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Saturday, August 31, 2013

Sardar

๐ŸŽฒA couple went to a wish well.
Santa bent down, threw a coin & made a wish.

Wife bent down a little more and fell into the well.
Santa shouted,
"O Teri..
It works!



-///---
Sardar ke bete ne kaha: "Papaji meri girl friend pregnant ho gayi hai, 50,000 maang rahi hai chup rehneke"
Sardar ne khamoshi se paise de diye.
Do mahine baad doosra beta bola: "Meri girl friend pregnant hai, 75,000 maang rahi hai"
Sardar ne khamoshi de diye.
6 mahine baad Sardar ki kuwari beti boli: "Daddy, I am pregnant"
Sardar ne usko gale se lagaya aur maatha choom ke kaha: "Waheguruji ki meher, ab paise lene ki baari hamaari hai !bolo tararara...๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Genie

Tom and his hot ๐Ÿ’wife were playing golf ⛳when the ball suddenly goes inside someone's house :

They enter the house and see a broken bottle and a man.

Man: I want to thank you. I am a genie who was trapped for 1000 years in the bottle. I will give you both 1 wish each, and I will keep 1 wish for myself. ๐Ÿ‘บ

Tom: I want a billion dollars!  ๐Ÿ’ฐ

Wife: I want a house in every country of the world. ��

Genie: Done. Done.

Tom : And what is your wish genie?

Genie: Well, since I haven't loved a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.๐Ÿ’

Tom said: Emm  Ok! You're getting us a lot of money. I guess I don't mind. ��

The genie took the wife upstairs and slept with her for two hours. ♋

After it was over he asked her: How old is your husband? ๐Ÿ˜’

Wife answers: 35. 

Genie: Really? And he still believes in genie stories... !!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚?๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Exam

New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”

Monday, August 26, 2013

Shayari Kills

Here some ๐Ÿ”จ...
Killer shayaris.......๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Using ur brain ๐Ÿ’‚is strictly & very strictly prohibited..
X
1) Na jaan Na pehchaan,
Tu mera mehmaan,
And the award goes to A.R.Rehman ๐ŸŽผ..

2) Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, Rubber de Rubber๐Ÿ“Š..

3) Teri adao pe mein waari waari,
Dial 139 for railway ๐Ÿš‹๐Ÿš‹ enquiry..

4) Na jine ki aarzu na marne ka khauf,
The number you are trying is currently switched off ๐Ÿ“ฑ..

5) Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo,
Naya godrej powder hair dye,
Bas kaato gholo aur laga lo..

6) Yuh khamosh reh kar tadpogi kabtak,
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK ๐Ÿ“บ..

7) Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo,
Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne  kharche par kabooo,
Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh Babu...

8) Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,
Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,
LIFEBUOY hai jahan Tandurusti hai wahan...

9) Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,
BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat nachna ❌๐Ÿ’ƒ....

10) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ๐Ÿ“ก..!!

11) Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,
Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,
Asali Masale Sach Sach
MDH.....MDH ...!!

12) 1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke ko gaal pe kiss,
1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke ko gaal pe kiss,
Mutual funds are subjected to market risks..

13) Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,
Didi Tera Devar Deewana..

14) ๐Ÿ’ƒNaach Bulbul Naach๐Ÿ’ƒ, tujhe paisa milega
Hum CID se hai, Koi apne jagah se nahi hilega...!!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Gift

This is perhaps the most profound observation I have heard in recent times.....

'Life is like a penis - Simple, relaxed and hanging free.... 

Its women who make it hard ๐Ÿ˜

////---/--///
A French man, an English man and an Arab were being interviewed by a reporter with regard to what they bought their wives for Valentine's Day.

French man - I bot ma wife un ring and a pair of gleuve, so if che don like ze ring che can coveur eet with ze gleuve.

Englishman - I bought my wife a beautiful diamond brooch and a scarf, so that if she should happen to dislike the brooch she may cover it with the scarf.

Arab - Wallah ya habibi! I boaght my wife za Ferrari and za vibratore.
 
The reporter is stunned and asks why a Vibrator?? 
  
The Arab replies, Wallah ya habibi! If she not like za Farrari she can go fouk herself !!! ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Punch

Punch Of D Day ....๐Ÿ‘Š✨

Once A Man Asked God: 
"Why All Girls Friends  Are So Beautiful  & Sweet,๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜‡ 

And All Wifes Are Always Angry๐Ÿ˜ก ๐Ÿ˜ˆ & Bitter••• 


God Answered: Girls Freinds Are Made By Me ... And  Wifes By You...!!! SO Its Your Problem ... !!! ๐Ÿ˜‰




---//::------/
เคœंเค—เคฒ เคฎें เคเค• เค—เคงे เค•ा เคฒेเคจे เค•ा เคฎเคจ เค•เคฐเคคा เคนै। เคตो เค—เคงी เค•े เคชाเคธ เคœाเคคा เคนै। เค—เคงी เคฎเคจा เค•เคฐ เคฆेเคคी เคนै เคฏे เค•เคน เค•เคฐ เค•े เคคेเคฐा เคฌोเคนोเคค เคฌเฅœा เคนै เคฆเคฐ्เคฆ เคนोเคคी เคนै เค—เคงा เคฌोเคนोเคค เคฐिเค•्เคตेเคธ्เคŸ เค•เคฐเคคा เคนै । เค—เคงी เคฎाเคจ เคœाเคคी เคนै เคฏे เค•เคน เค•เคฐ เค•े เค—ाเคฐंเคŸी เคฒे เค† เค•े เคฎुเคे เคฆเคฐ्เคฆ เคจเคนीं เคนोเค—ा । เค—เคงा เค—ाเคฐंเคŸी เค•े เคฒिเค เคœंเค—เคฒ เคฎें เคœाเคคा เคนै เคฒेเค•िเคจ เค•ोเคˆ เคœाเคจเคตเคฐ เค‰เคธเค•ी เค—ाเคฐंเคŸी เคฆेเคจे เค•ो เคคเคฏाเคฐ เคจเคนीं เคนोเคคा । เค†เค–िเคฐ เคเค• เคฎेंเคกเค• เค•ो เคฐเคนเคฎ เค† เคœाเคคा เคนै เคตो เคคเคฏाเคฐ เคนो เคœाเคคा เคนै
เคฎेंเคกเค• เค—เคงे เคธे เค•เคนเคคा เคนै เคฎें เคคेเคฐे เคฒंเคก เคชे เคจिเคถाเคจ เคฒเค—ा เคฆूंเค—ा เค‰เคธเคธे เค†เค—े เคจเคนीं เคœाเคจा เคšाเคนिเค เคœเคฌ เคญी เคจिเคถाเคจ เคธे เค†เค—े เคœाเคเค—ा เคฎें เคธिเคŸी เคฌเคœा เคฆूंเค—ा เคคू เคฌाเคนเคฐ เคจीเค•ाเคฒ เคฒिเค“ । เค—เคงा เคคเคฏाเคฐ เคนो เคœाเคคा เคนै เคฆोเคจों เค—เคงी เค•े เคชाเคธ เคœाเคคे เคนै ।
เค—เคงा เคธेเค•्เคธ เค•เคฐเคจा เคถुเคฐू เค•เคฐ เคฆेเคคा เคนै । เคœเคฌ เคญी เค—เคงे เค•ा เคฒเคจ เคจिเคถाเคจ เคธे เคœเคฏाเคฆा เค…เคจ्เคฆเคฐ เคœाเคคा เคนै เคฎंเคกेเค• เคธिเคŸी เคฌเคœा เคฆेเคคा เคนै เค—เคงा เคตाเคชिเคธ เคฌाเคนเคฐ เคจिเค•ाเคฒ เคฒेเคคा เคนै ।
เคœैเคธे เคœैเคธे เคธเคฎเคฏ เคฌीเคคเคคा เคนै เค—เคงे เค•ा เคฌाเคฐ เคฌाเคฐ เคจिเคถाเคจ เคธे เค…เคจ्เคฆเคฐ เคœाเคจे เคฒเค—เคคा เคนै เคคो เคฎंเคกेเค• เค–ुเคฆ เคนी เค‰เคธเค•े เคฒเคจ เคชเคฐ เคฒเค—े เคนुเค เคจिเคถाเคจ เคชเคฐ เคšเฅ เค•เคฐ เคฌेเค  เคœाเคคा เคนै ।
เค—เคงे เค•ा เคœเคฌ เคซाเค‡เคจเคฒ เคถॉเคŸ เคฒเค—เคคा เคนै เคคो เคฎेंเคกเค• เคนी เค—เคงी เค•ी เค—ांเคก เคฎें เค˜ुเคธ เคœाเคคा เคนै ।
เคฏे เคธเคฌ เคเค• เคชेเฅœ เคชเคฐ เคฌेเค ा เคฌเคจ्เคฆเคฐ เคฆेเค– เคฐเคนा เคนोเคคा เคนै । เคตो เคœोเคฐ เคธे เคคाเคฒी เคฌเคœा เค•เคฐ เคฌोเคฒเคคा เคนै ।
เค—เคˆ เค—ाเคฐंเคŸी เค—ांเคก เคฎें । เค—เคˆ เค—ाเคฐंเคŸी เค—ांเคก เคฎें ।
เค†เคช เคจे เค‡เคธ เค•เคนाเคจी เคธे เค•्เคฏा เคธीเค–ा
เค•เคญी เค•िเคธी เค•ी เค—ाเคฐंเคŸी เคจเคนीं เคฒेเคจी เคšाเคนिเค เคจเคนीं เคคो เค—ांเคก เคฎें เค˜ूเคธเคจे เค•ी เคจोเคฌเคค เค† เคธเค•เคคी เคนै ।

Chaar Dhar

If a tiger attacks ur mother-in-law and ur wife at the same time, whom would u save? .........

SANTA : Ofcourse, 
The tiger.. very few are left..!!!!

-/------///

Ek Bar Ek Ladki Badi Pareshan Si Doctor Ke Pass Gayi
Doctor Ne Uski Pareshani Puchhi To Ladki Boli: “Doctor Saab Jab Mein Su-Su Karti Hoon To 4 Dhar Nikalti Hain.”
After Checkup The Girl Doctor Said: “Kudiye 4 Dhaar To Niklengi Hi, Andar Kisi Ki Pant Ka Button Fassa Hua Hai“

Friday, August 23, 2013

Multibagger

Mรคn went tรถ a woman's underwear company for a job..

The Manager says, "If u can answer these 3 questions right, the job is yours.
We pack our panties in 7-packs, 5-packs & 12-packs, Why ? 
Man thinks for moment & replies, 7-packs r for Indian women: one for each day of the week. 
5-packs r for American women: one each for Mon to Fri, & they don't wear panties on weekends.
12-packs r for Pakistani women: one each, for Jan to Dec...!.
-//--////
He got the Job..:)๐Ÿ˜.
Maa beti se: Beti doodh ka glass pee lo

Beti:No mama
mujhe nai peena. 

Maa: Beti agar doodh nahi
piyogi to badi kaise hogi? 

Beti: maa apko bhi toh doodh pasand nahi,
phir bhi aap badi ho gai hain
Main bhi nahi piyungi
to badi ho jaungi. 

Maa: Achi bachiyan zid nahi
karti,
Agar meri achi beti ho
to doodh pee lo
warna mei tum se khafa
ho jaungi. 

Beti: OK mama,.
aap kehti hain toh mein doodh pee leti hoon . . 

Aur is tarah us ki beti ne doodh pee liya..


Msg end tak kitnay gaur se padha hai
ki kab non veg  start hoga..
bus karo darindo ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 
Shravan chal rahe hain..๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

/-//--/--///
Ek Minister Ki Biwi Bahut Hi
Sunder Aur Sexy Thi.

Ek Din Minister Ka Najane Kya Mood Bana Or Usne Patni
Ko Bulaya Aur Puchha.

Minister: Sach Sach Batao
Tumne
Hamare Sath Kitni Baar
Bewafayi
Ki Hai?

Patni Kuch Soch Ke Boli: Ji, Sirf 3 Baar.

Minister Man Hi Man Mein Khush Hua Ki Chalo Itni Sexy Hone Ke Baad Bhi Sirf 3 Baar Hi Bewafayi Ki,
Fir Bhi Usne Pucha.

Minister: Kab Kab?

Patni: Ek Bar Jab Aapke Dil Ka
Operation Hua Tha To Main Shehar Ke Sabse Bade Dr. Ko
Manane Gayi Thhi.

Minister: Hmm.

Patni: Agli Bar Jab Aap Jail Mein
Band The Aur Rihayi Ke Koi Chances Na The To Judge Ke Pass Gayi thi.

Minister: Aur Teesri Bar? 

Patni Sharmate Hue:Jab Aapko Sarkar Banani Thi Aur
Aapke Pas 76 MLAs Kam the...;)

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Sardy Army

George Bush was sitting in
his office wondering whom
to invade next when his
telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily
accented voice said, 'This is
Gurmukh from Phagwara,
District Kapurthala,
Punjab .. I am ringing to
inform you that we are
officially declaring the war
on you!'


'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush
replied, 'This is indeed
important news! How big is
your army'
'Right now,' said Gurmukh,
after a moment's
calculation, 'there is myself,
my cousin Sukhdev, my next
door neighbor Bhagat, and
the entire kabaddi team
from the gurudwara. That
makes eight'


Bush paused. 'I must tell
you, Gurmukh that I have
one million men in my army
waiting to move on my
command.'


'Arrey O! Main kya..' said
Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring
you back!'

Sure enough, the next day,
Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh,
I'm calling from Phagwara
STD, the war is still on! We
have managed to acquire
some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would
that be, Gurmukh' Bush
asked.

'Well, we have two
combines, a donkey and
Amrik's tractor.'

Bush sighed. 'I must tell
you, Gurmukh, that I have
16,000 tanks and 14,000
armored personnel carriers.
Also, I've increased my
army to 1-1/2 million since
we last spoke.'


'Oh teri ki....' said Gurmukh.
'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang
again the next day.


'Mr. Bush, the war is still
on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne......
We've modified Amrik's
tractor by adding a couple
of shotguns, sticking on
some wings and the pind's
generator. Four school pass
boys from Malpur have
joined us as well!'

Bush was silent for a minute
and then cleared his throat.

'I must tell you, Gurmukh,
that I have 10,000 bombers
and 20,000 fighter planes.
My military complex is
surrounded by laser-guided,
surface-to-air missile sites.
And since we last spoke,
I've increased my army to
TWO MILLION!'

'Tera pala hove....' said
Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring
you back.'
Sure enough, Gurmukh
called again the next day.
'hello  , Mr.Bush! I hello  , Mr.Bush! I am sorry
to tell you that we  had
to call off the war.'
'I'm sorry to hear that,' said
Bush. 'Why the sudden
change of heart'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've
all had a long chat over a
couple of lassi's, and the ladies said there's no way we can cook Langar for two million prisoners of wars!'




NOW THAT'S CALLED
PUNJABI CONFIDENCE

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Suhag Raat


Jab Ladki ki Suhagrat ke baad uski Saheli Puchhti hai
Kaisi rahi suhagrat ?

To vo batati hai – "Aaye the wo der se,
dil jala diya,
Pahle kiya Kiwad band, 
Fir Deepak Bhuja diya ...

Pahle khel khelne lage Seena Tatolkar,
Fir khel khelne lage Underwear khol kar,

hontho par firaya saman fir bola wo itrakar,
badi swad ice-cream hai darling chus mann lagakar.

sharmai mai bahut or samajh me kuch na aaya,
khola muh or lagi chusne fir maza bada mujhe aaya,

Ek Jang chhidne wali thi ab Palang par,
Gole wali Top rakh di thi jab usne Surang par,

rakh ke topi jagah pe jab usne ragad lagayi,
sursuri si hui jism me mai bahut karhani.

dhakke-pe dhakke mare usne andar daal kar
tez karta raha raftar wo meri cheekh-pukar par.

iske baad utha ke mujke ghodi mujhe banaya,
daal ke danda galat jagah par tanga khub chalaya.

fir se kiya mujhe sidha or tange meri uthayi,
aise karke dono taraf se usne meri band bajayi,

aaya jab aakhri time ehsas gajab ka hua,
thok-thok kar apne pani usne bha diya mera kua.

us pal ka baad hardam yeh mann me aata hai,
din-raat bas aisi hi suhagraat manake ko jee chahta hai.

tujhse bas yahi kahungi manale suhagraat,
mat kar shadi ka intzaar,
pakad le jo bhi mile kyunki
yeh jawani yeh waqt, yeh na aayenge bar-bar.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Pappu bechara

เคชเคค्เคจी ๐Ÿ‘ฉเค•ी เคฐोเคœ เคฐोเคœ เค•ी เคिเค•-เคिเค• เคธे เคชเคฐेเคถाเคจ เคชเคช्เคชू๐Ÿ‘จ เค…เคชเคจा เคธाเคฎाเคจ ๐Ÿ“ฆเคฌांเคงเคคे เคนुเค เคฌोเคฒा -: เค…เคฌ เคคो เคฎैं เคคेเคฐे เคธाเคฅ เคเค• เคชเคฒ เคญी เคจเคนीं เคฐเคนूँเค—ा ..
เคชเคช्เคชू เคฐेเคฒเคตे เคธ्เคŸेเคถเคจ ๐Ÿšžเค—เคฏा, เคชเคช्เคชू เคŸ्เคฐेเคจ ๐Ÿš‰เคฎें เคšเคขเคจे เคฒเค—ा เคคเคญी เค†เค•ाเคถเคตाเคฃी เคนुเคˆ
"เค‡เคธเคฎें เคฎเคค เคšเคข ,เคฏे เคชเคŸเคฐी เคธे เค‰เคคเคฐ เคœाเคฏเค—ी "๐ŸšŸ
เคชเคช्เคชू เคเคฏเคฐ เคชोเคฐ्เคŸ เค—เคฏा
เคตो เคช्เคฒेเคจ ✈เคฎें เคšเคขเคจे เคฒเค—ा เค•ि เค†เคตाเคœ เค†เคˆ เค‡เคธเคฎें เคฎเคค เคšเคขเคฏे เค•्เคฐैเคถ เคนो เคœाเคเค—ा"✈⚡
เคชเคช्เคชू เคจे เคฌเคธ ๐ŸšŽเคฎें เคœाเคจे เค•ी เคธोเคšी เค•े เคซिเคฐ เค†เคตाเคœ เค†เคˆ"เค‡เคธเคฎें เคฎเคค เคšเคข เคฏे เค–ाเคˆ เคฎें เค—िเคฐ เคœाเคฏเค—ी"๐ŸšŽ๐Ÿ”ฐ
เคชเคช्เคชू เค—ुเคธ्เคธे ๐Ÿ˜กเคธे เคฌोเคฒा-:"เค•ौเคจ เคนै เคฏाเคฐ?"
เค†เคตाเคœ เค†เคˆ -:" เคฎैं เคญเค—เคตाเคจ เคนूँ !"๐ŸŒž
เคชเคช्เคชू เคฐोเคคे เคนुเค เคฌोเคฒा -:," เคช्เคฐเคญु๐ŸŒž เคœเคฌ เคฎैं เค˜ोเฅœी ๐ŸŽเคชเคฐเคšเคข เคฐเคนा เคฅा เคคเคฌ เค†เคชเค•ा เค—เคฒा เคฌैเค  เค—เคฏा เคฅा เค•्เคฏा ..?
๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜

Monday, August 19, 2013

Xxx movies

I don't know why people criticise XXX Movies?
Although it is the most Positive Movie
No Murder
No War
No Fight
No Cheating (Everybody enjoys the Climax)
Lots of Love & always a very Happy Ending for all Charcters AND the Best part "jaha se dekho bhenchod wahi se samajh aa jati hai..!!!"๐Ÿ˜Ž

Srk

๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ…พ Things to Learn From SRK Movies: ❤๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’–

Kuch Kuch hota hai: DOST SE PYAAR

Mohabattein: ๐Ÿ‘จPRINCIPAL KI BETI SE PYAAR๐Ÿ˜น

Kal ho na ho: ๐Ÿ˜PADOSI KI BETI SE PYAAR

Kabhi khushi Kabhi gum: ๐Ÿ‘ดNAUKAR KI BETI SE PYAAR

Kabhi Alvida na Kehna: ๐Ÿ‘ชDUSARO KI BIWI SE PYAAR

Baazigar: ๐Ÿ™…DUSHMAN KI BETI SE PYAAR


Pardes: ๐Ÿ‘ฌDOST KI MANGETAR SE PYAAR

Dil se: ๐Ÿ‘ฟ TERRORIST SE PYAAR

Mai Hoon na: TEACHER๐Ÿ‘ต SE PYAAR 

Chennai Express : DON KI BETI SE PYAAR.. 

Note - SRK teaches us how to manage risky love affairs..!!!๐Ÿ’˜

arre haa, risky se yaad aaya,

The most risky love is...

Rab ne bana di jodi: KHUDKI biwi se pyaar๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ’ž

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Golfer tiger

golf - On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' toyer, sir" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are those?", asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, what on this god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fookin' Jaysus", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks of everything!"

Thursday, August 15, 2013

ฯ‰ฯƒะผั”ฮท ฯ‰ฮนll ะฒั” ฯ‰ฯƒะผั”ฮท

... ๐Ÿ˜
.
.
A 54 year old woman  had a heart attack & was taken 2 the hospital.๐Ÿ’”

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up ?"๐Ÿ’€

God said, "No, you have another 34 years 2 live."
๐Ÿ‘ผ
Upon recovery, the woman decided 2 stay in the hospital
& have a face-lift, liposuction, & tummy tuck. She even changed her hair color ๐Ÿ’… ๐Ÿ’‡ ๐Ÿ‘ฉ

Finally she was released from the hospital.๐Ÿ’ƒ

While crossing the road on her way home, she was killed by a truck.๐Ÿšš

Arriving in front of God, she asked, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

"You said I had another 34 years 2 live.
Why didn't you save me from the truck?"๐Ÿ˜ฃ

(You'll love this)
.
.
.
.
God replied:๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜œ

"I couldn't recognize you!"

Lol..................
Aur karo makeup ๐Ÿ˜‹

Jai hind

Height of deshbhakti : 
An indian boy wearing tri-colour condom and fucking a pakistani girl until she shouts...

ok ok ok.....Jai Hind...!! ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜=))

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Cake

Cake order - On wife's b'day, man ordered a cake on phone..

Salesman: Wat msg to put on d cake?

Man: Write "Getting older but U R getting better."

Salesman: How do u want me to put it? 

Man: Well.. put "U R getting older" at the top and "but U R getting better" at d bottom. 

When d cake was unveiled all guests were aghast at d msg. 

It read: "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom!" 

Moral:- Don't order cakes over phone.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Killer dice

2 sikh soldiers capture a pakistani,gave him a dice & said: 
If u get 1,2,3,4,5,We'll kill u.
Pakistani askd:
Aur agar 6 aya to?
Sikh Fauji:
Kabhi nahi khela kya? 6 aaya to phir se chance milega...๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Ultimate

here comes the ultimate.... 


Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room at  the vet's when they strike up a conversation.
 The black Lab  turns to the chocolate Lab and says, "So why are you  here?"
The Chocolate Lab replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on  everything.....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids But the  final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's  bed."
The black Lab says, "So what is the vet going to  do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off," comes the reply from the  chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."
The black  Lab then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you  here?"
The yellow Lab says, "I'm a digger I dig under fences,  dig up flowers and trees.
I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm  inside, I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night  when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch."
"So what are  they going to do to you?" the black Lab inquires.
"Looks like  I'm losing my nuts too, the dejected yellow Lab says.
The  yellow Lab then turns to the black Lab and asks, "Why are you  here?"
"I'm a humper," the black Lab says. "I'll hump  anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, whatever. 
I want to hump  everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower  and was bending down to dry her toes. I just couldn't help myself. I  hopped on her back and started hammering away"
The yellow and  chocolate Labs exchange a sad glance and says, "So, nuts off for you  too, huh?"
The black Lab says ....
"No,
I'm here to get my  nails clipped.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Kavita

๐Ÿ˜✌๐Ÿ˜œ✔
Ek Kavita mere gandu Dosto ke liye...
Tu Dost hai mera,
Tujh pe Jaan waar dunga,
Magar zyada uchhlega to
teri Gaand maar dunga.!
Tu dikhta hai achcha
Tu likhta hai achcha
Tu padhta hai achcha
Tu ladhta hai achcha,
Tujh se jo Panga lega
Uski main Phaad dunga!!
Magar zyada uchlega to
teri Gaand mar dunga.!
Tu maang le Jaan,
Tu maang le Aan,
Ladki ka Number ho,
Ya Randi ki Gaand,
Tere liye sab tere darr pe utaar dunga...
Magar zyada uchhlega to .....!
Hass mat Laude
Teri Gaand mar dunga...!!