Sardy Army

George Bush was sitting in

his office wondering whom

to invade next when his

telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily

accented voice said, 'This is

Gurmukh from Phagwara,

District Kapurthala,

Punjab .. I am ringing to

inform you that we are

officially declaring the war

on you!'

'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush

replied, 'This is indeed

important news! How big is

your army'

'Right now,' said Gurmukh,

after a moment's

calculation, 'there is myself,

my cousin Sukhdev, my next

door neighbor Bhagat, and

the entire kabaddi team

from the gurudwara. That

makes eight'

Bush paused. 'I must tell

you, Gurmukh that I have

one million men in my army

waiting to move on my

command.'

'Arrey O! Main kya..' said

Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring

you back!'

Sure enough, the next day,

Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh,

I'm calling from Phagwara

STD, the war is still on! We

have managed to acquire

some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would

that be, Gurmukh' Bush

asked.

'Well, we have two

combines, a donkey and

Amrik's tractor.'

Bush sighed. 'I must tell

you, Gurmukh, that I have

16,000 tanks and 14,000

armored personnel carriers.

Also, I've increased my

army to 1-1/2 million since

we last spoke.'

'Oh teri ki....' said Gurmukh.

'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang

again the next day.

'Mr. Bush, the war is still

on! We have managed to get

ourselves airborne......

We've modified Amrik's

tractor by adding a couple

of shotguns, sticking on

some wings and the pind's

generator. Four school pass

boys from Malpur have

joined us as well!'

Bush was silent for a minute

and then cleared his throat.

'I must tell you, Gurmukh,

that I have 10,000 bombers

and 20,000 fighter planes.

My military complex is

surrounded by laser-guided,

surface-to-air missile sites.

And since we last spoke,

I've increased my army to

TWO MILLION!'

'Tera pala hove....' said

Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring

you back.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh

called again the next day.

'hello  , Mr.Bush! I hello  , Mr.Bush! I am sorry

to tell you that we  had

to call off the war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said

Bush. 'Why the sudden

change of heart'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've

all had a long chat over a

couple of lassi's, and the ladies said there's no way we can cook Langar for two million prisoners of wars!'

NOW THAT'S CALLED

PUNJABI CONFIDENCE