A page frm husband's diary...📒

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, grabbed my golf bag, tried not to wake my wife, sneaked quietly into garage & proceeded to back out into....a torrential rain !☔

 Wind was blowing at 50 mph. 

I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio & discovered that the weather would be bad through out the day. 

Disappointed I went back into the house,quietly undressed, and sneaked back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back& whispered: 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My beautiful and loving wife replied: I know... and can you believe my stupid husband is out there playing golf⛳ in that terrible weather !'

I still don't know to this day if she was joking,

but I have stopped playing golf

Drunks have a sense of humour

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling

Back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,

"Can I help you Sir?"

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's willey hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out....

"Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!!

😜😜😜😜😜😜