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Tuesday, September 29, 2015

ए खुदा,,, मेरी मौत आने के 5 मिनट पहले बता देना कि
मै
मरने वाला हूं ।

नही तो,

मोबाइल फार्मेट किये बिना मर गया तो इज्जत के झंडे लहरा जाएंगे ।
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
IT dept found spelling mistake in Sunny Leone's ITR form

She clarified that its correctly written as 50 Lacs - Anal Income 

😂😂😂
Last night, I went to a party hosted by my rich Punjabi friend, Singh. 

On arrival, he greeted me with his pretty wife and said, "LICK HER IN THE FRONT & BANG HER AT THE BACK". 

I was SCANDALIZED!!!

Then his wife explained, "Bhaisahab! Unhone kaha, "LIQUOR IN THE FRONT & BHANGRA AT THE BACK"".



😜😜😜😜😝😝
Doctor Dubey had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
 
"Dubey, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dubey."
 
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
 




 Dubey.....
 Dubey.....
 Dubey, you Bastard..
 You're a veterinary doctor" 😂😂😂

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Doctor Dubey had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
 
"Dubey, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dubey."
 
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
 




 Dubey.....
 Dubey.....
 Dubey, you Bastard..
 You're a veterinary doctor" 😂😂😂
मास्टर जी ने सांता को फोन किया_..आपका बेटा बड़ा शैतान हे..आज उसने क्लासरूम की जमीन पे 500 के नोट की हूबहू फोटो बना दी..उसे उठाने के चक्कर में मेरे नाख़ून टूट गए..इसे समझाते क्यों नहीं..?

सांता_..मास्टरजी ..मैं खुद ICU से बोल रहा हूँ..भोसड़ी वाले ने कल बिजली के सॉकेट पे चूत बना दी थी..

Saturday, September 26, 2015

मोदी to PA : अब कहाँ का दौरा बचा है?


PA: अब सिर्फ़ दिल का दौरा बचा है...
😳😁

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Man marries deaf girl
He writes "we must work out a code: If I want sex I'll stroke ur left breast-U reply by pulling my penis ONCE for YES

OR














62 times for NO!
😂 good morning guys

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A sardar and a woman were good friends. They decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding they discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, sardar decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it INFREQUENTLY' she replied.

The sardar sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses,  leaned over towards her and whispered -

"Is that one word or two?" 😄
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😳😳

Sunday, September 13, 2015

मूर्ति बेचने वाले गरीब कलाकार के लिए,
किसी ने क्या खूब लिखा है....

गरीबो के बच्चे भी खाना खा सके त्योहारों में,

इसिलिये भगवान खुद बिक जाते है बाजारों में.....👌👌👌👌
A sardar and a woman were good friends. They decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding they discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, sardar decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it INFREQUENTLY' she replied.

The sardar sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses,  leaned over towards her and whispered -

"Is that one word or two?" 😄
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😳😳
अत्यंत हरामी बच्चा👶

एक आदमी अपने 11 साल के बेटे का स्कूल बैग देख रहा था
बैग में से एक कंडोम मिला

बाप: इस उम्र में बैग में ये ले के घूमता है

बच्चा: तो क्या करूँ
इस उम्र में बाप बन जाऊँ?
बर्दाश्त तो आपसे वो भी नहीं होगा 😝😂

Thursday, September 10, 2015

पति: आज 8 बजे कुतों की रेस है, मुझे वहाँ जाना है। 

पत्नि: आप भी ना.... हद करते हो, ठीक से चला जाता नहीं और रेस लगाने की पड़ी है। 

😳😳😂😳😳

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

🐓🐓🐓
तराजू पर बैठा मुर्गा ग्राहक....
को घूर-घूर कर देख रहा था.....

ग्राहक- क्यों बे मुर्गे घूर... 
          क्यों रहा हैं मुझे ???

मुर्गा बोला..  
.

साले मुझे तो खरीद लिया.. 
अब प्याज खरीद कर दिखा...
😝
विकट समस्या है...
'पटेल' जीने का अधिकार माँग रहे हैं;
'जैन' मरने का अधिकार माँग रहे हैं;
और 'पंजाबी' सिर्फ 'पीने' का अधिकार माँग रहे हैं।

Sunday, September 6, 2015

लड़के का पिता : समधी जी , 
नीट क्यों पी रहे है...

लड़की का पिता : हमारे यहाँ लड़की के घर का पानी नहीं पीते है...

ये होते है संस्कार ।  
😀
3 Fucking Laws of Management - If you learn them, no one can beat you in Corporate Management, but unfortunately even Harvard Business School does not teach them.





1. Fucking Law of Delivery Time - No matter how hard and fast you fuck, the child comes after 9 months.

Moral - Pressurizing does not alter delivery period.











2. Fucking Law of Direction - Even though both holes  are nearby, if by a wrong shot, you enter the wrong hole, no matter how hard you fuck, you never get a child.

Moral - Right direction is very important to get the results, even few centimeters away from right direction, even if it gives satisfaction, cannot lead to results.




3. Fucking Law of Human Resources - By appointing 4 men to fuck 1 woman, you cannot get 4 children, but if you appoint one man and 4 women, you can get 4 children.

Moral - Appoint the right person at the right position. Otherwise you would keep on wondering, why you are not getting the results even after appointing more men.         


forward to all Hard working employees.

😜
End of management Gyaan! 😜😄😄😄