SEX JOKE OF 2013 ka guchha

Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Pe Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye.



Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli.



Dulhan: Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?



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Apni Sali Ke Saath Sex Karne Ke Baad Jija Bola



Jija: Tum Apni Didi Se Zyada Majaa Deti Ho



Saali Udaas Hote Hue: Dekhiye Na Jijaji, Fir Bhi Mere Pati Kahte Hai Tumhari Didi Jyada Maja Deti Hai



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Pati Ka Sex Karne Ka Mood Thha Office Se Ghar Aate Hue Bazar Se Condom Le Aya



Ghar Aaya To Patni Ne Us Se Pucha



Patni: Ye Condom Kitne Ka Hai?



Husband: 10 Rupe Ka



Patni: Hey Bhagwan, Mehngayi To Dekho, Jab Main Saatvi Class Mein Thhi Tab 50 Paisi Ke 3 Aate Thhe



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Ek Premi Joda Park Mein Bethe Thhe Aur Apas Mein Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe



Ladki Ne Apne Premi Ke Pyar Ki Parakh Karte Hue Us Se Puchha.



Ladki: Agar Tumhe 8 Boobs Mile To Kya Karoge?



Ladka Khushi Se Jhumte Hue: Main Use Ji Jaan Se Dabaunga… Chusunga… Chaatunga… Uspar Latak Jaunga…



Ladki Ye Sun Kar Gusse Se: To Wahaa Udhar Ek Kutiya Soyi Hui Hai, Chal Jaa Aur Shuru Ho Jaa



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Santa Apni Girlfriend Ke Boobs Choos Raha Tha



Girlfriend Ko Maja Aa Raha Tha Excited Hoke Boli



Girlfriend: You Want Anything Else?



Santa Masumiyat Se: Agar Do Parle G Ke Biscuits Aur Mil Jaate To Maja Hi Aa Jata



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Ladka Ladki Se Puchta Hai: Shaadi Ke Bad Vidayi Ke Time Ladkiya Roti Kyu Hai?



Ladki: Abe Ullu, Agar Tujhe Pata Ho Ki Koi Tujhe Ghar Se Door Le Jake Kar Sari Rat Teri Gaand Marega To Tu Kya Nachega



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Baba Se Unke Ek Bhakt Ne Pucha



Bhakt: Baba Ji, Hamare Haath Mein Lakeere Kyu Hai?



Baba Ji Ne Jawab Diya: Bachha Isliye Hai Taki Muth Marte Hue Lund Hath Se Slip Na Ho Aur Grip Bani Rahe





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Ultimate Truth Of Life Is Success Kisses You In Private



But…



Failure Always Fucks You In Public



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Tension - When Wife Is Pregnant.



Terror - When Girlfriend Is Pregnant.



Horror - When Both Are Pregnant.



Tragedy - When You Are Not Responsible For Both.



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Why Is Penis Always Sad?



1. His Hairstyle Is A Mess.



2. His Relatives Are Nuts.



3. His Neighbor Is An Asshole.



4. Whenever He Gets Up, He Vomits and Faints.



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Girlfriend and Boyfriend Hotel Mein Sex Karne Ke Liye Gaye



Jaisi Hi Vaha Jake Ladki Ne Jeans Utari To Panty Mein Se Hariyali Najar Aayi



Ladke Ne Ghabrate Hue Puchha: Abe Ye Kya Hai??



Ladki Sharmate Hue: Oh Shittt, Raat Ko Mooli Nikalana Hi Bhool Gayi



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Santa Aur Ladki Ke Bich Suni Gayi Ek Baat



Girl: Sir, What Do You Prefer? Breasts Or Legs?



Santa khush hote hue: Pussy



Girl slapped and said : Saale Tu Randi-Khanne Main Nahi Khada, Yeh KFC Ka Counter Hai



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Sex Peroid Mein Teacher Ne Bacho Se Pucha:



Tum Us Aadmi Ko Kya Kahoge Jo Condom Use Nahi Karta



Classroom Ke Sare Students Zor Se Bole: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy





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Q. Why Do Women Watch Porn Movie Till The End?



A. Because They Think That The Guy Will Marry The Girl In The End.



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Bar Girl Dancing, Public Clapping



She Removes Her Top, More Claps



Removes Her Skirt, Louder Claps



Removes Her Bra N Panty, Total Silence ????



Moral: You Cant Clap With 1 Hand (Kyunki Ek Hath Se Kabhi Tali Nahi Bajti

 Fauji's wife daily sends her nude photo with both legs wide open ...

"Janu, I'll wait like this till you come!"

Fauji: Wo to theek hai, par photo kaun kheench raha hai??

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 Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed, just like at the dinner table ...

Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says: Honey, would you pass the boobs please??

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 Husband is praying before going to bed ...

Wife: What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance.

Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!

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 The best excuse given by a lady for missing office on Monday ...

My husband took an overdose of Viagra ... couldn't leave him alone with the Maid!!

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 A boy comes to his class with broken spectacles ...

Teacher: What happened?

Boy: I was kissing my Girlfriend.

Teacher: But how did your spectacles break?

Boy: She closed her legs!!

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 What's the difference between a man & a woman ...

A man always has the same DICK between his legs all his life ...

A woman MAY NOT!!

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 Wife: Nashta kar lo.

Husband: Sex hi mera nashta hai & he starts sex.

Dopahar ko wife: Lunch kar lo.

Husband sex hi mera lunch hai & starts sex.

Raat ko jab husband aata hai to wife panty utaar kar
heater ke aage baithi hoti hai.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: Hawas ke poojari, khana garam kar rahin hoon!!

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 After operation, a girl to Dr: How soon can I resume my sex life?

Dr: You are the first patient to ask this question after tonsil operation!!

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 Sexy Lady goes to male gynae and says: Dr, a fly has entered my vagina.

Dr: There is only one solution. I can apply some honey on my penis and insert in your vagina. The fly will stick to penis and thus we can take it out.

Lady: Go ahead.

Dr starts.

After five minutes, sexy lady asks: Kya hua Dr, fly kab bahaar niklega?

Dr: Plan changed. I am going to drown that bastard fly inside!!!

THE AGEING PROBLEM

The travelling salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing.

A sign read: 'Don't Miss The Amazing Sardar.'

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There, under The Big Top, in the center ring, was a table with three walnuts on it..

Standing next to it was a middle aged Sardar.

Suddenly, the Sardar dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male equipment and - crack, crack, crack - smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!

The crowd erupted in applause and the Sardar was carried off on their shoulders.

Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus and saw the same faded sign that read, 'Don't Miss The Amazing Sardar '

He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!

He bought a ticket.

Again, the center ring was illuminated.

This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.

The Sardar stood before them, then suddenly dropped his pants and - thud, thud, thud - smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.

The crowd went wild!

Amazed, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
'You're incredible!' he told the Sardar 'but I have to know something. I saw your act 15 years ago and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?'

'My son said the Sardar.
Thats because of my age i m growing old

Salesman is puzzled, says "But Sardarji what has it got to do with age?

Sardar "Oye idiot my eyesight is now bad.............. I can't see the walnuts"


That is like a true Son of Punjab

BRA

Never under estimate the Importance of the BRA

Q: Striped BRA? zeBRA
Q: Poisonous BRA? coBRA
Q: Mathematical BRA? algeBRA
Q: Sunsign BRA? liBRA
Q: Magical BRA? aaBRA ka daBRA
Q: Religious BRA? BRAhmin!
Q: Metallic bra? BRAss
Q: Anjelina Jolie's Bra? BRAd pit
Q: Botany BRA? BRAnch
Q: Marketing BRA? BRAnd!
Q: Puctuation bra? BRAcket
Q: Scary bra? ghaBRAahat
Q: Room full of BRA's? liBRAry
Q: Alchohlic bra? BRAndy.
Q: surname of bra? ChhaBRA
Q: Bra which became the American President and inspired the whole world? aBRAham lincoln!
Q: Which bra is very important for any vehicle? BRAke

AND U THOUGHT ONLY WOMEN USE A BRA !!!

How "BRA-inless"...!!!


--///--//-\
One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog is hopping towards a water hole. The forest is so enormous that the frog have never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear is chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first." The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, apart from me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear is amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It's the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest are female as well."

The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine. The bear is shocked that the rabbit is asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike.

For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, are female."

The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said, "I wish that this bear is gay."


---/--//---//----
A blonde girl came home from college one day and told her mother that a boy had paid her a dollar to climb up a ladder and get his ball from off the roof.

"You silly girl," her mother said, "he just wanted you to climb the ladder so he could look up your skirt and see your undies."

The next day the same little girl came home from college and told her mother that the same boy gave her a dollar again to climb a ladder and get his ball off the roof. Just before her mother could admonish her for being silly, the little girl said, "No mum, this time I tricked him. I wasn't wearing any undies!"

Gaand Phat Gayi?

Zindagi ki Sab se Khatarnak khwahish:

Talvaar ki
Dhaar K Oopar
Khuli GAAND se
phisalna
Or
phir Lun se
Break Maarna.!

.

Kya hua
Soch kr hi gaand phat gai. ;-D