Prostitute:1 pckt
Condom Dena..
CHEMIST: (Teasing)
Kaunsi Company
Ka Du BEHENJI..
Pro: Achhe Wala Dena,
Jis Se Teri BEHAN Ki
Ijjat Bani Rahe, mazaa
pura aaye aur Tu
MAMA Na Bane.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Stop smoking
Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: Three.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: Ten dollars.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Guy: 15 years.
Lady: So one pack is $10 and you've been smoking three packs a day, which puts your monthly spend at $900. In one year it would've been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: If you spend $10,800 a year, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your total spend at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after calculating compound interest for the past 15 years, you could've by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Yes. Oh! Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your fucking Ferrari?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: Three.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: Ten dollars.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Guy: 15 years.
Lady: So one pack is $10 and you've been smoking three packs a day, which puts your monthly spend at $900. In one year it would've been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: If you spend $10,800 a year, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your total spend at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after calculating compound interest for the past 15 years, you could've by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Yes. Oh! Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your fucking Ferrari?
"Clock has arrived"
A sindhis wife was expecting & the baby was due any day.
Sindhi was very confident it would be a boy & was looking 4wd to the delivery day.
As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city & had to go immediately.
B4 going, he asked his father-in-law to send a telegram confirming the birth of his son.
But in order to avoid giving a party to his office colleagues,he asks his father -in-law to write "the clock has arrived" & he will understand that the son is born.
The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl.
Now Sindhi's father-in-law didn't know wot to do.If he writes"the clock has arrived" My son in law will think he has a son.
If he writes"the clock has not arrived",d son in law will get worried tht something serious has happened. Being a very intelligent person,he finds a solution & sends the telegram.
Just read below,u will love it.
Son in law received the telegram,opened it eagerly & reads
"The clock has arrived, but the pendulum' is missing"
Friday, December 7, 2012
Pintu kaun
Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar chhodne ja
raha tha.
Jab bhi aunty ke boobs uski peeth se lagte
wo kehta :Na pintu na, ye aunty hai.
Ghar pahuch ke Aunty boli :Tu kis pintu ke
saath baat kar raha tha?
Ladka sharma ke bola :
Aapke nipples baar baar takra rahe
thhe,,Mera baar baar khada ho raha tha,to
mein usse samjha raha tha ke pintu khada
na ho, yeh to Aunty hai."
Aunty boli : "Dhutt pagle,
Aunty to mein teri hu,
Pintu ki nahin.... chal andar"
raha tha.
Jab bhi aunty ke boobs uski peeth se lagte
wo kehta :Na pintu na, ye aunty hai.
Ghar pahuch ke Aunty boli :Tu kis pintu ke
saath baat kar raha tha?
Ladka sharma ke bola :
Aapke nipples baar baar takra rahe
thhe,,Mera baar baar khada ho raha tha,to
mein usse samjha raha tha ke pintu khada
na ho, yeh to Aunty hai."
Aunty boli : "Dhutt pagle,
Aunty to mein teri hu,
Pintu ki nahin.... chal andar"
Multibagger
BECHARA MARD...!?
Agar aurat par hath uthaye to BESHARAM,
Aurat se maar khae to BUZDIL,
Aurat ko kisi ke 7 dekh ker ladai kre to JEALOUS,
Chup rahe to DARPOK,
ghar se bahar rahe to AAWARA,
ghar me rahe to NAAKARA,
bachho ko dante to ZALIM,
na dante to LAPARWAH,
Aurat ko naukari karane se roke to SHAK KARNE WALA,
na rokey to BIWI ki kamai KHANE WALA,
Maa ki mane to CHAMCHA,
Biwi ki sune to Joru ka GULAM...
Na Jane Kab Aayega,
"HAPPY MEN'S DAY"
Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
No Man👤 Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Searching these keywords on Google🌍`How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.
He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Time to laugh
------------------------------
SARDAR'Son:- papaji......
Bahar Darwaje par koi Swimming pool ke liye
Donation mang Reha hai.
SARDAR:- Puttar Ja, usko Ek Lota pani de de.
------------------------------
Sardar - Yaar raat bhar train me
Neend nahi aayi upar ki seat mili thi..
Dost - to exchange karna tha..
Sardar - kisse karta,
Niche seat pe koi tha hi nahi.
-----------------------------Jethalal- aare daya raat ko
Mobile charging me mat rakho,
Blast ho jayega,
Daya- tapu ke papa
Aap tension mat lijiye
Maine battery nikal di he...
------------------------------
Who was the 1st INDIAN to use 4G..
.
Ans: It's Anil kapoor.!
aG ,oG, lo G, suno G.
------------------------------
Mayawati came 2 lalu's house with an elephant,
Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho..??
Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.
Lalu- dhutt pagli hum elephantwa se puch raha hu.
------------------------------
Shadi me Sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh k socha ye bhi khane wali chez hai.
Jaise hi wo khane laga, to Sab Sardar Chillaye
"Oye Mat Kha,
Feeka hai"
------------------------------
TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department He Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?
STUDENT: Fire Brigade.
TEACHER: Wo Q?
STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi:)
------------------------------
Girl:Nice mobile,
Where did u buy?
Boy:I won dis in a running race
Girl:How many persons participated?
Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME.
------------------------------
Teacher: can you defined who is leacturer?
.
.
.
Student: Lecturer is a person
Who has a very bad habbit of
Speaking when someone sleeping.
------------------------------
Santa BLOOD Ke bare mein book padh raha tha.
Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu padh rahe ho ji?
Santa: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai
Ke kal mera BLOOD test hai...
Iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.!!
------------------------------
Customer: Waiter Aisi Chai Pilao
Jisko Pee Kar Tan Man Jhum Uthe Aur
Badan Nachne Lage.
Waiter: Sir Humare Yaha Bhens Ka Dudh Aata Hai,
Nagin Ka Nahi...
------------------------------
Boy to Girl:Tumhari Umar kya hai?
Girl:20 years
Boy: tum ne to
5 saal pehle bhi yahi batayi thi?
Girl: dekha ladkiyan zubaan ki
Kitni pakki hoti hain.
------------------------------
1 Sardar Scooter Leke Nikla
Aur Wrong Side Me Chalne Laga
Aur Tension Me Aa Gaya...
Aur Bola : Shit, Aaj Fir Late Ho Gya!
Sab Log Wapas Aa Rahe Hai
------------------------------
Judge : Do u accept that u,
Stole the money from him?
Thief : No sir, He only gave me.
Judge : when did he give u?
Thief : when I showed him the knife.
------------------------------
Agar aurat par hath uthaye to BESHARAM,
Aurat se maar khae to BUZDIL,
Aurat ko kisi ke 7 dekh ker ladai kre to JEALOUS,
Chup rahe to DARPOK,
ghar se bahar rahe to AAWARA,
ghar me rahe to NAAKARA,
bachho ko dante to ZALIM,
na dante to LAPARWAH,
Aurat ko naukari karane se roke to SHAK KARNE WALA,
na rokey to BIWI ki kamai KHANE WALA,
Maa ki mane to CHAMCHA,
Biwi ki sune to Joru ka GULAM...
Na Jane Kab Aayega,
"HAPPY MEN'S DAY"
Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
No Man👤 Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Searching these keywords on Google🌍`How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.
He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Time to laugh
------------------------------
SARDAR'Son:- papaji......
Bahar Darwaje par koi Swimming pool ke liye
Donation mang Reha hai.
SARDAR:- Puttar Ja, usko Ek Lota pani de de.
------------------------------
Sardar - Yaar raat bhar train me
Neend nahi aayi upar ki seat mili thi..
Dost - to exchange karna tha..
Sardar - kisse karta,
Niche seat pe koi tha hi nahi.
-----------------------------Jethalal- aare daya raat ko
Mobile charging me mat rakho,
Blast ho jayega,
Daya- tapu ke papa
Aap tension mat lijiye
Maine battery nikal di he...
------------------------------
Who was the 1st INDIAN to use 4G..
.
Ans: It's Anil kapoor.!
aG ,oG, lo G, suno G.
------------------------------
Mayawati came 2 lalu's house with an elephant,
Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho..??
Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.
Lalu- dhutt pagli hum elephantwa se puch raha hu.
------------------------------
Shadi me Sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh k socha ye bhi khane wali chez hai.
Jaise hi wo khane laga, to Sab Sardar Chillaye
"Oye Mat Kha,
Feeka hai"
------------------------------
TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department He Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?
STUDENT: Fire Brigade.
TEACHER: Wo Q?
STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi:)
------------------------------
Girl:Nice mobile,
Where did u buy?
Boy:I won dis in a running race
Girl:How many persons participated?
Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME.
------------------------------
Teacher: can you defined who is leacturer?
.
.
.
Student: Lecturer is a person
Who has a very bad habbit of
Speaking when someone sleeping.
------------------------------
Santa BLOOD Ke bare mein book padh raha tha.
Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu padh rahe ho ji?
Santa: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai
Ke kal mera BLOOD test hai...
Iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.!!
------------------------------
Customer: Waiter Aisi Chai Pilao
Jisko Pee Kar Tan Man Jhum Uthe Aur
Badan Nachne Lage.
Waiter: Sir Humare Yaha Bhens Ka Dudh Aata Hai,
Nagin Ka Nahi...
------------------------------
Boy to Girl:Tumhari Umar kya hai?
Girl:20 years
Boy: tum ne to
5 saal pehle bhi yahi batayi thi?
Girl: dekha ladkiyan zubaan ki
Kitni pakki hoti hain.
------------------------------
1 Sardar Scooter Leke Nikla
Aur Wrong Side Me Chalne Laga
Aur Tension Me Aa Gaya...
Aur Bola : Shit, Aaj Fir Late Ho Gya!
Sab Log Wapas Aa Rahe Hai
------------------------------
Judge : Do u accept that u,
Stole the money from him?
Thief : No sir, He only gave me.
Judge : when did he give u?
Thief : when I showed him the knife.
------------------------------
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