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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Gujju friend calls his friend, Girish - Hey Girish, I'm sorry about you being bankrupt.




Girish - Abey, woh Greece hai! 

๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜ก

Monday, June 29, 2015

Wife: sunoji circus dekhne chale???

Husband : No......... I m busy 

Wife : Usme ek ladki ne bina kapdon ke sher pe sawari ki hai. ...!!!!!

Husband : bahut ziddi ho gayi ho....Har baat zidd karke manvati ho....
Chalo bahut din hue sher nahin dekha....!!!!!๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ




Iske Aage ki kahaani...

Husband & wife phir circus dekhne gaye. husband ne sabse aage wali seat ki ticket bhi le li... ๐Ÿ˜Ž
Lion show aaya aur chala gaya par bina kapadon ki ladki nahi aayi...Circus show khatam ho gaya...

Husband : Tumne toh kaha tha ki ek ladki bina kapdon ke aayegi?

Wife : Bina kapdo ke toh sher kaha tha, ladki nahi........

I swear you will read it again ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Must read... ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Obama!' an heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!'

'Well, Gurmukh,' Obama replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'

'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight.'

Obama paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'

Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Obama, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment.'
'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh?' Obama asked.

'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'
Obama sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.'

'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

'Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne.... .. We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur area have joined us as well!'

Obama was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'

'Tera bhala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

'Kiddan, Mr.Obama! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Obama. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!!

NOW, THAT'S CALLED PUNJABI CONFIDENCE!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Punjabi poetry is also good. ..check this one
.
. Fine Punjabi poetry series....




Once there was a Crow,

Chandigarh vich baitha C oh,

Usne peg laye C doh,

O Talli gya C ho,

Ik Chiri rahi C Ro,

Crow ne ched diti oh,

Utto aa gya Chiri Da Peo , 

Chiri de pyo ne fir kuttya Crow,

Crow Sharminda gya C ho,

Hun Chiri nu Bhain kehnda oh
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
เคเค• เคธाเคงू เคถเคนเคฐ เคฎें เคšเคฒा เคœा เคฐเคนा เคฅा।

เคคเคญी เค•िเคธी เค˜เคฐ เค•ी เค›เคค เคธे เคเค• เคฌ्เคฐा เค‰เคก़ เค•เคฐ เค‰เคธ เคชเคฐ เค—िเคฐ เค—เคฏी।

เคธाเคงू เคฌोเคฒ " เคนे เคช्เคฐเคญु।।
เคฏे เคคेเคฐी เค•ैเคธी เคฎाเคฏा เคนै?

เค†เคฎ เค•ोเคˆ เค”เคฐ เคšूเคธ เคฐเคนा เคนै
เค›िเคฒเค•े เคนเคฎ เคชเคฐ เคซेंเค•े เคœा เคฐเคนे เคนै ।।।।
เคฒเคก़เค•ो เค•ो เคฌเคก़े เคฌाเคฒ เคฐเค–เค•เคฐ เคเค•्เคŸिเคตा เคจเคนीं เคšเคฒाเคจी เคšाเคนिเค
เค†เคœ เคœเคฌ 
5 เค•िเคฒोเคฎीเคŸเคฐ เคชीเค›ा เค•เคฐเคจे เค•े เคฌाเคฆ เคชเคคा เคšเคฒा เค•ि เคตो เคฒौंเคกा เคนै เคคो เคฎाเคจเคตเคคा เคธे เคญเคฐोเคธा เคนी เค‰เค  เค—เคฏा
Mrs. Das divorced Mr Das.

Now she's binDas.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜
เคเค• เค†เคฆเคฎी เค•ी เคฌाเคˆเค• เคชंเค•्เคšเคฐ เคนो เค—เคฏी เค•िเคธी เคคเคฐเคน เคตो เค‰เคธเค•ो เคฒेเค•เคฐ เคชाเคธ เค•े เคเค• เคธเคฐ्เคตिเคธ เคธ्เคŸेเคถเคจ เคฎें เคชเคนुँเคšा। เคตเคนाँ เคœाเค•เคฐ เคชंเค•्เคšเคฐ เคฒเค—ाเคจे เคตाเคฒे เคฒเคก़เค•े เคธे เคฌोเคฒा, "เคฌाเคˆเค• เค˜เคธीเคŸ เค˜เคธीเคŸ เค•े เค—ांเคก เคซเคŸ เค—เคฏी।"
เคฒเคก़เค•े เคจे เค•เคจ्เคซ्เคฏूเคœ़ เคนोเค•เคฐ เคชूเค›ा, "เคคो เคซिเคฐ เคชเคนเคฒे เคชंเค•्เคšเคฐ เค•เคนाँ เคฒเค—ाเคŠं, เค—ांเคก เคชे เคฏा เคฌाเคˆเค• เคฎें?"

Friday, June 19, 2015

SINGAPORE AIRLINES

Mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Singapore Airlines from Singapore to New York. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, 'If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes???? 'The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the pretty flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, 'If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?'  The flight attendant responded, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me that?' The little boy admitted that she did.  “Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Singapore Airlines always pulls out on time.  Now, let your mother explain that to you.!!!”๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚
A British guy walks into a bar in Central London and before he could order his drink, he notices an Indian man wearing a Gandhi Topi.

Having a personal grudge against Indians, the British guy says loudly to the bartender to the advantage of everyone seated in the bar, "Drinks for everyone in here, except for the Indian over there."

The first round of drinks were served, and the Indian gives him a smile, gestures to him saying, "Thank you!" in a loud voice.

The British guy is upset and again orders loudly to the bartender to serve another round of drinks to everyone except the Indian. 

The Indian seems to be unruffled and he continues to smile, and yells back, "Thank you Sir!"

The British guy is mad by now and asks the bartender, "What's wrong with this Indian ? I've insulted him by ordering drinks for everyone but him, and yet he smiles back and keeps thanking me. Has he lost his mind?"

"No, Sir," replies the bartender. "He is the owner of this place."

เค ोเค•ो เคคाเคฒी ! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜