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Friday, January 31, 2014

Two friends sitting in a boring lecture...
1st friend: It's so boring, even my bums have fallen asleep
2nd friend: Ya!!! I heard them snoring twice๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Thursday, January 30, 2014

U will die laughing...

A guy decides 2 buy his Girlfriend a pair of gloves 4 christmas.

A small gift as they have known each other for a little time and he noticed that her hands used to freeze during driving.
 
He decided to get romantic but not too personal.

He asked his GF's sister to help him in selection & hand size.

He picked up a pair of white gloves in the store. The sister gets a pair of panties for herself. 

During wrapping, the Salesgirl inadvertently mixed the gifts.

Without checking, the guy gifts the Panties to his Girlfriend with a note, saying:

"Merry Christmas, I chose this, bcoz i notice u do not wear these when v go out.

I would've chosen long ones but ur sister wears short ones, which r easy to remove.

I checked it out on the Salesgirl as well & she looked really Beautiful.

I wish, i was there to put it for u for d first time. 

When u take them off, remember to blow inside as there will be a damp spot naturally   wearing it.

Jus think how many times I'll kiss that in d upcoming years.

With Lots n Lots of Love...


The guy still doesnt know why she broke up ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
Mirchi Muuh k alaawa or kaha lagti
hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kheton me lagti hai Mere Bhai
Hamesha Apni Gand Ke bareme hi kyu
Sochte
ho yaar ?

Mirchi Muuh k alaawa or kaha lagti
hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Kheton me lagti hai Mere Bhai
Hamesha Apni Gand Ke bareme hi kyu
Sochte
ho yaar ?

#sneha

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Mirchi Muuh k alaawa or kaha lagti
hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.






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Kheton me lagti hai Mere Bhai
Hamesha Apni Gand Ke bareme hi kyu
Sochte
ho yaar ?

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Mangta hun to deti nahi ho,
Jawaab meri baat ka.
Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,
Rom-Rom jazbat ka.
Muuh me lena tumhe pasand nahi,
Ek bhi qatra sharab ka.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se daalo,
Balon mein phool gulab ka?
Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,
Intezaar uske jawab ka.
Abhi uske haath mei rakha hi tha ke usne pakad liya,
Guldasta Gulabon ka.
Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aaGe se karo,
Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab ka.
Usne kaha bada maza aata hai jab andar jata hai,
Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar ka.
U will die laughing...

A guy decides 2 buy his Girlfriend a pair of gloves 4 christmas.

A small gift as they have known each other for a little time and he noticed that her hands used to freeze during driving.
 
He decided to get romantic but not too personal.

He asked his GF's sister to help him in selection & hand size.

He picked up a pair of white gloves in the store. The sister gets a pair of panties for herself. 

During wrapping, the Salesgirl inadvertently mixed the gifts.

Without checking, the guy gifts the Panties to his Girlfriend with a note, saying:

"Merry Christmas, I chose this, bcoz i notice u do not wear these when v go out.

I would've chosen long ones but ur sister wears short ones, which r easy to remove.

I checked it out on the Salesgirl as well & she looked really Beautiful.

I wish, i was there to put it for u for d first time. 

When u take them off, remember to blow inside as there will be a damp spot naturally   wearing it.

Jus think how many times I'll kiss that in d upcoming years.

With Lots n Lots of Love...


The guy still doesnt know why she broke up ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
Kamasutra has added a new position called
'Manmohan'

You get on top and do nothing!

Monday, January 27, 2014

Even a Short Walk is so difficult 
When no one walks with you..

But a long journey ends in few steps

When








A Street Dog runs Behind you...๐Ÿ˜‚

Har waqt... har msg... touching ya Senti. nahi hota...!!!
Bhaiya went to open Bank Account

Officer- Whats your Name?
Bhaiya - Pankaj Tiwari

Officer - Provide us your PAN Details. 

Bhaiya -120/300, Banarasi, halka Chuna, double Kattha, Navratan kimaam , Kachi pakki Supari, long - ilaychi aur tanik hari patti
๐Ÿ˜‚
Sardaar juice wale se :-

Jaldi se juice de ladai hone wali hai...

ek glass pine ke baad,,,ek glass aur de

ladai hone wali hai.....

woh bhi pene ke baad,,,,,,,,ek glass aur de jaldi ladai hone wali hai,,....

juice wala :- kab hogi ladai.....????

Sardaar :- Jab tu paise mangegaa......๐Ÿ˜=)) =)) =))

Sunday, January 26, 2014

MUST READ..!

...though some facts you may be already knowing about INDIANS |
1. 38% of doctors in America are INDIANS.
2. 12% of the scientist in America are INDIANS.
3. 28% of the IBM employees in the world are INDIANS.
4. 36% of the NASA employees are INDIANS.
5. 17% of the INTEL employees in the world are INDIANS.
6. 34% of the MICROSOFT employees are INDIANS.
7. Sanskrit is the mother language of all the European languages. WHICH MEANS SWEDISH TOO.
8. SANSKRIT is most suitable language for computer software reported in Forbes magazine, 1987.
9. CHESS was invented in INDIA.
10. Creator and founder of HOTMAIL is INDIAN (SABEER BHATIA).
11. Aryabhatta who was from INDIA, invented the number ZERO.
12. INDIANS invented the NUMBER SYSTEM.
13. ALGEBRA was invented in INDIA.
14. CALCULAS and TRIGNOMETRY came from INDIA.
15. The general manager of HEWLETT PACKARD (HP) is INDIAN (RAJIV GUPTA).
16. Creator of the PENTIUM CHIP(90% of the today's Computer runs on it) is INDIAN (VINOD DAHM).
17. BHUDHYANA first calculated the value of pi (3.14), and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean theorem. he discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians.
18. We have almost 5600 different newspapers and 3500 different magazines with approximately 120 million readers every day.
19. SUSHRUTA (from india) is the father of SURGERY. 2600 year ago he and health scientist of his time conducted complicated surgeries like --> artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery
20. LAXMI MITTAL (steel king) is the richest man in ENGLAND. His house in England is the most expensive house in the world, more than 70 million pounds.
21. ALBERT EINSTEIN once said:- We own a lot to the INDIANS,who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific have been made.
22. INDIA has the THIRD largest army in the world with more than 105 million men.....
I'm Proud To Be An Indian...) |
Happy republic day to All Indains.
|Jai Hind |

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Husband: My Wife is a strong believer of Vastu-Shastra!

Friend: Great, does she practice that?

Husband: Oh-Yeah... Whenever we have a fight, She lifts whichever 'Vastu' is around and uses it like a 'Shastra' !!! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†
 …๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ“บ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”ฆ๐Ÿ”“☕๐Ÿด๐Ÿง๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”ฉ๐Ÿ”ง๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ‘ž๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿ‘’๐ŸŒ‚⏰☎๐ŸŽฅ๐Ÿ“ฆ๐Ÿ““✂๐ŸŽป๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ“Ÿ

Friday, January 24, 2014

East or west sardar is the best.

*Sugar Test* *
Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
 
* * Sardars and scooter* *
Three Sardars were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his hand.
 
One of the Sardars told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space.
 
* * Lion and Sardars* *
Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand "
 
* * Cyclone* *
Bank manager asks Sardar in an interview: "What is cyclone"
Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"
 
* * Side Effects* *

Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why?
He wanted to avoid side effects! 
 
* *Advice* *
A famous Sardar's declaration to the media: "I will never marry in my
life. And I will advise the same to my children too"
 
* * Oxygen* *v
Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Sardar: Thank God!!   was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...
 
* * Skeleton* *
Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Laugh for sometime and make others laugh too in the busy schedule of life
Ahmad Bhai is a virile middle aged Indian....

One afternoon he was lounging at his favourite bar  when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.

Things rapidly progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he proceeded to rattle her senseless, the love making was sensational.

After a brief rest and a phenomenal recovery, Ahmad Bhai asked: "So, you finish....??"

She paused for a second, frowned  & replied, "NO....."

Surprised & a bit hurt Ahmad Bhai grabbed her and the rattling resumed.

This time she thrashed about wildly & there were screams of passion. The sex was Olympian but  as always it had to end.

Again, Ahmad Bhai  smiled & asked:
"You finish....????"

Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly whispered, "NO."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this hot woman unsatisfied, Ahmad Bhai reached for the woman yet again.

Calling on the last of his virility, Ahmad Bhai barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Ahmad Bhai fell onto his back, gasping, barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, "You finish ?"
Barely able to speak herself, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear..."No, I Swedish....."
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognised Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?' 

God said, 'Ah, yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur , 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention !
1 There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension 

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than your invention. ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜ฃ
Arz kiya jai.....gaurr farrmaiye
Lamha-Lamha waqt guzar jayega,
Kuch hii dino mein 'VALENTINE DAY'  aa jayega,
Abhi bhi tym hai kisi se 'AFFAIR' kar lo,
Varna yeh valentine bhi 'PATI' ke saath hii guzar jayega !!!!!
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Thursday, January 23, 2014

A man takes his seat at a FIFA World Cup Final.

He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat betwen himself & the next guy.


Man: "Who on Earth would miss a FIFA World Cup Final?" 


Guy: "That was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away." 


Man: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family 
member, friend or 
someone else with you?"


Guy: "No, they are all at the Funeral" !

๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

เคจौเค•เคฐ: เคธाเคนเคฌ, เค†เคชเค•े เค•िเคธी เค–़ाเคธ เคฆोเคธ्เคค
เค•ा เคซोเคจ เค†เคฏा เคฅा।
เคฎाเคฒिเค•: เคคुเคे เค•ैเคธे เคชเคคा เค•ि เคตो เคฎेเคฐा เค–़ाเคธ เคฆोเคธ्เคค
เคนै?
เคจौเค•เคฐ: เคตो เคชूเค› เคฐเคนा เคฅा เค•ि 'เค—ांเคกू' เค•เคนाँ เคนै?๐Ÿ˜

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

เคเค• เคฌाเคฐ เคชเคคि-เคชเคค्เคจी เค•े เคฌीเคš เคฎें เคฌเคš्เคšे เค•ो เคฒेเค•เคฐ เคฌเคนเคธ เคนो เค—เคฏी।
เคฆोเคจों เค‡เคธ เคฌाเคค เคชे เคเค—เคก़ เคฐเคนे เคฅे เค•ी เค‰เคจเค•ा เคฒเคก़เค•ा เค•िเคธ เคธे เคœ्เคฏाเคฆा เคช्เคฏाเคฐ เค•เคฐเคคा เคนै, เคฎाँ เคธे เคฏा เคฌाเคช เคธे।
เค†เค–िเคฐ เคฆोเคจों เคจे เคซैเคธเคฒा เค•เคฐा เค•ि, เคตो เคชीเค›े เคธे เคฌเคš्เคšे เคชे เคเค• เคชเคค्เคฅเคฐ เคซेंเค•ेंเค—े।
เค…เค—เคฐ เคตो เคšिเคฒ्เคฒाเคฏा "เคนाเคฏ เคฎเคฎ्เคฎी" เคคो เคฎाँ เค•ी เคœीเคค เคนोเค—ी।
เค”เคฐ เค…เค—เคฐ เคตो เคšिเคฒ्เคฒाเคฏा "เคนाเคฏ เคชाเคชा" เคคो เคฌाเคช เค•ी เคœीเคค เคนोเค—ी।
เค‰เคจ्เคนोंเคจे เคชेเคก़ เค•े เคชीเค›े เค›ुเคช เค•เคฐ เคชाเคฐ्เค• เคฎें เคฌैเค े เคฌเคš्เคšे เค•ो เคเค• เคชเคค्เคฅเคฐ เคฎाเคฐा।
เคฌเคš्เคšा เคšिเคฒ्เคฒा เค•เคฐ เคฌोเคฒा, "เค•ौเคจ เคฌเคนเคจ เค•ा เคฒौเคก़ा เค…เคชเคจी เคฎाँ เคšुเคฆा เคฐเคนा เคนै เคฌे?"๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Monday, January 20, 2014

Uss Ne Hothon Se Chhu Kar L*wde Pe Nasha Kar Diya;

L*nd Ki Baat To Aur Thi, 

Uss Ne To,,

Jhaton Ko Bhi Khada Kar Diya!

Desi Girls & Bold Ladkiyan Desi & Sexy Girls
D0UBLE MEANING ki limit:
Dad apne bete pappu ka result lene school gaye.
Dad:Madam, kab dogi? kafi der se mera Pappu KHADA hai.
Madam: Period to khatam hone do ๐Ÿ˜„
BF: Kal Tumhare Ghar Gaya Tha.
Mujhe Nahi Lagta Hamari Shadi
Hogi...!
GF: Kyu...?? Papa Se Mile??
BF: Nahi... Tumhari Behen Se Mila...
Solid Hai... ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Guy- I Love u.Gal : Are you mad .....I m Married. I have a Husband..... I have a Boy friend in my office and my ex boyfriend is still my neighbour....My boss proposed me yesterday and i cant say NO to him....& have one Serious Extra Marital Affair.....Guy (after a longggggggg pause)-"Pls Dekhle yaar...agar main bhi kahin adjust ho jau..."๐Ÿ˜

Saturday, January 18, 2014

One liners

A good 30 laughs at Dilbert's one liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. 

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed. 

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. 

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. 

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.. 

7. Born free, taxed to death. 

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. 

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first. 

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. 

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere. 

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.. 

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. 

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. 

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it. 

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? 

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? 

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon! 

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them. 

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end. 

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers 

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker. 

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction. 

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
๐Ÿ˜€
Ek admi ne  apne Padosi ko sms kiya , 
Dear Sir , 
Aapko jara sa bhi andaza nhi hai lekin aapko ye jaan kar hairaani jaroor hogi aur gussa bhi aayega ... ki aapki knowledge mei aane diye bagair , I've been using ur WIFE .
I used it double than u ordinarily use it......
I used it day and night ....!
I really felt that my requirement for it was more than yours but it is not morally Okkey for me. And I must confess when I was wrong morally as well as legally. 
But I am sure that you will excuse me for my such naughty act. As otherwise also u were equally keeping it unused. Logically there's nothing wrong if I grabbed the opportunity but it is against social values and moral values. 
All expenses on your pocket and I am enjoying it for free.
If you agree , (only if u agree ) from now onwards I am ready to bear 50% expenses or money spent on ur WIFE.
or with no other option I will get my own. 
I could have continued like this for ever without letting u know anything but hope u'll appreciate my honesty and won't take any action against me. I m also feeling very guilty .
.
.

Neighbour just shot his wife and he was going to house of person sending sms ....
He received another sms....
.
.
.
.
.
Sorry AUTO CORRECT app. On my phone made it WIFE.
Actually it was about ur Wi Fi  connection .
Regards. ..
........!
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Friday, January 17, 2014

Amitabh Bachhan public toilet se pura bheeg kar bahar nikla

Jaya Bachhan: Aap to Susu karne gaye the??

Amitabh: Jaise mein ander gaya koi Kamina bola
'Amitabh Bachhan'

Aur sab meri taraf ghoom gaye :)    . 


๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ
appun bola !! 
A sample of the language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in 
Mumbai.........

1. There's a minor problem-
Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya 

2. There's a big problem -
Arre yaar, "Jhol" ho gaya 

3. There's a huge problem..(unsolvable)-
Arre yaar,"Raada" ho  Gaya 

4. You'll be surprised-
Ekdam "Hill " jayega tu

5. I am going out of this place-
Chal apun "Kalti" marta hai.

6. Don't make a fool of others-
Dekh, tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko 

7. Just get out of here, you oversmart fool!!-
Chal be shane, "Hawa"aane de

8. I am not a stupid out here-
Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se nahi aaya

9. There's some misunderstanding -
Arre kuch "Galat Faimily" ho gayi 

10. Do u drink daily? -
Tu kya roz "FULL TOO" hota hai?

11. See, You are afraid-
Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi

12. Shall I bash u? -
Aye Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ? 

13. Just take him into a secret place -
Use jara "Kopche" me leke ja

14. What a beautiful lady !! -
Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!!

15. Don't just bluff. -
Aye Jyada "RAAG" mat de.. 

16. Don't take much tension-
Jyaada "LOAD" nahi lene ka kya??

17. Your clothes are very awkward!! -
Kya "ZAGMAG /DHINKCHAAK"
pehna tune?

18. I don't care about it much..!! -
Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"

19. Please don't bore me-
Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu

20. All this must be done without anyone's notice.

Sab kaam "SOOMDI" me hona chahiye...kya?
 ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Guys !!!! Guys !!!! Guys !!!! New jokes in mkt....
Dentist: Kya aap "Oral B" Karti ho..??
Lady: 'oral bhi' Karna padta hai Dr. saab, uske bina inka KHADA hi nahi hota... ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ..........................................
Old Couple went to Dubai...
Man Got into Mood & said 
"Dear pahle room pe chale ya Burj Khalifa pe ...?
.
.
Wife -"ROOM hi chalo ,
Burj Khalifa to kal bhi KHADA Rahega ..๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ป

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Train me Santa ne T.C Se kaha : Mujhe subah 4 baje Ludhiana mein utha dena, agar main na jagu to zabardasti utaar dena. Muje subah interview dena hai."

Subah 8 baje Santa jaga to Ludhiana nikal gaya tha aur Gaadi ๐Ÿš‹ Amritsar pohach rahi thi.

Santa TC ko khub gaaliyaa dene laga..!

Logo ne TC se kaha ke wo apko itni gaaliyaan de raha hai aur aap chup-chap sun rahe hai.

TC :- Wahe guru ki kasam Main ye soch raha hun ki Subah  4 baje jis Sardar ko maine zabardasti utaar diya hai, Woh kitni gaaliyaan de raha hoga.๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Latest News :
Arvind Kejriwal has stopped wearing his Underwear, bcoz they have VIP written on them ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜œ

He can't wear Rupa, since people would say he always keeps Rupa around his private parts, and in Delhi thats a dangerous thing to do

He can't wear Jockey, as Horse Riding is a rich man's pastime  ๐Ÿ˜œ

He can't wear Macroman, since he is a common man

He can't wear Dixcy, since he does not want people to see his D***

And he can't go Commando, since he has refused Security

So now all he needs is to Cover his private parts with Mango Leaves, to prove that he is a "Aam" Admi
And that his Protection is the Aam !!!!!!
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.". Well . . . you'll love this one.

My name is Meena. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his BDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. 

Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Mary's high school.

"Yes. yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1984. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then, 
that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled faced,
gray-haired,
decrepit,
son-of-a-bitch,
asked,

"What did you teach" ?๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Irony of Life is.....

๐Ÿ‚Airports have seen more Affectionate Kisses 
than Wedding Halls.. 

๐Ÿ‚The Walls of Hospitals have heard more Sincere Prayers
than the Walls of Temples,
Masjid and churches..

๐Ÿ‚Good Days or Bad Days Depend on ur Thinking. What u Call "Suffocation" in Local Train Becomes an
 "Atmosphere" in Disco.

๐Ÿ‚Pizza....always confuses us ... it comes in a square box ... when you open it ... it's round ... when you start eating it ... it's triangle ! 
Life  &  People are also like Pizza ... Look different .. Appear different .. & .. Behave absolutely different ๐Ÿ˜„
Fact of life:

5 Apple : Rs. 600
Apple 5 : Rs. 60,000

POSITION matters..!!!๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

Friday, January 10, 2014

One day three nuns died and were all sent to heaven, where they found St. Peter waiting for them outside the gates of heaven.

"You have to answer a question from the bible correctly for the gate to open", said St. Peter.

The nuns agreed and the questioning began.

The first nun stepped forward and was asked, "Who was the first man on earth?"

The nun replied,"Adam that was easy" the gates opened and she stepped in.

The second nun was asked, "Who was the first woman on earth?",

"Eve, that's was easy" she replied. The gates opened and she stepped in.

The third nun was asked,"What did eve first say to Adam when they met" 
the nun thought for several minutes and finally protested,"Damn that's a hard one???" And the gates opened.
A padded bra is like real estate. 
The super built-up area is very impressive but the actual carpet area is disappointing...๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜€

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Khuda Kare Kisi Ko Judai Na Mile;
Wah Wah!
Khuda Kare Kisi Ko Judai Na Mile;
Aur Jo Group Main Message Na Kare Usse Thand Me Rajai Na Mile!


---/----
Sardar:Will U Marry me?

Girl:Sorry I'm a Lesbian.

Sardar:"Whats Lesbian?"

Girl:"I have Sex only with Girls".

Sardar:"Maar Taali I'm also Lesbian" ๐Ÿ˜œ

Monday, January 6, 2014

Mdh tadka

Girl - Aaj Aisa "SEX" Karo Ki Meri Chillane Ki Aawaj Dur Dur Tak Sunai De

Santa Ne CONDOM Par LAL MIRCH Lagai.
Bas Fir kya ....
M.D.H Ka Tadka
Ang Ang Fadka !!!

Hans mat Market mein naya hai fwd kar.๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

Jaam ya naan

Sardar eats 8 Naans at a party & is suffering from Constipation.  

Praying & Crying in Toilet :-  Hey Wahe Guru.. 

Ya to JAAN nikaal de.. 

Ya NAAN nikaal de...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Fuck

A lady hypnotised the whole audience in a hall with a pendulum...
.
Suddenly, the pendulum fell down,
She said "Fuck"
.
Imagine the mess after dat.!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Choco babe


An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday.
Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have teeth to munch them.
"Conductor: "Then why did you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!"๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚