is launched."
Husband' SMS 2 wife:
"With Gear or Without Gear" ๐Ÿ˜


-//---/
Message - ADULT POEM
 Niple Niple little star
 can i fuck u in my car
 up abv ur breast so high
 alwz milky nvr dry
 let me pres it dnt feel shy
 open ur bra let me fuck you high


-//----
Girl:- mei hu ladki jheel ki,
chut meri steel ki,
chod sake na hathi ghode,
tu kya chodega maa ke loude... 

Boy:-naam hai mera pappan pillo,
lund ka weight chappan kilo,
jamin par maru toh kuva khod jaye...
tu to kya teri ma bhi chud jaye..๐Ÿ˜‚

Friday, June 28, 2013

Loyalty Test

๐Ÿ‘
...

Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour for hubby..๐Ÿ”ป

Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people❓๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

Total silence...๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ท

TEST 2
A couple sees a hot girl.. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ
Wife: So big, aren't they? ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ
Husband: Yes ๐Ÿ‘€
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural. ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž
Wife: Ear-rings & Natural?? ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•
.
Total Silence ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Multibagger

Thailand has d highest no. of prostitutes..๐Ÿ‘ธ
what else can u expect when a country"s name is THIGH LAND, 
capital is BANG COCK 
&
tourist spot is called 
FUK ET!!  ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Gay with heavy makeup standing on the roadside in late evng.
A man stops his car & asked : R U a Prostitute?
Gay chewing his lips: Na re.. "Substitute"๐Ÿ˜ฒ
At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. ร‚ Sister
Catherine, the teacher,
asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

The first pupil said: 'Tylenol?'
'Very good! And what is it used for?'
'It is used for a headache.'

The second pupil said: 'Nytol.'
'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine. 'And what it is used for?'
'To help you sleep', replied the student.

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.'
'And what is it used for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister catherine.
'It is used for diarrhoea.'

'And who told you this, Johnny?'

'Nobody,
but most evenings my mother tells my father
"Take a viagra, and maybe that shit will get harder.''

Sister Catherine fainted. Class Dismissed.
Lady: Excuse me, why this Tiny Handbag ๐Ÿ‘œCosts so much? Shopkeeper: Its made of Penis skin.
Lady: "Woow" 
She Slowly Touches the Bag, 
it turned into a Suitcase.
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: khane main kya banau?๐Ÿด
Huband๐Ÿ‘จ: kuch bhi bana lo..kya banaogi?๐Ÿด
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: jo aap kaho
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: dal chawal bana lo๐Ÿฒ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: subah hi toh khaye the
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: toh roti sabzi bana lo๐Ÿต
 Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: bachche nahi khayenge
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: toh chhole puri bana lo๐Ÿฑ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: mujhe fried cheezon se heavy lagta hai
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: egg bhurji bana lo๐Ÿณ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: aaj thursday hai
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: paranthe? Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: raat ko paranthe nahi khana chahiye๐Ÿ˜
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: hotel se mangwa lete hain๐Ÿฑ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: roz roz bahar ka nahi khana chahiye
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: kadhi chawal?๐Ÿš
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: dahi nahi hai
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: idly sambhar? ๐Ÿ›
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: time lagega...pehle bolna tha na!!๐Ÿ˜ก
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: ek kaam karo maggi bana lo๐Ÿ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: pet nahi bharta maggi se๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: pasta?๐Ÿฒ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: loose motions ho ge to??
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: bhindi bhujia n roti๐Ÿ˜ณ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: bhindi kaatne me ✂tym lgta h๐Ÿ˜ฅ
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: fruit salad ๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ๐ŸŠhi kha lete h๐Ÿ˜–,
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: raat me fir se bhukh lg gi to??
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ: baked veg...???๐Ÿ˜ถ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: microwave kharab
 pada h...
Husband๐Ÿ‘จ:khichdi hi bana do"!"!!๐Ÿ˜ฐ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: cooker dhula ni h.
Husband: toh phir kya banaogi?๐Ÿ˜ฏ
Wife๐Ÿ‘ฉ: jo aap bolo๐Ÿ˜


--/----
One of the best jokes to come along and it's not even political!

As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change
to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on
towards the Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
 
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is so atrocious that both the passengers in the carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but, the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen politely turns to President Obama: "Mr President, please, accept my regrets...I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," responded:
"Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought...Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

Moral of the story: "Silence is Golden"๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜› ©


-----111
Police ne 2 ladkon aur ek ladki ko park mein pakda. Police: Tumhara naam kya hai ?aur Park mein kya kar rahe they ?? 1st boy: Mera naam Kishan hai aur mai baansuri baja raha tha. Police: Achha tum jao. Tumhara naam kya hai.......?? 2nd boy: Mera naam Kanhaiya hai aur mai baansuri baja raha tha. Police: Achha tum bhi jao. Police to girl: Aur tum bhi baansuri baja rahi hogi. Girl: Nahin Sir, mera hi naam Baansuri hai !

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

๐Ÿ˜„*MARWARI COLLECTION*

๐Ÿ˜„*MARWARI COLLECTION*

1. Marwari: Yeh banana kaise diya? 
Shopkeeper: 1Rs. 
Marwari : 60 Paisa ka deta hai? 
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chhilka milega. 
Marwari: Le 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de. 


2. Marwari on his deathbed. 
My wife, where r u ? 
Wife: Yes, I'm here 
My sons daughters r u all here? 
Yes, Papa 
Marwari: To phir bahar wale kamre 
ka pankha kyun chal raha hai ??? 


3. Marwari 14th floor se neeche gira 
Girte waqt usne 
apne ghar ki khidki me 
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha 
to chilla ke bola: 
MERI ROTI NAHIN PAKANA! 


4. Marwari ne Sheikh ko khoon de ke uski jaan bachai. 
Sheikh ne use MERCEDES gift kar di. 
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zaroorat padi, 
Marwari ne phir khoon diya. 
Ab ki baar Sheikh ne till wale laddu gift kiye, 
Marwari : (Gusse se): Mercedes kyun nahin di? 
Sheikh: Munna!!! Ab hamare andar bhi Marwari ka khoon daud raha hai:) 


5. Marwari  called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha mar gaya hai, 
obituary ke kya 
charges honge? 
Newspaper: Rs.50 per word. 
Marwari : Oh bahut zyaada hain, Achha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye" 
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words! 
Marwari : Oh ho! Zara sochne do..... Achha likho....... ......... . 
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .. 


6. Marwari asks a Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya? 
Taxi Driver: Haan ji jaoonga. 
Marwari ne jeb se lunchbox nikala or kaha: 
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana. 


7. Marwari ko bhoot chadh gaya , 
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha ke paas gaya aur bola, 
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar nikalo..! Warna main to bhookha hi mar jaoonga 


8. Titanic Ke Saath Marwari Bhi Doob Raha Tha 
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha 
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai? 
Marwari: Shukar Hai Maine Return Ticket Nahin Khareeda...๐Ÿ˜‹

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Rahul Gandhi aur paagal

.
EK Bar Rahul Gandhi Pagal Khane ke Daure par tha....
Ek Pagal Bola: "Rahul Sahib Ek Cigarette aur Maachis dena.... "
Rahul ne cigarette di aur Dr. se bola: "doctor, ye aadmi to achhe se baat karraha hai.. kahin se pagal nahi lag rahahai.."

Pagal ne Cigarette Tod ke Tobacco ApneSir par dalaaur Machis se Aag laga di... Phir Apni Dhoti Utha ke bola..... 

Lo Rahul Sahib, Hukkaaa Piyoooo Hukkaaaa..

Monday, June 24, 2013

Mayawati raped

Mayawati ka rape ho gaya.

Haso mat.. Joke aage hai
..๐Ÿ˜›
Manmohan asks Doctor: Uski tabiyat kaisi hai.

Dr: Hum Oxygen mask laga kr unke chehre ki khushi ko chupane ki koshish kr rahe hai...๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ


 

Vijay Mallya

Vijay Mallya dies.:
His PA calls heaven 2 find out if he's reached. A lady picks up
phone: Hello, this is Virgin Mary speakin.
PA disconnects & calls again after 1 hr: Hello, this is Mary
speaking.
PA sighs: Thank God, Boss has REACHED!!!


-//--//--
Teacher : 'Aisi kaun si cheej hai, jise tum roj dekh sakte ho par chhu nahin Sakte..?'
Student : 'Rahne do Madam Aap naraj ho jayengi..

Nasbandi

Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne gaon me dekh kar ek budha bola, "In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha,ab kya HANDSET bhi le jayenge?

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Paani

Good morning friends
Punjabi by Nature. 

Graahak Ne Hotel k Punjabi Manager Se Complaint Ki,
"Kitni gandi service hai, Mujhe 1 ghnte se pani tak nahin mila."
Punjabi Manager Ne Uske Samne He Waiter Ko Bulaya Aur Kaha-
"Saab ik Ghnte To Kutte Vaangu Bhonk Rahe Ne, 
Je Tuhada Ehi Haal Reha Ta Dubara Kehra Kanjar Saade Hotal Ch Guu khan aavega...
Paaani le ke aaa....=))


-///-----
Santa apni biwi k office gayato usne dekha k uski biwi boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Bee

What would you call the Knee of a Bee?

Make the Wildest Guess.. 
.
.
.
.
Beat this if you can.
*
.
*

It's called "Bi Ki Ni"
(Pls No Clapping-standing ovation)

Piya ghar aye

Jab piya ghar aaye,
khaat bichaya aangan me, lab chuse estan dabaye, or ling ghusaya jaangan me,
wo sisak-sisak kar ropadi jab 
''girdhar barse aangan me


--////---
New Joke - A girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji 
Girl: sardar ji mein tuwadi nakal mar laa?.. 
Sardar: ahoo to meri nakel maar lay fair mein teri asal mar lawa ga... 

Friday, June 21, 2013

A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbor knocking on his door one Friday evening.
.
"I'm so horny that I can't stand it." she said. 
"I want to go out, get drunk & get laid. Are you free tonight?"
.
"Yes!" he replied enthusiastically.
.
"Wonderful." she said. "Would you watch my kids?๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†
Best of PJsSanta: Name different type of cheese..

Banta: White, Cottage, bekhudi, mozarella...

Santa: Wait a min... what is bekhudi...







Banta: hoshwalon ko khabar kya, bekhudi kya cheese hai....๐Ÿ˜œ
Hilarious Apology Letter.....

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing... 

Deer sur,
       If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker.

This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun.I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun.

Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life. I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint first. I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement. May God blast you!"

 
Yours awfully,
RAMKHILAWAN


---//////

Champion Trophy update :

Pehle goro ko haraya(SA),
fir kalo ko (WI),
fir haram khoro ko(ye likhne ki zaroorat nahi he) 
abhi Sita ke choro ko (SL) 
ab to sale india ke looteronki bari hai (eng)


Thursday, June 20, 2013

Poor lion

Banta: if a lion attacks ur mother in law n ur wife, whom would u save?
Santa: The lion, of course!

Mad Bull Sex

This is something make you laugh for couple of days 
๐Ÿ‘ตSardar ka beta๐Ÿ‘ถ 3rd std me fail hua, 
๐ŸคSchool ne usko 2nd std me bheja, 
2nd me fail hua, to usse 1st std me bheja.....
Sardar apne biwi se bola: Apni Tange khuli rakhna, ye Chutya wapas aa raha hai... ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜ฑ
๐Ÿ˜‚

--//
"MAD-BULL" Sex"
Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called MAD-BULL ?
His friend says no, what is it?
Well you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts with both hands.
Then say, "Boy, these boobs are almost as nice as your sister's boobs".
Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds...  !!!!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

guy goes hunting. A gust of wind blew. The gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot." "What's the bad news?" asked the hunter. "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister." "Well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."
Some one asked Similarity between Woman & Alcohol?
Shakespear replied-
They both have amazing qualities of giving pleasure at night & headache in the morning.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Funny

U can't ask a  girl's age..they don't have age..they have age groups ' baby' 'babes' ' bebe' n 'biji' ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

--//:--
SantaBanta Joke Funny Questions and Answers

What is the opposite of 'Dominos' ?
Think...
Tired?
"Domi doesn't know"

One more!
What is the opposite of 'Pizza Hut' ?
Tired again?
Pizza hatna mat"
Ok, another one!

What is the opposite of 'Gopalakrishnan' ?
Keep thinking...
It's 'Come-Palakrishnan'

Stop banging your head! Last one...
What is the opposite of "Subramanium Sawmi" ?
Gave up?
Subramanium didn't see me!

Ok, ok, last one promise...
What is the opposite of Jogeshwari ?
Jogesh don't worry.

Pyara bacha

Wife Husband ka LUND Chum ke boli-
Mere Laal
Mera Sona
Mera babu
Mera Bachcha
aur bada ho Ja na

Hsbnd-gusse mein Bhenchod isko Chut me Dalna hai ya School me?

Monday, June 17, 2013

Aggarwal sweets

Ek ladki ki shadi santa se tay ho gayi. Lekin uska already banta se affair chal raha tha.
Banta: tujhe santa se shadi karni hai to kar le koi problem nahi hai. Bas ek baar mere se chudwa le. Bohot kharcha ho gaya hai tujhe ghumaane me.
Ladki maan gayi aur chudayi ka din aur time decide ho gaya. Chudayi se just pehle banta ko yaad aaya k condom to ghar pe hi bhool gaya. Usne ladki ko plastic ki theli laga k chod diya. Chodne k baad pata chala k theli ladki ki choot me hi reh gayi.
Finally ladki ki shadi hui. Suhagraat par jaise hi santa ne apna lund andar daala, waha se aawaaz aayi, “PHACH PHACH PHACH”. Santa ne confuse ho kar ladki ki taraf dekha. Ladki ne socha is ko sach bataya to ma chod dega. Badi himmat kar ke ladki ne us se baat ki.
Ladki boli: dekhte kya ho ji… tumhe nahi pata, pehli baar chodte waqt aisi aawaaz aati hai. Thoda zor se daalo to nahi aayegi.
Santa ne is baar poora dum laga k apna lund daala to theli bahar aa gayi. Ladki ki gaand fat k haath me aa gayi. Fir bhi badi himmat kar ke wo boli: dekhte kya ho ji… tumhe nahi pata, pahli baar chodte waqt aisi jhilli fat ke bahar aati hai.
Santa ne theli ko dekha aur fir ladki ki taraf dekha.
Ladki: mera vishwaas karo ji. Main sach keh rahi hu aisa hota hai… aap kya soch rahe ho???
Santa: wo sab to theek hai…. Main ye soch raha hu…………. is par “AGARWAL SWEETS kyu likha hua hai??????
Sexy poem ๐Ÿ‘™

๐Ÿ‘จ - Mohini aao khelenge. 

๐Ÿ‘ฉ - Nahi Aap humko pelenge.

๐Ÿ‘จ - Yehi to pyar ki kasauti hai

๐Ÿ‘ฉ - Nahi,Meri chut bahut chhoti hai

๐Ÿ‘จ - Dekh Tere liye is dil me kitna pyar bhara hai

๐Ÿ‘ฉ - Nahi Mujhe pata hai Aapka Bahut der se khada hai

๐Ÿ‘จ - Dekh Ye tera husn aur nikhaar dega.

๐Ÿ‘ฉ - Ji nahi Ye meri chut+gand dono phad dega..
....../ / /'''''\\
      / / / ⌣ ⌣|\
      \_/    .. /  
    _'  `-.   /          / /''''\\
   /       \|           / / _  _|\
  /          \         /  /)  _' |\. 
 ;            |      _/-')\   - /' \ 
 |     |      | _.-'      ` -'(  |
 `    `\   •/      _,       )/  \
  `\     \     \   \-'.     .   .  \ 
  :  \     |   |\   \ |     \   \  \
  `. `\    \ /  \   ;'     •)  •) \
   |    \.  `"-._\  \`.__.'__.'  \
   |      "-.__   \  \     /      \  \
   )         / ,\_./'  \  /         \  \ 
  .'         | .'   <//::\           \ `,__
 /         #'|    </ ||\             |/--\\\
|        \#.-\      `' \
|         )_.-`\        \
|         |(    `\       |
 \        | |    | \      \
  \       | '    |   \      \
๐Ÿ’ชMen will be Men:๐Ÿ’ช

Nipple Mila. Chusna Shuru, ๐Ÿผ
DEWAAR Mili. Mutna Shuru,๐Ÿšถ
Zuban Fisli.. Maa-Behan Shuru,๐Ÿ‘บ
Gaand Mili. Ungli shuru, ☝
Fokat Ki Mili. Pina Shuru...๐Ÿบ 
Lund haath aaya. Hilana shuru.. ✊
Char dost mile. Gandmasti shururu . Ladki mili.Chudai ki planning shuru... Aisa msg mila.Fwrd karna shuru.. :๐Ÿ˜œ.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Bhopali NAWAB Ne Naukar Ki Gand Maar Di.

NAUKAR- Maine Kya Galti Ki Saab? 

NAWAB- Bhosdike teri Galti K Liye Hum Kab Tak Intezar Karenge?


--//
Son was looking at falling stars and praying 4 gud marks.
Father came along and said "Technology is so advanced that man has reached the moon and ur searching 4 ur luck in stars?" 
Son replied "Dad, don't be ridiculous u know babies can be made in test tubes but have u stopped trying the old way?" ๐Ÿ˜‚

---/
During sex, sexy GF Tells BF That She Wants To Do "69″

But The Boyfriend Doesn't Have Any Idea About What Is 69.

She Asks Him To Lay Down. And She Then Lays On Top Of Him In Reverse Direction So As In 69.

The Boyfriend Is Confused But Is Eager To Know About 69. So He Does As The GF Tells Him To Do.

They Lay Down In This Position For About 2 Min.

But Suddenly The GF Has To Let Go One Fart. Directly On Her BF's Face.

GF Quickly Apologizes And Asks Him To Stay In That Position For Some More Time.

After One Min She Has To Let Go One Another Fart.. This Time Bigger Than The Previous.

The BF Quickly Throws Her Away, Gets Up, Starts Dressing Up And Yells At Her..

"If You Think I Am Gonna Take 67 More Like This, You Are Mad" >:/ :& =)) =))
Loyalty Test

Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour 4 hubby..๐Ÿ”ป

Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.

Wife- Which people❓๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก


Total silence...๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ท



--///--
LOVE is.....
When your wife catches you naked with another woman & tells you - "Dress up baby, Let's go home". 

DEATH is....
when you happily follow
her home believing it's Love...


--//------
Man to Doctor: Every night my wife goes to a pub and sleeps with anyone who proposes to her! 
Dr.: Relax, take a deep breath, calm down & now tell me..
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WHICH PUB?๐Ÿ˜‰

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Bhopali NAWAB Ne Naukar Ki Gand Maar Di.

NAUKAR- Maine Kya Galti Ki Saab? 

NAWAB- Bhosdike teri Galti K Liye Hum Kab Tak Intezar Karenge?
Son was looking at falling stars and praying 4 gud marks.
Father came along and said "Technology is so advanced that man has reached the moon and ur searching 4 ur luck in stars?" 
Son replied "Dad, don't be ridiculous u know babies can be made in test tubes but have u stopped trying the old way?" ๐Ÿ˜‚
During sex, sexy GF Tells BF That She Wants To Do "69″

But The Boyfriend Doesn't Have Any Idea About What Is 69.

She Asks Him To Lay Down. And She Then Lays On Top Of Him In Reverse Direction So As In 69.

The Boyfriend Is Confused But Is Eager To Know About 69. So He Does As The GF Tells Him To Do.

They Lay Down In This Position For About 2 Min.

But Suddenly The GF Has To Let Go One Fart. Directly On Her BF's Face.

GF Quickly Apologizes And Asks Him To Stay In That Position For Some More Time.

After One Min She Has To Let Go One Another Fart.. This Time Bigger Than The Previous.

The BF Quickly Throws Her Away, Gets Up, Starts Dressing Up And Yells At Her..

"If You Think I Am Gonna Take 67 More Like This, You Are Mad" >:/ :& =)) =))

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Pj's

Bakwaas.....but gud rvision of bachpan ke jokes

Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?
.
Think Think....
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Its because....
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.
.
.

Monday is a Weak Day....

____________ _________ _________ _______

Q: Which is the safest way to see a shark?
.
.
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.
.
.

Ans: On Television.. ..
____________ _________ _________ _______

Q: What would Baby Corn say To Mom Corn?
.
.
.
.
Guess plz....
.
.
He'll ask: 
.
"Where is Pop Corn?"
____________ _________ _________ _______

Q: What is the full form of CNBC ???
.
.
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It means....
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.
Cartoon Network for Business Community !!
___________ _________ _________ _______

Q) What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant?
.
.
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A: Wear a T-SHIRT.
___________ _________ _________ _______ 

Q) What is it that RAVAN can do but RAM cant?
.
.
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A: Group discussion when he is alone.
___________ _________ _________ _______
Q: Why did Ram Gopal Varma made 'Phoonk'?
.
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ANS:
Uski Picchli 'AAG' ko bujhaane ke liye....
___________ _________ _________ _______

Q: What do u call a 800 year old Hanuman Temple ???
.
.
.
.
Guess???
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.
.

MARUTI 800!!!
____________ _________ _________ _______
Q: Agar Bengali ka phone kat jaaye, to woh kya kahega?
.
.
.
Socho....
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.
.

Kol-Kata.... .
___________ _________ _________ _______
Bear this PJ !!

Q: What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer 'Tikka' Masala??
.
.
.
.


Simple!

The Latter is Vaccinated.. .!!
____________ _________ _________ _______
Q: Why does the BAA of "Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu thi" never die?
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.
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.

Coz God Never Dies....

Confused?

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BAA 'KHUDA' TUMHI HO!
____________ _________ _________ _______
UNBEATABLE PJ:
Q: According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??
.
.
.
.

ANS:
HOLI.
How?


Coz....

He Keeps Saying...

"Holi CUB hai,

CUB hai Holi...."

๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ก

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Bolo Tara ra ra

Two seater helicopter Punjab ke gaon me gira. Gaon ke sare Sardar rahat kaarya me jut gaye aur 600 dead bodies bahar nikaal laye. 
Sala samjh nahi aay aisa konsa helicop tha jisme 600 log sawar they
Baad me pata chala Helicopter Qabristan me gira tha.
 Bolo tara ra ra

Multibagger

Hakla Customer Amul Macho Underwear Lene Gaya.


 Dukandar asked - Kya Doon? 


Customer - A..A.. Amul ki MA...

MAA... MAA CHO ..DO


--///-------/-//-------///-----
banta ne 1 Jawaan dubti lady ko pani se bahr nikala jo chilla rhi thi k bachao me pregnant' hu.

Aur

Santa muh se muh mila kr use sans dene lga.

banta: uski panty utar kr neeche  muh rakh kr foonk marne lga.

Santa: yeh k kya kr rha h?

Banta: tu maa ki jaan bacha,main bachche ki jaan bacha rha hu.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Wife: I should have married the devil. Even he would make a better husband than you.
Husband: But honey, marriage between relatives is illegal..

---///----/
Latest doing the rounds: 

M. S. Dhoni's Full Name is ....

Meyappan Srinivasan Dhoni

Sunday, June 9, 2013

THIS ONE IS..AWWSMM.. I can BET..ladies are gonna LUVVV this one !!


A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burnt.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too
skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor
felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The Doctor and wife promised to the man  that they would tell no one about where the skin came from.

After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby
face!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need
every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the Third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their Situation. 

After a long period of silence,the Priest spoke. 'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.

''I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..' 

'I agree,' says the Father. 

'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it Out of here alive, would you do something for me?

''Anything, Father.

''I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see Yours

''Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'

 The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her Shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 

'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'.......she consented and he Fondled them for several minutes

.'Father, could I ask something of you?

''Yes, Sister?

''I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?

''I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe. 

'Oh Father, may I touch it?' 

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was Sporting a huge erection.

'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can Give Life

.''Is that true Father?' 

'Yes, it is, Sister.''Oh Father, that's wonderful

 ... then Stick it in the camel and let's getThe hell out of here!'

Sher ka pinjara

Jama Maszid ke Bazar ek aadmi aawaz laga raha tha,

"Sher ka pinjra"
10 rupay mein!

"Sher ka pinjra"
10 rupay mein!

Ek aurat ne paas ja kar dekha, phir waapis aa gai.


Dosri ne pucha kya hua?
Pehli wali kehne lagi:
Kameena "KACHHEY" bech rha hai. ๐Ÿ˜œ

The Mayor And The Priest.


There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen". This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about. Your wife fell FOUR TIMES this week."

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Question

Little student : Madam. Wen I grew up. How will my wife have a baby ??
Madam : An Angel will come frm hvn & handover a baby 2 ur wife ☺
Lill Boy : So who do I need 2 FUCK ?? Wife or Angel ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜€