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Friday, July 12, 2013

Dipper

Brilliant business idea from Punjab..

Banta: I'm starting a condom company, suggest a good name..

Santa: Name it DIPPER.

 You'll get free publicity on all indian trucks "Use dipper at night"๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘

Sardar special

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Beat this
*Sugar Test* *
Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
 
* * Sardars and scooter* *
Three Sardars were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his hand.
 
One of the Sardars told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space.
 
* * Lion and Sardars* *
Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand "
 
* * Cyclone* *
Bank manager asks Sardar in an interview: "What is cyclone"
Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"
 
* * Side Effects* *

Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why?
He wanted to avoid side effects!
 
 
* *Bus tickets* *
Bus conductor: Ticket, ticket
Sardar: Give two tickets
Conductor: Why two?
Sardar: If I lose one, another will be there
Conductor: What if you lose both?
Sardar: No problem, I have pass...
 
* *Advice* *
A famous Sardar's declaration to the media: "I will never marry in my
life. And I will advise the same to my children too"
 
* * Oxygen* *
Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Sardar: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...
 
* * Skeleton* *
Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting ,but forgot to stop it!!!
Too good!! 

Ant and Grosshopper - Indian Version of story - too good and fact


Original Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and
well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the
cold.


Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as 'injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven & Everlasting Peace for prompt support
as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in
the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism Against
Grasshoppers Act'[POTAGA] , with effect from the beginning of the winter..

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, BBC, CNN.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.


Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley ,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
in India ,

....AND

As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...!!


N.B.: I have no idea whose creative mind this has come out from, but this piece is awesome

Paheli

Wife k Badan me wo konsi cheez hai Jise wo Dabane nahi deti aur husband din-rat dabana chahta hai?
.
Socho
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

Uska GALA"
.
har sms non veg nahi hota yar

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Nano

Biwi Ke Kuch Dino Se Mayake Mein Hone
Ki Wajah Se Santa Ko Badi Tharki Chadi
Hui Thi.
To Tang Aake Kothe Pe Gaya.
Waha Dalal Ne Sabhi Cgs Ke Nam Car Ke
Namo Pe Rakhe Hue The.
Dalal: “Kon Si Chahiye”
“Honda Civic Rs 10000, Ford Figo Rs
8000, Hundai i10 Rs 6000, Maruti Alto Rs
4000, Tata Nano Rs 500.”
Santa Ne Kaam Hi Chalana Tha To Paise
Bachane Ke Liye Bola
Santa: “Nano Hi Laa Do”
Dalal Thodi Der Baad Ek Hijde Ko Lekar
Aa Gaya
Ye Dekhte Hi Santa Gusse Se Laal Peela
Hote Hue Bola.
Santa: “Abe Sale Ye Kya Hai?”
Dalal Muskurate Hue: “Sir Nano Ka
Engine Pichhe Hota Hai“

เค•เคฌीเคฐ เค•े เคธेเค•्เคธी เคฆोเคนे

 :
เค•เคฒ เคšोเคฆे เคธो เค†เคœ เคšोเคฆ, เค†เคœ เคšोเคฆे เคธो เค…เคฌ,
เคฌीเคฌी เคคो เคšुเคฆเคคी เคฐเคนेเค—ी, เคชเฅœोเคธเคจ เคšोเคฆेเค—ा เค•เคฌ !
เคเคธी เคฒเฅœเค•ी เคšोเคฆिเคฏे, เคฒंเคก เค•ा เค†เคชा เค–ोเคฏे,
เค”เคฐों เคธे เคšुเคฆी เคจा เคนो, เคฌीเคฌीเคตो เคนी เคนोเคฏे !
เคฌเฅœा เคนुเค† เคคो เค•्เคฏा เคนुเค†, เคคेเคฐा เคฒंเคก เคนुเคœुเคฐ,
เคนเคฎเคจे เคญी เคคो เคฒเฅœเค•िเคฏों เคธे, เคฎเคœ्เคœे เคฒिเค เคญเคฐเคชूเคฐ !
เค•เคฐเคค เค•เคฐเคค เคšुเคฆाเคˆ เคธे, เคฒंเคก เคนोเคค เคฌเคฒเคตाเคจ,
เคšूเคค เคฎैं เค†เคตเคค เคœाเคตเคค เคธे, เคฒंเคกเคฌเคจे เคฎเคนाเคจ !
เค•ुंเคตाเคฐी เค•เคฒि เคจा เคšोเคฆिเคฏे, เคšूเคค เคชे เค•เคฐे เค˜เคฎंเคก,
เคšुเคฆी เคšुเคฆाเคˆ เคšोเคฆिเคฏे, เคœो เคฒเคชเค• เค•े เคฒेเคตे เคฒंเคก !
เคšोเคฆเคคे เคšोเคฆเคคे เคธुเคฌเคน เคนो เค—เคฏी เคฒंเคก เคชे เคชเฅœ เค—เค เค›ाเคฒे,
เคšूเคค เคซเคŸ เค•े เค—ुเคซा เคนो เค—เคฏी เคตाเคน เคฐे เคšोเคฆเคจे เคตाเคฒे !

Orgasm

Check out this great joke - Q. Why did God create the orgasm? A. So women can moan even when they’re happy.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Multibagger

๐Ÿ˜A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!

๐Ÿ˜—The husband, typically unromantic, replied, 

"I am in the toilet. Please advise!"๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜



--///---
Maruti 800 ki nilami ho rhi thi. Boli lagi ......
15 lakh
20 lakh
40 lakh
Husband: Is khataare Gadi me aisa kya hai?
Seller: Iske 23 accident hue hai, har bar sirf biwi
mari hai.
Husband: iski maa ka.......1crore....




--//---
One day , at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin tight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step.

Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn’t reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn’t reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus.

The girl turned around furiously and said, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don’t even know you!” Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma’am, after you reached around and unzipped my pants three times, I thought that we were friends.”๐Ÿ˜œ

Sindhi

Sindhi ne Shadi me Damad ko CHESS Board Gift Diya.
Damad:Ye Kya?
Sasur:Tamanna thi,Beti ko Shadi me
GHODE,
UNTH,
HATHI, Du
Aaj Meri Iccha Puri Ho Gayi ๐Ÿ˜

Birthday gift

Hubby ke Bday par Wife ne pucha-Kya Gift du?                    Hubby:-Tum mujhe pyar karo, izzat karo aur mera kehna mano...Yahi kafi hai...Wife:- (kuchh der soch ke) Nahi main to gift hi dungi ๐Ÿ˜†

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Lateral thinking

These are few questions asked in HR interview! The answers are really stunning and inspiring. Thinking out of the box! A must read...

Question 1:
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

* An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
* An old friend who once saved your life.
* The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car? 

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

He simply answered:
“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box.”

Question 2: 
What will you do if I run away with your sister? 

The candidate who was selected answered ” I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir”

Question 3:
Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) – What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant. 

Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked.

Question 4:
Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied “Tea”
He got selected.

You know how and why did he say “TEA” when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.
(Answer: The question was “What is before you (U – alphabet) Reply was “TEA” ( T – alphabet)
Alphabet “T” was before Alphabet “U”

Question5;
Interviewer said “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!” The boy thought for a while and said, “my choice is one really difficult question.”

“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. “What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, “It’s the DAY sir!”

“How” the interviewer asked,

“Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

___

Sometimes just thinking out of the box is all it takes! 
Share with your friend and give them a special moment of thinking...!!

Interview

Boss-Tumari ability?
Lady secretary-
Young hu,
Dynamic hu,
Sincere hu,
Honest hu,
Hardworking hu,
Qualified hu,
Experienced hu,
Deserving hu,
Typing janti hu,
File sahi rakhti hu,
Computer me expert hu,
Thoda accounts b janti hu,


Boss: aur kuch

Lady: Disease free aur healthy hu,
Copper T lagayi hai,
7 positions aati hai,
69 me Expert hu,
aur
Sabse Jaruri Baat k
Apne flat me akeli rehti hu...!


Boss: 
bas kar pagli, 
ab kya aaj hi promotion legi
Guess who was the boss.......   .......MONGIA;-)

Monday, July 8, 2013

Multibagger

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. 
๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

The story continues....

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased. 
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card.
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘Œ
Aisa nahi ki yeh zindagi buri hai... 
Par school life ki baat kuch aur thi! 
Aisa nhi ki ab hansi nahi aati... 
Par doston mein baith ke khilkhilane wali baat kuch aur thi! 
Aisa nahi ki ab tension se raat nahi guzarti... 
Par exams ki raaton mein jaagne wali baat kuch aur thi! 
Aisa nahi k aage aa kar kuch haasil na kiya ho... 
Par passing marks le kar party udane wali baat kuch aur thi! 
Aisa nahi ki ab zindagi nahi kat rahi hai... 
Par doston mein zindagi jeene ki baat hi kuch aur thi!
SONIA GANDHI during her speech told a story... 

"There was a father who gave 100 rupees each to his 3 sons and asked them to buy things and fill up a room completely. 

First son bought woods for Rs. 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely. 

Second son bought cotton for Rs. 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely. 

Third son bought a candle for Rs. 1 and lit it up and the room was filled with light completely." 

Kapil Sibbal added "RAHUL GANDHI is like the third son, Since the day he has taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the bright light of prosperity." 


Narendra Modi asked: 

"Woh sab toh theek hai, 
Where are the remaining Rs. 99 ?"
Terrorists enter KINGFISHER flight &
force all air hostess nude.
All girls lie down naked..
1 girl asks:Is it a Hijack or a routine Board of Directors Meeting !
Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.
"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!

There are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.
Before Marriage and After Marriage. 

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't. 

Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target...
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What Are You Doing ? 
Husband: "MISSING YOU"... 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY... 
Women are like phones: 
They like to be held, talked to and touched often.
But push the wrong button and you're disconnected.......

There are 3 kinds of men in the world: 

Some remain single & make wonders happen, 
Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen, 
The rest get married & wonder what happened! 

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man.
๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†
Banta is on hunger strike
at AMRITSAR Airport. He wants the Airport to be named as BANTACRUZ since Mumbai Airport is named after his friend as SANTACRUZ.๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›

Very true

Kudrat ki Kitna kathor vidambana .
Phoolon ka raja gulab, Kaanto me rehta
hai..!
Aur jeevan ka nirmata, Zhaato me rehta
hai...:
Jaise phooli hui roti kabhi kachchi nahi
hoti, Waise hi bra pehni hui ladki kabhi
bachchi nahi hoti.
Aur Jaise Magarmach ke aansoo Kabhi
sachche nahin hote
Waise muh mein LUND dene se bacche
nahi hote!!
Kisi buzurg BhenChod ne sahi kaha hai
Ladki ko Lavde pe bithao,
to tumse dil laga legi Aur agar Ladki ko
dil me bithao, to woh tumhare Lavde
laga degi..!!

Ghalib

Kisi ne Ghalib se kaha:"Suna h Jo Sharab Pite h Unki Dua Kabul Nahi Hoti"

Ghalib bole "Jinhe Sharab Mil Jaye... Unhe Dua Ki Zarurat Hi Nhi Hoti"!..

Multibagger

School k piche nadi me Principle Doob Raha Tha...
''Pappu''Ne Dekha Or zor zor Se Chillate Hue bhaaga..


๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‘ˆ
.

.๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

.
kal chhutti hai..
kal chhutti hai..
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
Shortest Joke :
Doctor : Howz ur headache ? 
Patient : she's out of town.:)

            ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

 Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
       (1) Mobile
       (2) Automobile
       (3) TV
       (4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Searching these keywords on Google`How to tackle wife?`

Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.

He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
      
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

And now the latest & the best of all!!

 Imagine, living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years. Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Mehangai

Agar mehangai aise hi badti rahi to 5 saal mein:

1.Dudh sirf Boobs me hoga.

2.Gas sirf Gand se niklegi.

3.Pani sirf Lund se tapkega.

4.Petrol to itna mehnga hoga ki Gand me Mirchi laga ke kam par bhagna padega.

Don

Ek baccha muskurate huye paida hua

Nurse: kyun has rahe ho..?? bache ne muthi kholi aur I-Pill ki goli nikal kar dikhai or bola..........   DON ko maarna mushkil hi nai namumkin hai!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜Ž

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Prostitute raped

Prostitute to Judge: I ve  been raped..... ๐ŸŽ“ judge to prostitute  : "So when did you realize you were raped?''


Prostitute : "When the cheque bounced...

Choot ka baal

Ek Ladke Ne Apni Girlfriend Se Ek Gift
Manga.
Girlfriend Ne Use Choot Ka Ek Baal De
Diya.
Ladka Wo Baal Le Kar Sunaar Ke Paas
Gaya Aur Kaha: “Ye Chaandi Ke Box
Mein Saja Ke Do”
Sunaar Ne Do Din Ka Time Diya.
Do Din Baad Jab Ladka Baal Lene Aaya
To Sunaar Ne Puchha: “Ye Kisi Bade
Sadhu-Sant Ka Baal Hai?”
Ladka: “Ye Sant Ka Nahi Meri Girlfriend
Ki Choot Ka Baal Hai”
Sunaar Ye Sunte Hi Gusse Se Paagal
Hoke Bola: “Behen Ke Lode, Pehle Kyun
Nahi Bataya, Hum Sab Ghar Walon Ne
3-3 Baar Dho Ke Piya Hai“

Friday, July 5, 2013

Overdose

Lady to Dr - Mere pati mujh se sex nahi karte.. 

Dr - ye lo 30 goliyan, roz ek khila dena. 
















Lady ne 1 goli di to usne us raat sex kiya. 
















Next day 2 goliyan di to usne khoob Zor se sex kiya, 
















Lady ko Bahut maja aya. 3sre din usney saari goliyan doodh me daal kar pila di 
















3 din baad Dr ne lady ko call kiya, uske bete ne uthaya, 
















Dr ne poocha mummy kaisi hain ? 
















Beta- Maa mar gayi, Chachi aur mausi hospital me hain, Kaam waali bhaag gayi, Aunti ne papa par Rape case thok diya. Meri Gaand abhi bhi dukh rahi hai, chota bhai jhaariyon me chuppa hai aur papa Nange hokar lawn me Tommy ke peechey bhaag rahey hain 
๐Ÿถ๐Ÿƒ

PATNI CHALISA


Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhri mahima koi na jani.
Humne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho.
Jis din haath me belan aawe,
us din pati khub chilawe.
Sare bed pe patni sove,
pati baith farsh par rove.
Tumse hi ghar mathura kashi,
aur tumse hi ghar satyanashi.
Patni Chalisa' jo nar gaave, sab sukh chod param dukh pave.
Bhoot pisach nazar aa jawe,
patni jab asli roop dikhawe.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Multibagger

Just received a call from a Girl in a Placement Agency:

"Sir , I 've got 2 OPENINGS......Wud U be Interested....???"

Pagli, yeh bhi koi poochne waali baat hai ?? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚



--//--
Shakespeare's Wife : What is the similarity between Woman & Alcohol?                                                          Shakespeare : Thy both have amazing qualities of giving pleasure at night & headache in the morning. :-)
LPG ki lambi line dekh kar Santa gussey me bola:"Abhi Sonia aur Manmohan ki gaand maar ke aata hun!"

Kuchh der baad wo chup chap wapas LPG line me lag gya.


--///--
Banta ne poochha:"Maar di gaand ?"

Santa:"Wahan iss'se bhi lambi line lagi hei !!"
Someone once asked me, what is your job?"
I replied, “I am my wife's sexual advisor." 
Somewhat shocked, they said "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" 
"Very simple. The wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it.

Arrested for Laughing

...!!

This is from an actual trial in the UK.
A young Woman who was several months Pregnant was sitting in a Bus.......

When she noticed a young Man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. 

She changed her Seat and He seemed more amused. 

She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more, She filed a Court case on him.

In the Court the Man's defence was:-
When the Lady boarded the bus i couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement, which read
"Coming Soon- The Unknown boon"..
I was even more amused when she then sat under a Shaving advertisement, which read:-
"William's stick did the trick"..
Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read:-
"Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident"..

The case was dismissed. The judge fell off his chair laughing!!๐Ÿ˜‰

Monday, July 1, 2013

Brake in time

A Boy and a girl were screwing on a Railway track.. The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it..
He applies brakes so hard and the trainstops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants...
The driver shouts out to the boy "Do u realize that if I had not seen u, this would have been ur last f**ck?!!!"
Boy -'Listen dude, u were coming... She was cuming.... and I was cuming.... then I realised ....only You had Brakes! ๐Ÿ˜œ

Badtameez dil - randibaaz dil

Song ki maa-behen:
Batameez Dil from Yeh Jawani Hai
Deewani.




Gaand mein gorilla dekha,
Jhaat mein nageena dekha,
Chikni chut dekhi,
Chikna se lawda dekha,
Chotte lund se randi ko choda
Toh saare bhadwe bole saale tu hai
chakka..
Pa para para...
Meri jhaat, teri jhaat,
Zyaada jhaatein buri baat...
Thaali mein katora leke,
Mutthye maare toh pata chale kiski
jeet, kiski haar!
Mere piche kisi ne ungli kiya toh,
Saala main tere muh mein ghusedo
apna tatta..
Ispe bhoot koi chadha hai
Chodna jaane naa..
Ab toh kya gora kya kaala hai,
Tharak pehchaane naa..
Lund pakad ke khaada hai kambakht,
Chodna jaane naa..
Haha..
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil,
Randibaaz dil..
Maane na, maane na...
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil,
Randibaaz dil
Maane na, maane na..
Yeh jo haal hai, sawaal hai, kamaal hai
Jaane na jaane na..
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil Randibaaz
dil
Maane naa..