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Monday, August 21, 2017

This killed me.

A woman dies. In heaven she sees a large Wall full of Clocks.

She asks angel: What are these for?

Angel answers: These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever you lie on earth, clock moves.

The woman points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this? ...

Angel says: Its Mother Teresa's. It never moved, showing that she never told lie.

The woman asks: Where are the clocks of our Indian men?

The angel replies: Those are in our office, We use them as 'OFFICE FANS'

She then asked, what of the Indian women?

The angel replied, 'those are out there generating electricity!'
😱😱😂😂😂

Sunday, August 20, 2017

This one is classic...

Santa Singh was sucking, licking, caressing and kissing his own fingers, palm and hand.

Banta: Why this madness? 😳

Santa: This is foreplay.. before Masturbation.
🤣🤣

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Two fleas had an arrangement to meet every winter in Manali for a vacation. Last year, when one flea gets to Manali he is shivering and shaking.

The other flea asked him, "Why are shaking so badly?"

The first flea says, "I rode down here from Chandigarh  in the moustache of Banta  on a Bullet."

The other flea says, "That's the worst way to travel. Do what I do. Go to the New Delhi  airport bar. Have a few drinks. While there, look for a nice airhostess, crawl up her leg and nestle in where it's warm and cozy. It's the best way to travel that I can think of."

The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next winter. 

A year goes by... 

When the first flea shows up in Manali he is shivering and shaking again.

The second flea says, "Didn't you try what I told you?"

"Yes," says the first flea. "I did exactly what you said. I went to the New Delhi airport bar. I had a few drinks. Finally, this nice young airhostess came in. I crawled right up to her warm cozy spot. It was so nice and warm that I fell asleep...

....when I woke up, I was back in the moustache of Banta on a Bullet."😂😂😂😂😂😜😜😀😀

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Friday, April 28, 2017

This is a blast:

An employee saw his  boss screwing a girl inside a car.

employee:  "Wah sir akele-akele? Hamara number kab ayega?"

Boss: "Ladki ke baad" !!!
😜😜😜

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Paraprodsdokians

The first time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. 

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
11. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
12. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
13. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Spread the Laughter, 
Share the Cheer, 
Let's Be Happy
While We're here!

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Intelligent Husband 
.
Wife was busy in packing her clothes. 
.
Husband - Where are you going ?
.
Wife - I'm moving to my mother. 
.
Husband also starts packing his clothes. 
.
Wife - Now where are you going ?
.
Husband - I'm also moving to my mother. 
.
Wife - And what about the kids ?
.
Husband - Well I guess ... If you are moving to your mother and I'm moving to my mother ... They should move to their mother. 
.
Clothes unpacked.😉😄😄


☀☀☀☀☀☀

Wife : "why are u home so early?"

Hubby :  "My boss said go to hell!" 
😆😋
         
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Doctor : How is ur headache ? 
Patient : she's out of town.
😄

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
       (1) Mobile
       (2) Automobile
       (3) TV
       (4) Wife
Because, there is always a 
better model in neighborhood 
😉

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
😷

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. 

One double and you start feeling single again.          
😇

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that,
the slide show begins !

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆
      
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils, 
but my wife is the queen of them.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Q - You know why women love shoes? 👠

Ans - Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit.. 😜

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Q - Why can't Women Drive well? 🚗
Ans - Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them.. 
😁
           
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Q - Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle? ⛺🎄

Ans - There are no Shopping Centers.. 
😉
           
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Q - How to save a Dying Woman? 

Ans - Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere.. 
😋
           
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Q - If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans - Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day.. 
😂
           
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

The woman who invented the phrase ...
"All men are the same" 
was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd.
😝
           
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen. 
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened....
😜😜
           
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Wives are magicians........

They can change anything into an argument.
😆😜
           
◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY? 
A very INTELLIGENT man replied: 
Women don't have a wife!
😜😜😆😜

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆

Send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle it...

😃😄😀😛😜😝

Tuesday, January 24, 2017


एक बुजुर्ग अपनी पुरानी मारुति से जा रहे थे कि एक BMW को ज़रा सी खरोंच लग गयी। 

BMW में से चार लम्बे चौड़े सरदार निकले और वृद्ध व्यक्ति की पिटाई की नौबत आ गयी। तभी बुजुर्ग ने कहा कि आप चार हैं और मैं अकेला, ये तो ना-इंसाफी है

उन चारों सरदारों में जो सबसे बड़ा था , वो बोला …सुरजिते और अमार्जिते तुम अंकल की तरफ हो जाओ। 

बुजुर्ग बोला ,"पर हम तो 
तीन हैं और आप दो "

तो उन मे से सुरजिते बोला, 
कोई बात नहीं अंकल जी आप 
घर जाओ , इन दोनो से हम निपट लेंगे 

😂😝😜😂😝