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Thursday, December 27, 2012

Fashionable punjaban

A fashionable Punjaban was walking by the river. Suddenly,she saw a crocodile.
She screamed -
Oh my God ! Lacoste !!!!=))

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Paisa. & mashwara

.”Paisa Gaand ki Tarah Hota Hay”
!!
“Hota Sab k Paas Hay Deta koi Nahi”

“Aur”;-

“Mashwara LUN ki Tarah Hota Hay”

“Deta Har koi Hay Magar Leta koi Nahi”

Monday, December 24, 2012

Sardar nashe mein

Sardar sharab p k BV k (bund) pe kiss pe kiss kiye ja rha tha k
Bv ki hawa nikal gai.

Sardar, BV se bola:
Sohnyo Kadi tooth paste v kar lya karo..

Babe di lag gayi

1 Doctor
Ne mreez baba k 2 teeke lgaey or teesra ek dosre mreez k lye tyar krne lga,
Baba smja ye b mare lye hai!

Baba dr se: putar bond paili wari vaikhi A?

Sunday, December 23, 2012

THE BEST ADVERTISMENT LINES AGAINST

..

Pizza, Pasta, Burger & French Fries-

Few Moments On Your LIPS., Forever On Your HIPS...!

Sardarji wah

1 Sardar Ne USA K Bar Me Lady Ka Putla Dekha, Jis K Munh Me Paise Daalne Aur Mummay Dabane Se Uski Phudi Se Botal Nikal Aati Thi.

Ghar Aa K Usne BV K Mouh Me Peaise Daal K Zor Se Mummay Daba Diye.
BV Ka Peeshab nikal gaya.

Sardar:
Teri Bhen Nu Lun,
Bhen Chod,
Botal Ander He Tor Ditti.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Multibagger

@@@ GOOD DAY @@@

Sex ke bare me ek buzurg: Wo din tha, jab biwi Baalo pe hath pherti thi to HATHIYAR khada ho jata tha!
Ab HATHIYAR pe hath pherti hai to Baal khade ho jate hai!

? @@@@@@@@

1 Ldki ki T Shirt pe car bani hui thi.
1 Baccha use Dekh rha tha
L: Car chalani he Kya?
B: nhi car nhi chalani par agar aap ki ijazat ho to horn baja lu?

@@@@@@@@

Sex education in schools is a good idea but kids should not get homework for the same
@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Waqt ko kabhi
zaya na karo.!
Waqt ki keemat,
us shakhs se puchho
Jo Toilet ke bahar khada ho...
usey Loose Motion ho,
aur...
Andar wale ko,
"constipation"

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

College Me
Madam-Lakir ka Fakir Muhavre ka udhahran do
Boy-Bura Nhi Manana
Madam- Nhi Bura Q
Boy-Aapki Panty k andar
jo Lakir hai
Hmari chaddi me Uska fakir hai
@@@@@@@@@@@@

Ek ladki pandit k pero ko jhukar chuti he
Or khti he pandit g koi gyan ki bat btao
Pandit- beti bra pahena kro
kyoki jhukti
ho to gyan
Or dhyan dono ki maa
chud jati he
LKG tchr:If u tel 1 to 10 witout mistaks I'l giv u a kiss

Boy:If i tel 1 to 100 do u hav any better package.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Penis insurance

Insurance Agent-"Sir, We Also Do Penis Insurance"
.
Sardar-"U Replace With New One?"
.
Agent-"No Sir, Once It stops Working,
We Give Free Services to Madam".

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Johny

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Johnny says " Mas-ter-bate."
Ms Hall smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that’s a mouthful."
Little Billy says, "No, Miss Hall, you’re thinking of a blowjob."

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Smart prostitute

Prostitute:1 pckt
Condom Dena..

CHEMIST: (Teasing)
Kaunsi Company
Ka Du BEHENJI..

Pro: Achhe Wala Dena,
Jis Se Teri BEHAN Ki
Ijjat Bani Rahe, mazaa
pura aaye aur Tu
MAMA Na Bane.

Stop smoking

Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: Three.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: Ten dollars.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Guy: 15 years.
Lady: So one pack is $10 and you've been smoking three packs a day, which puts your monthly spend at $900. In one year it would've been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: If you spend $10,800 a year, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your total spend at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after calculating compound interest for the past 15 years, you could've by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Yes. Oh! Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your fucking Ferrari? 

"Clock has arrived"


A sindhis wife was expecting & the baby was due any day.

Sindhi was very confident it would be a boy & was looking 4wd to the delivery day.
As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city & had to go immediately.
B4 going, he asked his father-in-law to send a telegram confirming the birth of his son.
But in order to avoid giving a party to his office colleagues,he asks his father -in-law to write "the clock has arrived" & he will understand that the son is born.
The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl.
Now Sindhi's father-in-law didn't know wot to do.If he writes"the clock has arrived" My son in law will think he has a son.
If he writes"the clock has not arrived",d son in law will get worried tht something serious has happened. Being a very intelligent person,he finds a solution & sends the telegram.
Just read below,u will love it.
Son in law received the telegram,opened it eagerly & reads
"The clock has arrived, but the pendulum' is missing"

Friday, December 7, 2012

Pintu kaun

Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar chhodne ja
raha tha.
Jab bhi aunty ke boobs uski peeth se lagte
wo kehta :Na pintu na, ye aunty hai.
Ghar pahuch ke Aunty boli :Tu kis pintu ke
saath baat kar raha tha?
Ladka sharma ke bola :
Aapke nipples baar baar takra rahe
thhe,,Mera baar baar khada ho raha tha,to
mein usse samjha raha tha ke pintu khada
na ho, yeh to Aunty hai."
Aunty boli : "Dhutt pagle,
Aunty to mein teri hu,
Pintu ki nahin.... chal andar" 

Multibagger

BECHARA MARD...!?
Agar aurat par hath uthaye to BESHARAM,
Aurat se maar khae to BUZDIL,
Aurat ko kisi ke 7 dekh ker ladai kre to JEALOUS,

Chup rahe to DARPOK,

ghar se bahar rahe to AAWARA,

ghar me rahe to NAAKARA,

bachho ko dante to ZALIM,

na dante to LAPARWAH,

Aurat ko naukari karane se roke to SHAK KARNE WALA,

na rokey to BIWI ki kamai KHANE WALA,

Maa ki mane to CHAMCHA,

Biwi ki sune to Joru ka GULAM...

Na Jane Kab Aayega,

"HAPPY MEN'S DAY"
Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

No Man👤 Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Searching these keywords on Google🌍`How to tackle wife?`

Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.

He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Time to laugh 
------------------------------
SARDAR'Son:- papaji......
Bahar Darwaje par koi Swimming pool ke liye
Donation mang Reha hai.
SARDAR:- Puttar Ja, usko Ek Lota pani de de.
------------------------------
Sardar - Yaar raat bhar train me
Neend nahi aayi upar ki seat mili thi..
Dost - to exchange karna tha..
Sardar - kisse karta,
Niche seat pe koi tha hi nahi.
-----------------------------Jethalal- aare daya raat ko
Mobile charging me mat rakho,
Blast ho jayega,
Daya- tapu ke papa
Aap tension mat lijiye
Maine battery nikal di he...
------------------------------
Who was the 1st INDIAN to use 4G..
.


Ans: It's Anil kapoor.!
aG ,oG, lo G, suno G.
------------------------------
Mayawati came 2 lalu's house with an elephant,
Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho..??
Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.
Lalu- dhutt pagli hum elephantwa se puch raha hu.
------------------------------
Shadi me Sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh k socha ye bhi khane wali chez hai.
Jaise hi wo khane laga, to Sab Sardar Chillaye
"Oye Mat Kha,
Feeka hai"
------------------------------
TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department He Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?
STUDENT: Fire Brigade.
TEACHER: Wo Q?
STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi:)
------------------------------
Girl:Nice mobile,
Where did u buy?
Boy:I won dis in a running race
Girl:How many persons participated?
Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME.
------------------------------
Teacher: can you defined who is leacturer?
.
.
.
Student: Lecturer is a person
Who has a very bad habbit of
Speaking when someone sleeping.
------------------------------
Santa BLOOD Ke bare mein book padh raha tha.
Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu padh rahe ho ji?
Santa: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai
Ke kal mera BLOOD test hai...
Iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.!!
------------------------------
Customer: Waiter Aisi Chai Pilao
Jisko Pee Kar Tan Man Jhum Uthe Aur
Badan Nachne Lage.
Waiter: Sir Humare Yaha Bhens Ka Dudh Aata Hai,
Nagin Ka Nahi...
------------------------------
Boy to Girl:Tumhari Umar kya hai?
Girl:20 years
Boy: tum ne to
5 saal pehle bhi yahi batayi thi?
Girl: dekha ladkiyan zubaan ki
Kitni pakki hoti hain.
------------------------------
1 Sardar Scooter Leke Nikla
Aur Wrong Side Me Chalne Laga
Aur Tension Me Aa Gaya...
Aur Bola : Shit, Aaj Fir Late Ho Gya!
Sab Log Wapas Aa Rahe Hai
------------------------------
Judge : Do u accept that u,
Stole the money from him?
Thief : No sir, He only gave me.
Judge : when did he give u?
Thief : when I showed him the knife.
------------------------------

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Story of santa birth

Santa ki Maa: 20 saal tak meri koyi aulaad nahi hui..

Press Repoter: Phir aapne kya kiya?

Maa: Phir mein 21 saal ki hui to papa ne meri shaadi karayi, phir ja ke Santa hua..!

Exam hall

Xam hall is d most vulgar n seducing place whr u can say 2an unknown girl

1. Kuch to dikha de yar,
chal figure hi dikha de

2. Hath hata, kuch dikh ni rha. Ese mai kese krunga?

3. Thoda sa reh gya niche ka Bas 10 min.

4. Dede yar,wrna m to mar jaunga.

5. 1baar aur khol de, mai fatafat kr lunga is bar.😀

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Opportunism

1 Nangi ladki 20 Floor se giri.
18 floor par 1 aadmi ne catch kiya, bola 'Chusegi' ???
Ladki shareef thi, manaa kar diya.
Aadmi ne usska hath chodd diya,

Iss barr 16 floor pe 1 aadmi ne catch kiya And bola 'Chudegi' ?
Ladki : No.
Usne bhi uska hath chodd diya
Ladki girne lagi, Gaand fati maut ke darr se, socha=-?kash unki baat man leti.
12 floor pe 1 aadmi ne phir catch kiya.
Ladki - Mein Chusungi bhi Chudungi bhi.
(Iss baar aadmi Shareef nikla ) Aadmi - Chal randi saali , Jaa, marr...
.
OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS ONCE ONLY, SOMETIMES TWICE BUT NEVER THEREAFTER..

Saalo tum logon ko achaa inspirational msg bhi samjhaane ke liye Sexy tareeke se bhejna paddta hai..

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Avoid smoking

Doctor: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Doc: How many packs a day?
Guy: 3 packs.
Doc: How much per pack?
Guy: $10.00 per pack.
Doc: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years
Doc: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Hmm..Correct.
Doc: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Doc: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?
Doc: No.
Guy: Then where's your f@cking Ferrari?!! X_X =)) =D

Monday, December 3, 2012

Best friends

Before Paul goes to war, he fits a chastity belt on his wife.
He locks it and gives the key to his best friend Fergus.
"If I'm not back within 4 years, open and enjoy".
He hops on his horse and hits the road.
A half an hour later he notices a dust cloud behind him.
He stops and sees that it is Fergus. "What's wrong?" he asks.
Out of breath, Fergus answers. "It's the wrong key!


"Men will B Men!!":p



--//--/---/
Girlfriend: Kya Tum Mere Liye Farhaad Ki Tarhan Dhood Ki Nehren Nahi Nikaal Sakte Ho ?

Boyfriend: Kyun Nahi Tum Dabaney Ka Moqa To Do!