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Saturday, November 30, 2013

CHASHMA & BRA ka Tulnatmak adhyayan

-

1.Dono ki banawat ek jaisi hoti he,

2.Shuruaat me dono ko pahanne me Jijchak hoti he,

3.Ek ko nazar aane k liye 
 & dusre ko nazar se bachane k liye pahna jata he,

4.Umar aur upyog k sath-sath dono ka number badh jata he,

5. Chashma utarne k bad aankh michmicha jati he. aur,
BRA utarte hi aankhe CHAUNDHIYA jati he.

6. Chshma pahanne k bad aur Bra utarne k bad uske upyog ki cheez mool roop se badi ho jati he.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Punjabi

For all my Punjabi friends who will understand this 
Mama-TENU Aini maar KYON PYI..?
Bhanja- KAL BaRAAT vich BOLI GALAT PEGI C..?
Mama : KIDDAN...?
Bhanja : "BAARI BRSI KHATAN GAYA C KHAT KE LEANDI TAAR , BHNGRA TA SAJDA, JE NACHE KURI DA YAAR.?
Mama-Fir ta maar paini hi c.
Bhanja-Mainu ta sirf maar hi payi 
jehra nachiya c audda parso BHOG hai..,..😄😃😀
AMERICAN LIFE STYLE.. 
------------------------------
DAUGHTER: Sorry Dad, I got married yesterday.. Forgot to invite U..

DAD: U naughty.. It's Ok.. But Don't forget next Time..😜😜😜😜.            ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Population Comparison :   
-------------------------- INDIAN :  I hav 4 sis & 3 bro. Wat
abt U?
AMERICAN : I hav no sis or 
bro.Bt I hav 4 Moms from 1st
dad , 3 dads from 1st mom.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

😜😜😜😜😜😜Moulvi apni biwi ki Qabrr pe zor zor se PANKHA chala ke RO Raha tha. 
Kisi ne kaha- Itni Mohabbat? Ya Allah!
Moluvi ne kaha- Marne wali keh gayi thi, meri qabar ki mitti sukhane ke baad hi dusra nikah karna.
 Pata nahi koun sala roj 2 balti🚿 pani dal jata hai.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
😝Touching story...
A husband and wife went for a walk. While walking husband got hurt by a stone and started bleeding. He looked at his wife, hoping she would tear her dupatta and tie it on the wound.

Wife looked in his eyes and said: Sochna bhi mat...
Designer piece hai!!!
😄😆😝😜
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Q. Kashmir aur biwi mein kya samanta hai.....


Ans. Waise to dono hi samasya hai... par padosi nazar daale to gussa aata hai..
 👿😡👿😡😄😎😉😜

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Agreement

Due to the current agitation of women against men, please find enclosed herewith a copy of 'Agreement Before SEX' for your safe sex ride and to avoid rape charges thereafter :

_____AGREEMENT BEFORE SEX_____ 

I, __________________________, the undersigned female partner (herein referred to as the 'screwee'), about to enjoy sexual intercourse with _______________ _______________ (hereafter referred to as the 'screwer'), certify as follows :

1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent. 

2. THAT I am not under the influence of any narcotic substance(s). 

3. THAT the aforementioned screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me. 

4. THAT I, the screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever. 

5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him. 

6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and I do not care. 

7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk. 

8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him; because I love it and want it as much as he does. 

9. THAT in the event that I receive full and 'delicious' satisfaction, which I expect, declare in advance, the capacity and willingness for further participation as soon as time permits. 

10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that : 
 
a) I contract a sexual disease, 
 
b) I fall pregnant, 
 
c) I feel that he is violating any legislation - moral, legal or 
otherwise. 

SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED ON THIS __________ DAY OF (MONTH)_____________________ 
(YEAR) ___________ AT ____________ __________________________________

Signature of Screwee :
Top 12 shops...

1.Gandhi Hair Saloon.
👴
2.Mallika Textiles.
👗
3.Kalmadi Constructions Pvt Ltd
🏡
4.Jayalalita Fitness Club.
💪
5.Dharmendra Dance Academy.
💃
6.Mayawati Beauty Parlour.
💄
7.Yamraj Travels.
8.Surdas Opticals.
👽
9.Inzamam English Classes.
🙊
10.Salman Marriage Bureau.

11.Rakhi Satsang Kendra...
😎
And.....
12.Manmohan Public Speaking School.
😷

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Sign

Bank manager: Ye kiska Signature hai?

     "@@@@22". 

Santa : Meri daadii ka!

Bank manager: aisa kaisa naam?
 
Santa : Jalebi Baai...😉

Khudai

Khuda kare kisi ko judai na mile.
Wah wah.
Khuda kare kisi ko judai na mile.
Wah wah.
Or jo group main MSG na kare use thand me rajai na mile.
Ab
bolo
wah wah.
👻👻👻👻👻👻💲™
Karo abt msg

Murga

Sardar:Ye murga kitne ka hai?
Murgawala:Rs.40,30,10.
Sardar:Rs.10ka, itna sasta kyo?
Murgawala:ise AIDS hai.
Sardar-de do,sirf khana hai.GAAND thodi maarni hai

Friday, November 22, 2013

Vakil

💈Ek High Court Ka Vakil Kahi Ja Raha Tha Ki Jungle Ke Raste Meun Uski Car🚗 Kharab Ho Gayi.

Door Tak Nazar Daudayi To Ek Jagah Bulb🏮 Jalta Dikhai Diya, Vakil Raat Wahi Gujarne Ke Irade Se Udhar Chal Pada.

Knock Kiya To Andar Se Aurat Ki Aawaz Aay: "Kaun Hai?"

Vakil : "Main High Court Ka Vakil Hun, Meri Car Kharab Ho Gayi Hai So Main Raat Gujarna Chahta Hun Yaha"

Darwaja Khula Aur Saamne Ek Sexy Aurat Khadi Thhi

Aurat: "Mere Paas Ek Hi Room Hai Aur Bed Bhi Ek Hai"

Vakil : "Aap Chinta Na Kare Main High Court Ka Vakil Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi."

Dono Jab Sone Ke Liye Bistar Par Pahunche To

Aurat: "Mujhe Sirf Bra Aur Painty Mein Sone Ki Aadat Hai?"

Vakil : "Aap Jaise Chahe Soye, Main High Court Ka Vakil Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi."

Aurat Ne Sare Kapde Utare Aur Bra And Panty Mein Let Gayi Aur Thodi Der Baad Boli

Aurat : "Mujhe Saath Mein Lete Insaan Se Lagg Ke Aur Uske Uper Taang Rakh Ke Sone Ki Adat Hai"

Vakil : "Madam Aap Jaise Marji Soiye Mujhe Koi Problame Nahi Main High Cort Ka Vakil Hun."

Raat Gujar Gaye Subah Vakil Sahab Bahar Baithe Chai Pee Rahe The To Unhone Dekha Ki Us Aurat Ne 2 Murge Aur 10 Murgiya Paal
Rakhi Thi Jinme Se Ek Murga Jo Langda Tha, Wo Sab Murgiyo Ke Piche Bhag Raha Tha Aur Dusra Ek Murga Chupchap Baitha Tha

Vakil Se Ye Dekh Kar Raha Nahi Gaya

Vakil : "Ye Dusra Murga Chupchap Baitha Hai.. Kya Ye Bimar Hai?"

Aurat: "Nahi .. Ye Chutiya High Court Ka Vakil Hai" :😜😀😀

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Sidhuism

Latest from Sidhu......        
Marzi Ka Sex Kabhi Paap Nahi Hota. 
Piche se Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap Nahi Hota.
Condom Jarur Lagana Mere Dost,
Q ki,
Khade Lund Ke Paas Dimag Nahi Hota....!!

Thoko tali...!!
Bachon k Masoom Sawal
Or
Teacher La jawab

PAPPU 
Miss, "BUS" MALE he ya FEMALE?

( miss Sochne Lagi)

Ek Bacha: Teacher yeh Female he,

2nd Bacha: Woh Kese,

3rd Bacha: Q-k Sub Log Us pr Charhte Hen,

(Miss Pareshan)

4th Bacha: Agr Bus FEMALE he or Sub Us pr Charhte Hen
to Us k Bache Q Nhi Hote?

(Miss Ziyada Pareshan)

5th Bacha: Is Liye k Sub Us pr Peeche Se Charhte Hen!

(Miss Sharam se Pani Pani)

6th: Mana k Sabhi Peeche se Charhte Hen Lekin Driver to Agay se Charhta He Na?
Phir Bache Q Nhi Hote?

(Miss ki Saans Band)

Pappu: Q-k Woh Topi Pehan k Charhta He

MISS  BEHOSH!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Thand

Beth k 🚽bathrrom🚽 mein shenahah k jaise...👑.
sardi k mausam mein sochtaa hu aise...💭🌁

"ki kar to li hai toone beta....
abb thande paani se dhoega Kaise....🚿💩"

😜😆😂

Friday, November 8, 2013

How various wifes fight with their respective husbands...

Pilot's wife: Jyaada ud mat...

📚Teacher's wife: Mujhe mat sikhaao..

Painter's wife: Thobda rang dungi...

Dhobi's wife: Dho dungi...

🎭Actor's wife: Naatak mat kar...

Dentist's wife: Daat todi dungi..

CA's wife: Hisaab se raho...

Engineer's wife: sab parts dhile kar dungi..

🏤 Architect's wife: sidhe raho nahi to daancha ki design change kar dungi...

& the Best one😛

Marketing person's wife: jyaada bologe to OLX pe bech dungi

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Randee






Y Ranbir & Deepika actually break-up???
They thought ....

If Abhishek & Ashwarya were called
"AbhiAsh"...

Saif & Kareena are called "Saifeena"...

Thn they wud b called....
"Randee "

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Dosto ne naam.. Zindgi Kurbaan :-

-:



Lund ke bharose jiya nahi karte,

Chut ke pyalo ko piya nahi karte,

Kuch dost bhosdike aise bhi hote hai

Jinki gand me ungli na karo toh wo yaad kiya bhi nahi karte.

To mere pagal lodo 
zara gaur se Sunooooo ...


arz kiya hai...


aalu ka paratha aur sarso ka saag.
wah...wah...


aalu ka paratha aur sarso ka saag.
wah...wah...


Mai gand marne aa raha hu, jahan bhagna hai bhaag. 



----------------------



arz kiya hai...


ye kaali kaali ankhe, ye gore gore gaal...
ye kaali kaali ankhe, ye gore gore gaal.....


aur sunao kaisa hai tu, JHAANT Ke BAAL ?




----------------------


Arz kia hai...


Yaara teri yaari pe mujhe shak nahi..
Yaara teri yaari pe mujhe shak nahi..


Sabne teri gaad maari...
Kya mera koi hak nahi.....


----------------------



Arz kiya hai...

Rajwade me ud rahe the Ghode,
Rajwade me ud rahe the Ghode,

Dhyan se kya pad raha hai be Lode,
kabhi dekha hai tune udte hue Ghode. 


-----------------------


Arz kia hai ke...
Wo aai apke sapno m aur apko SWAPNDOSH ho gya..
Wah-wah...

Uski bhi ijjat bach gai aur apko b santosh ho gya..
Wah-wah...

Ab has bhi le lode .....

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Roye hum is kadar unke Seene se lipat kar,



Roye hum is kadar unke Seene se lipat kar..

ki wo khud apni Bra Khol kar boli,
Dabaa le Kamine, Naatak mat kar..!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Post Diwali

चली गई दिवाली, शुरू हुई ठंड;
सिकुड़ गयी गोटी, अकड़ गये लंड;
आयेगी होली, चली जायेगी ठंड;
फूल जायेगी गोटी, लटक जायेंगे लंड;
आपको शुभ ठंड, पकड़े रहो लंड।