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Monday, October 29, 2012

Santa in agony

Santa & ladki sex kar rahe the.. Achanak ladki ka husband aa gaya.. Ladki ne santa ko cupboard mei chhupa dia but uski gotiyan darwaze ke bahar reh gaye..

Husband: ye kya hai.?
Wife: ye maine nayi bell lagwayi hai.

Husband ne hila kar dekha, koi aawaj ni aayi, zor se hilaya phir bhi koi aawaj nahi ayi.Phir usne zor se mukka mara to Santa cupboard se bahar akar rote hue bola...

Tiinggtonggg Maa ke laudey Tinggtongg=))

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Aadami ya janwar

Adalat Mein Ek Talak Ka Case Aata Hai, Patni Judge Se Kehti Hai. Patni: Ye Mujhe Bahut Chodta Hai, Main In Ke Sath Nahi Reh Sakti Judge Uske Pati Se Puchta Hai: Kitni Baar Chodte Ho Ek Din Mein? Pati: Raat Ko Sone Se Pehle, Phir Aadhi Raat Ko, Phir Subah Chai Se Pehle, Phir Chai Pee Ke, Phir Breakfast Se Pehle, Phir Breakfast Ke Baad, Phir Office Jane Se Pehle, Phir Office Se Aa Ke, Phir Lunch Karke, Phir Sham Ko Office Se Aa Ke, Phir Chai Pee Ke, Phir Dinner Se Phle Aur Fir Dinner Kar Ke, Judge: Itni Baar Chod Ke Tu Bor Nahi Hota? Pati: Ji Jab Bor Hota Hu Tab Mutth Maar Leta Hu

Pappu ki gand

Pappu Ne Aaj Tak Apni Gaand (Back) Nahi Dekhi Thhi. Kisi Shararat Ki Vajah Se School Mein Teacher Ne Uski Back Pe Kafi Sare Dande Maare. Rota Hua Bechara Ghar Aya Aur Socha Ki Sheeshe Mein Check Karta Hun Sheeshe Mein Back Ko Dekh Kar Pappu Bola Pappu: Madhar Chod Harami Master Ne Itna Mara Ki 2 Tukde Hi Kar Diye

Facts

Few Classics:
An intelligent wife is one who spends so much that her husband can't afford another woman.
*******************************************
Cool message by a woman: Dear mother-in-law,"don't teach me how to handle my children,I'm living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement." 
*******************************************
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came home and asked, What happened son??
Kid said, can't adjust with your wife anymore, I need my own. 
*******************************************
In an African safari, a lion suddenly bounced on Photographer's wife.
Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Man: Yes, yes. I'm changing the battery in my camera.. 
*******************************************
What is the difference between mother and wife?
One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.
******

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Aadami ya janwar

Adalat Mein Ek Talak Ka Case Aata Hai, Patni Judge Se Kehti Hai. Patni: Ye Mujhe Bahut Chodta Hai, Main In Ke Sath Nahi Reh Sakti Judge Uske Pati Se Puchta Hai: Kitni Baar Chodte Ho Ek Din Mein? Pati: Raat Ko Sone Se Pehle, Phir Aadhi Raat Ko, Phir Subah Chai Se Pehle, Phir Chai Pee Ke, Phir Breakfast Se Pehle, Phir Breakfast Ke Baad, Phir Office Jane Se Pehle, Phir Office Se Aa Ke, Phir Lunch Karke, Phir Sham Ko Office Se Aa Ke, Phir Chai Pee Ke, Phir Dinner Se Phle Aur Fir Dinner Kar Ke, Judge: Itni Baar Chod Ke Tu Bor Nahi Hota? Pati: Ji Jab Bor Hota Hu Tab Mutth Maar Leta Hu

Monday, October 22, 2012

Holy soap

HOLY SOAP!

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way..

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.


Startled, he drops a bar of soap..

"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood (the thing).
Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and
three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more tugs, then yells...

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, HAND WASH TOO!"

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Attention please

1st yr MBBS students were attending their 1st anatomy class.They all gathered around the table with real dead body.The professor started the class by telling them two important qualities as a doctor.The 1st is that never be disgusted about anything regarding the body e.g he inserted his finger in the body's ass & on drawing back,put the finger in his own mouth & tasted it.Then he told the students to do the same.The students hesisted for several minutes.But eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's ass & tasted it.When everyone finished the professor looked at them & said:The most important 2nd quality is Obervation.I inserted my middle finger but tasted the index finger. Now learn to pay attention

You can be sure they did!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Ronak Singh

-A sardar eats Viagra daily. Friend asked: u don't have wife or gf then y u eat the Viagra daily? Sardar: Bus wase hi underwear ma ronak lagi rehti ha

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Muft ka shave

Ek Doctor Santa Ke Piche Blade Leke Bhag Raha Tha Aur Chilla Raha Thha. Doctor: Thahar Ja Kutte Kameene, Ek Baar Hath Lag Ja Tere Ko Jan Se Mar Dunga Ye Sun Kar Kuch Logo Ne Usko Pakda Aur Pucha. Log: Bhai Sahab Hua Kya Hai, Kyu Usko Marne Pe Tule Ho? Doctor Rote Hue: Ye Sala Hai Hi Harami, Pichli 4 Baar Se Aisa Hi Kar Raha Hai, Nasbandi Karvane Aata Hai Aur Jhaantein Katva Kar Baag Jaata Hai

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Rodeo style sex

Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex
positions. One said, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy.
"What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount
her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her
breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just
like your sister's."
Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds."

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Lund ka kya kam

Ek bar ek sadhu maharaj Parvachan kar rahe the k Apne se Badi Aurat ko Maa, Chhoti ko Beti aur Barabar wali ko Behn Samjho. Issi beech ek Sardar ji uth kar bole “Maharaj ji to phir ye Lun v aap hi rakho. Jadi Booti Kootne ke Kaam Aayega.

Chicken story

Chicken story (mind blowing climax):
A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old
cock. As he feels that the old cock could no
longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer
bought one young cock from the market.
Old cock to Young cock:
"Welcome to join me, we will work together
towards productivity.
Young cock: What you mean? As far as I
know, you are old & should be retired.
Old cock : Young boy, there are 25 hens
here, can't I help you with some?
Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them
will be mine.
Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you
to a competition & if I win you shall allow
me to have one hen & if I lose you will have
all.
Young cock: OK. What kind of competition?
Old cock: 50 meters run. From here to that
tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow
me to start off the first 10 meters.
Young cock: No problem ! We will compete
tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the
Young cock allows the Old cock to start off
& when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters
mark the Young cock chases him with all his
might.
Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock
back in a matter of seconds. Suddenly,
Bang.....! Before he could overtake the old
cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who
cursed,..."Hell!!!! This is the 5th gay chicken I've bought this
week."=))

Monday, October 15, 2012

Punjabi & American

Marketing Concepts

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - "That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of ur frnz goes upto her and pointing at u says: "He's very rich."Marry him." "That's Advertising"

3. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to u and says: "You are very rich!" Can I marry you?" "That's Brand Recognition"

4. You see a gorgeous girl at a party go upto her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives u a nice hard slap on ur face.- "That's Customer Feedback"

5. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. U go upto her and say: "I m very rich. Mary me!" and she introduces u to her husband.- "That's demand and supply gap"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. U go upto her and before u say: "I m rich, Marry me!" ur wife arrives.- "That's restriction for entering new markets.

I hope Concepts are clear..
A Punjabi was enjoying a hearty breakfast....Coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam etc.
While an American, chewing a gum, sat next to him & started an unwanted conversation..
American : You punjabiz eat the whole bread?
Punjabi : Ofcourse !
American : (Blowing bubbles with his gum) We dont. We Americans only eat what's inside. We collect the crust, in a container, recycle, make these into croissants & sell these to India !!
Do u eat jam with bread ?
Punjabi : Ofcourse !
American: (Chuckling & crackling his gum between his teeth) We don't. We eat fruits in breakfast, put all the peels, seeds & leftovers into containers, turn these into jam & sell it to India !!
Punjabi : Do you have sex in America ?
American : Ofcourse, we do !
Punjabi : What do you do with the used condoms ?
American : We throw them, ofcourse !
Punjabi : We don't ! In India, we put them into a containers, recycle them, turn them into chewing gums & sell them to the Americans !!!!
Cheers!
A husbands version:
My wife is like "Terms & conditions" of a Website
I never understand what she says but I always accept

Friday, October 12, 2012

Japani phudi

her koi ker raha hai arman phudi ka

phudi pe mar raha hai insaan phudi ka

phudi bhi rabar ka lun bhi rabar ka

ki ki bana raha hai japan phudi ka

Bra panty

Lady – Time Kya Hua Hai
Santa – Bra Panty
Lady Ne Khich K Chaped Maari, Kenhdi Ki Bakvas Kari Janda Ae.
Santa – Salie Chaped Kyon Maari Thik Taan Keh Reha Haan 12:35

Daru aur barbadi

​Daru ki vajah se barbaad 1insaan ne Kasam li aur ghar se Daru ki khali bottles fekne laga

1st fekte bola- Teri vajah se Meri Naukri gyi >:O

2nd fekte bola- Teri vajah se Mera Ghar bika :'(

3rd fekte bola- Teri vajah se Meri Biwi chali gayi
4th uthai to vo bhari hui nikli ...toh bola-Tu Side me hoja pagli, Tu to bekasur hai

Sindhi aur fakeer

Fakeer: Baba Kuch De Do Bahut Bhooka Hu..

Sindhi: 100 Rs. Dikhate Hue Bola 50 Rs Hain Tere Pas ?

Fakeer Khushi Se: G Hai

Sindhi :To Pehle Wo To Kharch Krle..?

Lunds up

ThumsUp is launching Viagra drink. It is named..
"LUNDS-UP"..
With punch line..
"Fuck d Thunder
Dal de undar"

Topless restaurant

Thousands of Men visited the new "Topless Restaurant",

They were shocked to find out that it had no roof!
Men will b men

Wife Ne Kurti Kaddi



Wife Ne Kurti Kaddi,
Fer Madhosh Nazran Naal Sante Vall Dekhde Hoye
Apni Salwar Laahndi Hoyi Kehan Laggi,
“Pata Hai Na, Ajj Ki Karna Hai?”
Santa: Saali, Main Ajj Raat Nu Kapde Nahi Dhowanga…

Menopause

For all my 40+ dear friends..
There's no reason to fear Menopause !
It's d eggs that expire 'n'
Not d Hen.. !!
The Cock still enjoys..!!!

Yeh kya bimari hai


Mareez ke penis ke neeche ki 1goti kaali ho gai

Doctor zehar fail gaya hai kaatni padegi

Kuch din baad dusri goti lal ho gayi

Doctor zehar zyada fail gaya hai dusri b kaatni padegi

Kuch aur din baad penis neela ho gaya

Doctor agar zinda rehna hai toh penis katwa lo
aur Doctor ne uski jagah plastic ka penis laga diya

kuch din baad plastic ka penis bhi hara ho gaya

DR-OH NO !

Ab teri bimari samajh aa gai hai teri UNDERWEAR rang chod rahi hai.;) 😀😀

Monday, October 8, 2012

Second person at moon?

Banta- Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Santa- NEIL AMSTRONG.
Banta- Or dusra?
Santa- hai chutiya. dusra bhi usi ne rakha hoga. Wo bhousade ka
Langda thodi tha woh!

Ramayan ka saar


RAMAYANA KA SAAR:

Poori Ramayan biwiyo ki kahani hai.
LAXMAN apni biwi ko
ghar pe chhodkar chala aaya.

RAWAN dusre ki utha ke fas gaya.

SUGRIV ne RAM ka sath isliye diya kyoki use apni biwi bali se vapas chahiye thi.

HANUMAN ki apni thi hi nahi magar dusre ki dhundhne ke chakkar me LANKA jala dali.

RAM ko apani vapas chahiye thi to use dus din tak yuddha karna pada aur end me kya hua??

jis biwi ke kaaran itni RAMAYAN hui woh to
underground ho gayi.

Facts

Virginity is like a balloon. One prick and it's gone forever!

Sex is like a pack of chips, once you start you can't stop!

Exam paper is like a dick, When it gets hard people get fucked!

Work is like group sex,10 people are behind your ass to take your place.

Education is like hiring a prostitute, It needs both your money and your hard work.

Success is like masturbating, only your own hand can let you achieve it."

In short: Life is a porn film!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Result

Thought For The Day
"A Man should make his Woman's Pussy wet and Not her eyes

AND
A Woman should make her Man's Dick hard and Not his life"

---///-------//------///--
Father: Tumhare Result ka kya
hua.........??
.
.
.
Son: Headmster ka beta fail ho
gaya,
.
.
.
Father: Aur tum...??
.
.
.
Son: Doctor ka beta Bhi fail ho
gaya,
.
.
.
Father: Aur tumhara result kaisa
Aaya....??
.
.
.
Son: Wo Wakeel Ka Beta Bhi fail
Ho gya,
.
.
.
Father: Kamine mai tera puchh
raha
hun.
.
.
.
Son: To Tum konse Rajnikant Ho,
Tumhara Beta Bhi Fail hua hai.
Sonia Gandhi was very embarassed on hearing that Robert Vadra is worth 300 crores...


In political terms....he is below "poverty line" :

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Ghalib aur uski biwi

GHALIB :
Hume to apno ne loota,
Gairon mein kahan dam tha.
Hamaari kashti wahaan doobi, Jahaan paani kam tha...!

GHALIB ki BIWI :
Tum toh they hee chutiye, Tumhaari gaand mein kahaan dam thaa.
Wahan kya maa chudaane gaye they,
Jahaan paani kam thaa...?!!?

Facts of life

A Few Good Ones ...

1. When I was born, I was given a choice: A big dick or a good memory...
I don't remember, what I chose :p

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory !!

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying: 'Sorry dude, No hard feelings....' ;)

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:
'don't' and 'stop' ... unless they are used together :p

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth ;)

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly :D

8. Virginity is not dignity, its simply lack of opportunity ..

9. Having sex is like playing cards.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand !!

10. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small... ;)

11. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy !!

12. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only 'down under'.

13. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

14. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't ;)

15. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes :p

16. Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.
Many men still sleep with their wives!!
=D