Google add

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Multibagger

🐍
Santa ne 1st year ka exam diya aur usko jail ho gayi.
Kyun?
Paper mein sawaal tha ki:- Nehruji kab paida huve?
Santa ne jawaab likha:- Jab unki maa chudi.
--------------------------------------------------
Sardar ne railway reservation form me Ling ke samne likha - 8 inch.
Lady clerk - ye kya hae? kato ise
Sardar: kitna?
Lady: pura
Sardar - Maa chudao, Bus se chala jaunga😜
--------------------------------------------------
A journalist to Osho :
Do U know what all men & women R Doing in Ur Ashram?
Osho: Mere ko kya?
Journalist: Lekin ye to Aapka Ashram hai.
Osho:Fir bhosdike tere ko kya.
----------------------------------------------------
A middle-aged lady, in short clothes, to Santa in office, "Am I looking young in this new outfit?"
Santa: Take this also off, you'll look like a new-born!
----------------------------------------------------
Bhakt,Nirmal baba se bola - Baba har saal bachha paida ho jaata hai, kya karu?

Baba-Condom use karte Ho.

Bhakt- karta Hu.

Baba-Condom mohalle me baant do, kripa wahi se aa rahi hai.
---------------------------------------------------
Viagra ki 5 goli khakar 2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath karne ke baad...

Santa bola: "Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi"

GF: "Kyun? Kahin ja rahe ho kya?"

Santa: "Nahi janu, Ab palat jao"..

--------------------------------------------------

Husband apne sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye..


Biwi: Nahi hum papa ke ghar hai..


Hus:To kya mere BAAP ka ghar Randikhana hai jo roz taiyar ho jati hai...!
--------------------------------------------
BABA RAMDEV: beta apne se badi nari ko ma,barabar wali ko bahan or choti ko beti mana karo.

BHAKT:to baba ye lund aap hi rakh lo Jadi Buti kootne ke kam ayega
--------------------------------------------
Suhag raat mein.
BUILDER: Tere hoth Duplex jaise hain, figure Landscape Garden ki tarah hai.
WIFE: Ab Bhumi-Pujan bhi karoge ya mazdoor bulaun.
--------------------------------------------
Baba Sex ki Goli Bech Raha Tha
1 Goli Lega 1 Feet Lamba
2 Goli Lega 2 Feet Lamba
SARDAR
Baba 10 Goli Lu To?

BABA
madar chod Ladki Chodega Ya Borewell khodega.....

Multibagger

Doctor : Roz 5km walk karo, to 1 sal me 50kg wajan kum ho jayega..
1 sal bad santa pho ne pe:
Wajan to kam ho gaya,
magar saale ghar kaise jau 1825km door aa gaya hu
------------------------------

Santa aur Banta 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye

Santa: Chal Suicide kar le

Banta: Saaleya Pagal Ho Gaya Hai,
Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru karna payega
----------------------------
Doctor: Do exercise daily for
good health.
Santa: Sir i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: how long do you play?
Santa: until d battery in my mobile goes down!!
Thot of d day,,,,,,,,
Aadmi honest hona chahiye kyuki smart toh phone bhi hote hai.😜

Monday, April 29, 2013

Multibagger

Mallika sherawat ghode par baithi.......
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..
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.
ghode waala!!!!!!! madam lagta hai ghoda bahut kush hai........:)

.
.
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.
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Mallika
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.
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.GHODA HO YA LODA....MERI DO TAANGO KE BEECH JO BHI AATA HAI WOH KHUSH HI REHTA HAI...........


-/////--
Miya Galib garibi se tang aakar Daaku Ban gaye.

Daketi karne ek bank gaye aur kaha,

Arz hai,

Takdir mein jo hai wahi Milega,
Hands Up madarchodoΓ± koi apni jagah se nahi hilega..

Fir Cashier se kaha..
kuch khwab meri aankho se nikaal de,
Jo kuch bhi hai bhosdike, jaldi se iss bag mein daal de..

Bohot koshish karta hoon uski yaad bhulaane ki,
tumhari maa ka bhosda, koi koshish na karna police bulaane ki..

Bhula de mujko kya jaata hai tera,
Main maa chod dunga uski, jo kisi ne peechha kiya mera.......


----------------------/////
Girl BoyFriend ki Underwear dekh ke : Tum local pehnte ho, Branded Nai,

Boy :
Jaat na pucho Sadhu
ki,
Puchh Lijiye Gyan,

Mol karo Talwar ka,

bhaad me jaaye Myaan


///-------/------
College Mein Ek Professor Bhooto Ke Baare Mein Bachhon Ko Lecture De Raha Tha, Aur Hall Mein Keval Ladke Hi Aaye Hue The.

Lecture Ke Beech Mein Professor Ne Puchha: “Kitne Bachhe Bhoot Mein Yakeen Karte Hai?”

Kareeb 50 Bachho Ke Haath Khade Ho Gaye.

Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Ab Ye Batao Ki Kitne Logo Ne Bhoot Ko Dekha Hai?”

Lagbag 20 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.

Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Achha Ab Ye Baatao Ki Bhoot Ko Kitne Logo Ne Bahut Kareeb Se Dekha Hai?”

Lagbhag 5 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.

Professor: “Shabash, Achha Ab Ye Batao Kitne Logon Ne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai?”

Keval Ek Ladke Ka Haath Khada Hua Aur Wo Apna Pappu Tha.

Professor: “Maine Aaj Tak Khud Nahi Suna Ki Kisi Ne Aisa Kiya Ho, Aap Idhar Mere Paas Stage Par Aa Jaao”

Pappu Uth Kar Professor Ke Paas Chala Gaya.

Professor: “To Aapka Kahna Hai Ki Aapne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai, Jara Baat Puri Detail Mein Batao”

Pappu: “Ohh Sorry Sir, Maine Choot Suna Tha“

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Doctor sardar

Ek Baar Ek Aadmi Ped Se Ghir Jata Hai Aur Uska Haath Toot Jata Hai
Gaanv Wale Usko Kahte Hai Ki Shahar Mein Jaa Vaha Santa Hai Jo Gaanv Se Hi Gaya Hai Bahut Bada Doctor Ban Gaya Hai
Gaanv Wale Usko Leke Shahar Pahunch Jaate Hai, Aadmi Santa Se Bolta Hai

Aadmi: Dr. Saab Main Ped Pe Chad Raha Thha, Dali Toot Gayi Aur Niche Girney Se Haath Toot Gaya?
Santa: Thik Hai Pant Utar Aur Samne Wale Bench Pe Ulta Ho Ke Let Ja?
Aadmi Gabra Jata Hai Aur Puchta Hai
Aadmi: Dr Saab Mera Haath Tuta Hai Pant Utarva Ke Kya Karoge??
Santa Gusse Se: Madhar Chod, Pahle Jo Teri Gaand Mein Keeda Hai Usko Nikalunga Taki Tu Dobara Ped Pe Na Chadd Sake?

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Pathan ka beta Bush



Ek pathan ne apne bete ka naam BUSH rakh dia logo ne kaha apne dushman ka nam kiyn rakha?
Pathan bola taake sab ko pata chale k hum roz BUSH ki maa chodte hein.

Arz kiya hai

Arz kiya hai..
Nangi Nangi pussy me penis fisal gaya

Gaur farmaiye....
Nangi Nangi pussy me penis fisal gaya






Aur Dono Gotiya pareshan, Saala "Ustaad kidhar gaya?"

Friday, April 26, 2013

Confession

Boy in Church : I have sinned.
Father : What's it my son?
Boy : Father, I slept with
Married Woman
Father : I get such confessions
often, was it
Suzy from Gary Apartment?
Boy : No Father?
Father : Mona from Palm
Garden?
Boy : No
Father : Rachel from Vila
Building?
Boy runs out of the church &
meets his
friends.
Friends : Did you confess?
Boy : No, but i have got some
SOLID
LIST ...
Moral:
Boys will always be Boys. xD

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Husband wife aur dost

Hsbnd & Wife Sex Kar rahe the,kisi ne bell bajayi.hsbnd ne 5 mint. baad door khola.
Dost-der kyo laga di?
Hsbnd-hum Chatni koot rahe the.
Shrarati Dost-Bhabhi hume bhi Chatni Chtao na.Hoshiyar Bhabhi-Maine to brtan dho liya hai,πŸ— dande par lagi hogi,Chat loπŸŽ­πŸ‘ŒπŸ’ƒ

Husband wife aur dost

Hsbnd & Wife Sex Kar rahe the,kisi ne bell bajayi.hsbnd ne 5 mint. baad door khola.
Dost-der kyo laga di?
Hsbnd-hum Chatni koot rahe the.
Shrarati Dost-Bhabhi hume bhi Chatni Chtao na.Hoshiyar Bhabhi-Maine to brtan dho liya hai,πŸ— dande par lagi hogi,Chat loπŸŽ­πŸ‘ŒπŸ’ƒ

Monday, April 22, 2013

Muthal


Meray Hathon ki Lakiron ko Us Nay ßarray Ghor §y Daikha…

Pehle Roi, Phir Hansi, Phir Dheray §y Wo ßoli
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.

“MUTHAL”

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Sexual facts

#...Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself..
Moral: In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.

#...Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

#...What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!

#...3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

#...Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.

#...Practical thought:
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..???

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Future Sentence



Teacher: Pappu ne dupeher ko khoobsurat larki dekhi. Iss ka future tense batao?

Student: Pappu raat ko mutth maarey ga.

The Ultimate punjabi

:
In Eng exam, Santa made sentences of Given WORDS as:

1. WHAT - Sita ko Ram ke saath dekh kar Pappu ke mathay par WHAT par gaye.

2. KILL - Sonu ne deewar par KILL thoak k tasveer tang di.

3. DIG - Paon phisal janay ki wajah se Ramu farsh pe DIG gaya.

4. MY - Hum ne ghar ke kaam ke liye ek MY rakhi hui hai.

5. PUT: Kal Santa ne plant PUT ditta πŸ˜„

SIX GOLDEN RULES For F***ing:

SIX GOLDEN RULES For F***ing:

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body....

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After F***ing dont eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. Try to do f***ing in bed cause it can save your valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholestrol level.

SO, REMEMBER .. FASTING is good for your health. May God cleanse your Dirty Mind !!! 😝😝

Friday, April 19, 2013

Medical entrance exam

Sardar giving Medical Entrance Exam writes the meaning of the following :-
Artery : Study of Fine Paintings.
Genes : Best by Levi's.
Hymen : Greeting to Several Males.
Labour Pain: Hurt at Work.
Liposuction: French kiss.
Microbes : Small dressing Gowns.
Cardiology : Advanced study of Playing Cards.
Cat Scan : Searching for Lost Cat.
Coma : Punctuation Mark.
Bacteria : Back Door to a Cafeteria.😜

Wah Wah

Chicken Aise Pakao Ke Kacha Na Ho,

Wah Wah….

Chicken Aise Pakao Ke Kaccha Na Ho,

Aur Mohabbat Aise Nibhao Ke Bacha Na Ho.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Wife's Day

Santa buys a new tempo truck for his transport business in his wifeks name. He then paints her name on both side Doors. He goes home rushes in excitedly for Jasmeet and holers to bring some flowers, gur shakkar and a coconut for the Tempo's inauguration. As the wife approaches closer she reads the display on the right side's door, turns around and slaps Santa really hard on his cheek ... He had painted:- jaswinder kaur for hire full day Rs. 600/- night charges extra .. πŸ˜πŸ‘


--//////-//
Today is WIFE DAY!
Always Love Wife.
No Life without wife.
Remain Loyal & Faithful 2Wife.
Keep Wife Happy & Satisfied.
Never mind "Whose Wife"
Happy Wife Day

---////--

Poori Ramayan biwiyo ki kahani hai!

LAXMAN apni biwi ko ghar pe chhodkar chala aaya...

RAAVAN doosre ki utha ke phas gaya...

Sugreev ne RAM ka saath is liye diya kyo ki use apni biwi Bali se wapis chaahiye thi...

HANUMAN ki apni thi hi nahi magar doosre ki dhoondhne ke chakkar me LANKA jalaa daali...

RAM ko apni waapis chaahiye thi to use 10 din tak yuddh karna pada, aur end me kya hua??

jis biwi ke kaaran itni RAMAYAN hui wo to underground ho gayi.

Abhi socho itna jhamela hua kyo??

Kyo ki DASHRATH ki 3 biwiya thi!!

MORAL: Puraane zamaane se hi biwi ki magajmaari chali aa rahi hai. Jab bhagwaan hi biwi se nahi bach sake to AAP to aakhir insaan hai....πŸ˜„
♻Qudrat NeπŸ‘©Aurat ko πŸ’«Haseen Banaya
:
πŸ‘©Khubsurti di
:
πŸŒ™Chand saπŸ‘©chehra diya
:
🐐Hirni siπŸ‘€Ankhein
:
🐧Morni jaisay🐾Chaal
:
〰Resham seπŸ’†Baal
:
🌊Koel jaisi✨Methee πŸ‘„awaz di
:
πŸ’Phool cπŸ‘Όmasoomiat di
:
🌹Gulab seπŸ’‹Hont
:
πŸπŸ’§Shehad c✨mitas di
:
πŸ’žPyar Bhra❤Dil Dia
:
πŸ’¬Phir
?
?
?
πŸ‘…ZUBAN Di
✌aur
πŸ™ŒSabπŸ‘ŽSatyaπŸ™…Naas Ho gaya🎯
:
πŸ”ƒHar♻waqt
🐸Tr
🐸Trr
🐸Trrr ......πŸ˜›πŸ˜œπŸ˜

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Phone call

A husband & wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it a "phone call" so that kids will not decode... One day they had a fight and the wife stopped talking to the husband and they were talking to each other through their kids. The husband said to the son :"tell your mum daddy wants to make a phone call" Mother replies "tell your dad the network is down today" Daddy replies;"tell your mom that if there is no network at home I will go to a public phone" Mother to her son ;"Tell your daddy if he dare goes to a public phone, I will open a call centre at home!!


---//--///_\___\___

Mother to Son: Tipu sultan kaun hain ?
Son : Pata Nahi 😏
Mother : Padai pe dhyan do πŸ‘€
Son to Mother : Tina aunty kaun hain?
Mother : Pata Nahi.
Son : Papa pe Dhyan do πŸ˜πŸ˜„

Reckless Sardar

A Sardar was caught by police.

Police: How did you kill 20 people?

Sardar: Main gaadi tez chala raha tha par jab maine brake lagaya, toh pata laga ki brake fail ho gaya hain.
Phir main ne samne dekha toh ek taraf 2 aadmi ja rahe the aur dusri taraf 1 barat ja rahi thi. Ab tum batao main gaadi kidhar modta?

Police: Of course, jis taraf 2 admi the. Nuksaan kam hota.

Sardar: Exactly............................................................................................................................................................................................ Maine bhi yahi socha tha par woh 2 aadmi meri gaadi dekh kar barat me ghus gaye..!!πŸ‘³πŸ˜€πŸ˜†

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Friends

A Friend Is Like A Panty - Always Comfortable

A Good Friend Is Like A Bra - Always Supportive

Best Friend Is Like A Condom - Always Protective

Monday, April 15, 2013

Abba ne Dekha

BETA: Amma Jldi Se Kahin Chup Jao

AMAA: Beta Q Chup Jao’n?

BETA: Me Cigerate Pee Raha Tha, Abba Ne Dekh Lia Aur Kaha k Tu Ghar Chal Teri Maa Chodta Hon :-)

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Seductive shaayari

:
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Mangta hun to deti nahi ho,
Jawaab meri baat ka..!! :P
.
Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,
Rom-Rom jazbat ka.. :O
.
Muuh me lena tumhe pasand
nahi,
Ek bhi qatra sharab ka..
.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se
daalo,
Balon mein phool gulab ka ?
.
Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,
Intezaar uske jawab ka..
.
Abhi uske haath mei rakha hi tha
ke usne pakad liya,
Guldasta Gulab ka..
.
Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aaGe se
karo,
Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab
ka.. ;)
.
Usne kaha bada maza aata hai
jab andar jata hai..
Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar
ka..!! ;)




--//---------/-/----
Most confusing double meaning jokes...

DHABE Pe PATI Ne 1 BANANA SHAKE & PATNI Ne 2 mosambi juice Piye.
Counter Pe Payment K Time WAITER Ne AAWAZ Di-BHAIYA Ka 1 KELA Aur BHABHI Ka 2 Mosambi Kaat lena.:)

South indian jokes

How wud a South Indian woman say 'I laughed yesterday' in Hindi
.
.
.
.

'Michael Hussey'. πŸ˜‚


---/--//---/://
Frustrated Rajnikant posted on Twitter:

"Saalo, ek hadd hoti hai..yeh kaun likh raha hai ki Rajinikanth ne apne maa baap ko paida kiya ?


-//---/----
"Generation Gap"

Pintu told his Dad that he wants an Apple or a Blackberry..

Father replied...

Kinnoo da season ae puttar, kinnoo kha kinnoo !!!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Dirty poem

Khulam khula hum tera balatkar karenge

Teri izat ko sub k samne tar tar karenge

Tail laga k pehle tujko tayar karenge

Phir unglian de k tujko beqarar krenge

Lun pe apne tujko swar karenge

Phir apne lun ko tere aar par krenge

Kabi andr kabi bahr kr k mazedar krenge

Ye kaam hum her itwar krenge

Chod chod k tujko maldar krenge

Jab paisay na huay to udhar krenge

Agar bura laga tjko to kbi kbar krenge

Agar teri adat bun gae to bar bar krenge

Tiinggtonggg Bhenchod Tinggtong

Santa and ladki sex kar rahe the..

Achanak ladki ka husband aa gaya..
Ladki ne santa ko cupboard mei chhupa dia but uski gotiyan darwaze ke bahar reh gaye..

Husband: ye kya hai.?

Wife: ye maine nayi bell lagwayi hai.

Husband ne hila kar dekha, koi aawaj ni aayi, zor se hilaya phir bhi koi aawaj nahi ayi.
Phir usne zor se mukka mara to Santa cupboard se bahar akar rote hue bola...

Tiinggtonggg Bhenchod Tinggtong ...

Friday, April 12, 2013

Multibagger

Call girl ne Arz kiya.
" Dheere- Dheere karo Sanam, Mandi ka Zamana he, Is Chhoti Si JAGAH Se, Zindgi Bhar Kamana hai...
,,, (",))
(';')__//\\
_/_/<<))-((

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Pehli Baar Sex Karane K Baad Ladki Dick ko choom k Boli:
Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,
'COKE' 'PEPSI'
Sab Bakwas
"MARD Ki LASSI"
Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Suhagrat me puri koshish k bawjud Dick ghusa nahi
SARDAR: Tuje pehle kisine nahi KIYA?
SARDARNI: gaali dete hue.....,Jisne b KIYA
Meri chaddi utaar k KIYA.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sex k dauran amir Girl apne Garib premi se: Tumhra itna bada kaise?
Premi emotional hote hue: Garibi k karan bachpan me mere pas aur koi khilona nhi tha....

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

PATI Suhagraat Pe PATNI K Nipple Chuste Huve:
Tumhare Nipples Kitne Narm Garm or Sharbati hai"

PATNI (sharmate huye) :
Pata nahi ji
Jitne Muh
Utni Baatein"...
πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sardar jokes

2 Sardars bank lootne gaye,
Par gun bhool gaye…
Phir bhi bank loot liya
Kaise???
Bank Manager bhi sardar tha. Bola
“I trust you, gun kal dikha dena”
=================
Santa ko koi mobile pe tangh karta tha
Santa ne new sim card kharid kar tang karnewalle ko sms kiya
“Mene woh sim band kar diya hai, ab tu toh kya tera baap bhi mujhe tangh nahin kar sakta!"
------------------------------------------------Santa: Is mirror ki kya guarantee hai:
Shopkeeper: Aap isse 100 floor se niche girao, ye mirror 99 floor tak nahin tutega
Sardar: Wah!! Pack it..
=================
Sardarni: Lo, light chale gayee
Sardar: Light chali gayee toh kya, fan chalu kar
Sardarni: Lo, kee na wahi sardaron-waali baat,
Agar fan chalu kiya toh mombatti bhuj nahin jayegi?
================
Postman :- Oye Paapey ! Pata hai muje yeh packet deliver karne k liye 5 meel chalna pada.
Sardarji :- Kyun? Aap courier kar dete........
=================
NASA ne 3 sardaron ko chand pe bheja.
Rocket uda magar aadhe raaste se vaapas aaya.
Unko kaaran pucha gaya toh boley: Aaj amaaswas hai, chand to nahi
hoga.......
=================
Foreigner-"In India, do you guys call your wives HONEY in your native language?"
Indian- "oh no. we call them Bee-Bee, they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

NIKAAH & JANAAZA

You will love this reality of life...



NIKAAH & JANAAZA........



The difference between a wedding and a funeral ! (FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA)


Teri doli uthi,
Meri mayyat uthi,
Phool tujh par bhi barse,
Phool mujh par bhi barse,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tu saj gayi,
Mujhe sajaya gaya.

Tu bhi ghar ko chali,
Main bi ghar ko chala,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tu uth ke gayi,
Mujhe uthaya gaya.

Mehfil wahan bhi thi,
Log yahan bhi the,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Unka hasna wahan,
Inka rona yahan.

Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi tha,
Do bol tere pade, Do bol mere pade,
Tera NIKKAH pada, Mera JANAAZA pada,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tujhe APNAYA gaya,
Mujhe DAFNAYA gaya

Monday, April 8, 2013

Hilarious ONE liners -



πŸ‘‰ If u don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

πŸ‘‰ Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.

πŸ‘‰ Squirrel who runs up woman's leg does not find nuts.

πŸ‘‰ Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.

πŸ‘‰ Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.

πŸ‘‰ If U think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.

πŸ‘‰ What matters is not the length of the Wand, but the magic it the stick.

πŸ‘‰ Getting married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

Teri bari hai…


Shair arz ha..!
Jabse uski mari ha.
Wah Wah

Jabse uski mari ha,
Khoon us ka jaari hai.
Tu chup kar k soja gandu…
kal raat ko@ teri bari hai..x-)

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Ankhen masalna

Teacher:
Batao jab subah larkiyan so k uthti hain to ankhain kyun masalti hain?

Bacha:
Miss kyon k un k pass tattay nahi hotay

Pintu ki maa ki chudai

Ek pati patni ko sex karna tha .. Unhone unke 5 saal ke bete ko bola " beta balcony me khade ho jaa aur coloney me kya chal raha hai wo dek ke batata reh"

Beta shru ho gaya -
"sharma ji subji laa rahe hai,
verma ji scooter start kar rahe hai,
bacche cricket khel rahe hai,
shukla ji unki dukan sambhal rahe hai,
pintu ki maa chud rahi hai.."

Baap: " tujhe kaise pata..?"

Beta: " wo bi balcony me khada hai "
Girl goes to a shoe store





--/--/---//-
Girl:bhaiya 34 numbr size ki sandal dikhana
.
Shopkeeper: Mam dimag par zor dal k yad kijiye aap ghar se kharidne kya nikli thi..

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Diff between potty & cricket

. Potty aur cricket mein kya
similarity hai?
.
.
.socho socho
.
.
.
.
.
Dhoni yahan bhi hai...dhoni
wahan bhi hai
😝

Friday, April 5, 2013

Shadi ke Baad


3Girls shadi k bad mili
1 girl:Mere wo to fnger bhi dalte hai
2 girl:Mere wo to pora hath hi dal dete hai.
3 girl:Apni taangain phela kar boli,
Zara bahar ana.

Killer Analysis

: ....

When you YAWN, and the person sitting next to you also YAWNS... . ..

That means, Aap dono k beech YAWN SAMBANDH hai...!!;)
πŸ˜ƒ

--//--////
Naked Female bike rally was held in UK
& USA on Saturday for
environment awareness. Hamare yaha to kisi ko environment ki chinta hi nahi hai.....😑



-////-//-
A woman was having sex in an apartment 20 floors high with another man. She then heard her husband coming.. She told her lover to stay like robot and not to move.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: This is a robot i bought to have sex with when you are traveling...

Husband: Okay.. Lets have sex now...

Wife: No sweetheart.. Yesterday i got my period, so i will go and make a cup of coffee for you..

After she left the husband said: Damn i am so horny, i will fuck this robot...

He tried fucking. The man started talking in a metallic robotic way..

"System error
Wrong hole
System error
Wrong hole.."

Husband: Damn robot is not working properly.. I am throwing it out of the window..

The lover realized that he was on the 20th floor he said:
"SOFTWARE UPDATED"
"PLEASE TRY AGAIN"

Moral of d story :waqt bura ho toh gaand marwani padti hai


--/---/--
The Bank sends sardar a mail written...
"Your payments are outstanding"

Sardar replies...
"Thanks for the compliment.



-/:------------:
Peter: Your secretary is very sexy...! Tony: Thanks! It's a robot actually, named " Maria " If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters!

I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions....

Next day.............!!!! Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: You bastard! You didn't tell me that the ''' HOLE ''' between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener..;)😜


Good bye daddy

A Father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said,
"I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me.
.
.
.
.
This morning my boss Suddenly had a severe heart attack and he died in the middle of a meeting. 😱

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Dhassu Breakup..


.
A boy threw 6 cricket 🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾 balls on his girl friend..
.
GF: "wat the hell was that?"😑
.
BOY: "its over"....!🎾 πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚