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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Hahaha. .
Monday Night:

Wife: Aaj tum daaru peeke aaye ho ! Kyun?
Husband : Arre Aaj office mai foreign clients k saath meeting thi to peeni padi 

Tuesday Night:

Wife: Aaj tum fir daaru peeke aaye ho ! Kyun?
Husband : Arre Aaj mere ek friend ki engagement thi to Usne party di isliye

Wednesday Night:

Wife: Aaj bhi tum peeke aaye..
Husband: Arre Aaj ek friend ka breakup ho gaya...WO bahut udaas tha to Uska mood fresh karne ke liye...

Thursday Night:

Wife: Aaj fir se...Ab kiska breakup ho gaya?
Husband: Breakup nahi....Aaj Office mai work load tha...bahut tension thi....isliye

Friday Night:

Wife: Aaj kyun?
Husband : Arre jis friend ki engagement thi na Tuesday ko, Aaj uski shaadi thi...to khushi ke mauke pe to....samajh gayi na

Saturday Night:

Wife: hmmm...Ab?
Husband : Aaj purane school friends mil gaye the to WO disco le gaye aur zabardasti pila di...maine bahut mana bhi kiya par maane nahi...

Sunday Night:

Wife (gusse se): Ab Aaj kya ho gaya..

Husband : AADMI EK DIN BHI APNI MARJI SE NAHI PI SAKTA HAI KYA🍷🍹🍷

Monday, April 28, 2014

✅ गाँड़फाडू जोक्स... कम बैक।



लड़का, अपनी गर्लफ्रेन्ड से वाट्स ऐप पर...

लड़का : जान... कैसी हो?

लड़की : एकदम मस्त।

लड़का : जान... कल हमलोग मिले?

लड़की : ओके... ठीक है।

लड़का : मिलकर, किस करने दोगी?

लड़की : ओके...

लड़का : एक बार बुब्स चुसने दोगी?

लड़की : नही।

लड़का : प्लीज़ जान... प्लीज़।

लड़की : ओके बाबा... कर लेना।

लड़का : जान... एक बार नीचे भी उँगली कर लूंगा..??


लड़की : ठीक है... पर सिर्फ उँगली ही और कुछ नही।


               (20 मिनट बाद)


लड़का : नही जान... ये ठीक नही है।
शादी से पहले ये सब करना ठीक नही।


लड़की : मादरचोद... तुने फिर मुठ मार ली ना..??
भोसड़ी के।

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Designer pussy

Doston,Ek Sher Angrezi mein,ho jaaye.. :

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine.. 
created a pussy to their design : 

First was a butcher,
with smart wit, 
using a knife, 
he gave it a slit..

Second was a carpenter, 
strong and bold, 
with a hammer and chisel, 
he gave it a hole.. 

Third was a tailor, 
tall and thin, 
by using red velvet, 
he lined it within..

Fourth was a hunter, 
short and stout, 
with a piece of fox fur, 
he lined it without..

Fifth was a fisherman, 
nasty as hell, 
threw in a fish and gave it a smell..

Sixth was a preacher, 
whose name was McGee, 
he touched it and blessed it, 
and said it could pee.. 

Last was a sailor, 
dirty little runt, 
he sucked it and fucked it, 
and called it a cunt!!
Boy to a Doctor: My gf is pregnant bt I used protection 🍡

Doctor: Ek Kahani Suno,
Ek Shikari ek din Gun ki jagah Umbrella le gaya, 
Achanak Lion samne aaya to usne Umbrella ka handle khicha aur fire kiya,
Lion wahi mar gaya..

Boy: Ghantaa...! 
Kissi aur ne goli mari hogi.. 😅

Doctor: Exactly!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😝😝😝😜😜😜👍👌👍👌👍👌😝😂😂😝👌
आज का ज्ञान :

अगर आपकी मैग्नेटिक पर्सनैलिटी के बावजूद लड़की आपकी तरफ आकर्षित नहीं हो रही है,
इसका मतलब लड़की में आयरन की कमी है 😂😂😜😜🏃🏃🏃😳😳😳

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Santa pulls up at a red light besides a gorgeous young woman, smiles at her and lowers his window. The woman smiles back and also lowers her window. 

"Ah," says santa, "tussi wi padd marya hai"
MUNNA CIRCUIT
😂😂😂
Munna: Kya kar rela hai circuit?
Circuit: Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu
Munna: Kyun!
Circuit: Bhai, baap ka naam roshan karne ka he na.
😜

Munna: Ae Circuit ye Dr. log opration se pehle
patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?
Circuit: Bhai! Bole to patient opration sikh gaya
to Dr. Logo ki to vaat lag jayegi na.
😜

Circuit: Bhai, apun ne kal Sania Mirza se phone pe baat ki.
Munna bhai: Arre wah, kya kaha usne.
Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu wrong number!!
😜

Munna Bhai: Apna Desh kaun chala raha hai?
Cirkit: Bhai SMS
Munna Bhai: Kya bakta hai?
Cirkit: Bhai, SMS bole toh
S=SARDAR
M=MANMOHAN
S=SINGH
😜

Munna: ye Gandhi Bapu
har note me haste hi
kyu rehte hei ??

Circuit: Simple hai
BHAI, Royenge to note
geeela ho jayenga na.
😜

Circuit- Bhai, Aamerican Rastrapati Kaha Rehta He?
Munaa- DHOBIGHAT Pe
Circuit- Dhobighat Bole To?
Munaa- English Me Bole To
“WASHING TOWN"
😜


Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?

Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan the!!!
😜😝😛😆😸😺

Sunday, April 20, 2014

If   you   see   the   moon ..... You   see    the    beauty    of    God .....   If    you   see    the   Sun ..... You   see    the    power   of    God .....   And ....    If   you   see   the   Mirror ..... You   see     the    best    Creation of   GOD .... So    Believe   in     YOURSELF..... :) :) :).
We all are tourists & God is our travel agent who 
already fixed all our Routes Reservations & Destinations
So!
Trust him & Enjoy the "Trip" called LIFE...
Our aim in life should be
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

🔹9-glass drinking water.  🍸🍹
🔹8-hrs sound sleep. 😴😴
🔹7-wonders tour with family. 👪
🔹6-six digit income.💰💰 
🔹5-days work a week 
🔹4-wheeler. 🚗
🔹3-bedroom flat 💒j
🔹2-cute children. 👫
🔹1-sweetheart. 🙋
🔹0-tension! 👍
Yhe jindgi na milegi dubara 😄😀😜😗😙😃😘
👍👌 💯✅
 
send to all friends who are important to you...

👏💃💐🙏🌹


--/:://--
When you officially convert Rs.3 Lacs to Rs.3000 crores you are called Robert Vadra. 

When you officially convert Rs 3000 crores to Rs.3 Lacs you are called Vijay Mallya.

The actual difference lies between hanging around the right women and chasing the wrong ones.
🏃🏃🏃💃💃💃💃

Friday, April 18, 2014

Sunny leone in Khana Khazana: Aaj main Aapko "Kele ka Kofta" banana sikhati hoon.
Sabse pehle 1 saaf mota Kela lein.
 .
 ..
 ...
 ....
 Agar lene mein maza aa raha hai to lete rahein.
 Kofte ki Maa ka Bhosda
 fir kabhi ban jayega!
😀😆😂😂😂
Larki: Mujhe koi aisi sabzi do jiske 7 faayde hon !

Sabzi wala: Ye Lo madam Gajar !!

1: Pasand aaye to Aloo Matar ke saath paka lena...  Warna ..
2: Juice bana ke pe sakti ho... Nahi to ..
3: Salad bana sakti ho... Ye bhi  na karo to ..
4: Gajrela bana lena... Nahi to ..
5: Chinese noodles mein daal lena... Aisa bhi nahi to phir ..
6:  Murabba bana sakte ho... Ye bhi na ho to ..
7: Achaar bana lena !!

Kaake jo tu dhoond raha hai wo nahi milega...
Post dekh kis Svanskaari aadmi ne likhi hai!!! 
😊😀😃😄😛😝😜😂😂
Larki: Mujhe koi aisi sabzi do jiske 7 faayde hon !

Sabzi wala: Ye Lo madam Gajar !!

1: Pasand aaye to Aloo Matar ke saath paka lena...  Warna ..
2: Juice bana ke pe sakti ho... Nahi to ..
3: Salad bana sakti ho... Ye bhi  na karo to ..
4: Gajrela bana lena... Nahi to ..
5: Chinese noodles mein daal lena... Aisa bhi nahi to phir ..
6:  Murabba bana sakte ho... Ye bhi na ho to ..
7: Achaar bana lena !!

Kaake jo tu dhoond raha hai wo nahi milega...
Post dekh kis Svanskaari aadmi ne likhi hai!!! 
😊😀😃😄😛😝😜😂😂

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Designer pussy

Doston,Ek Sher Angrezi mein,ho jaaye.. :

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine.. 
created a pussy to their design : 

First was a butcher,
with smart wit, 
using a knife, 
he gave it a slit..

Second was a carpenter, 
strong and bold, 
with a hammer and chisel, 
he gave it a hole.. 

Third was a tailor, 
tall and thin, 
by using red velvet, 
he lined it within..

Fourth was a hunter, 
short and stout, 
with a piece of fox fur, 
he lined it without..

Fifth was a fisherman, 
nasty as hell, 
threw in a fish and gave it a smell..

Sixth was a preacher, 
whose name was McGee, 
he touched it and blessed it, 
and said it could pee.. 

Last was a sailor, 
dirty little runt, 
he sucked it and fucked it, 
and called it a cunt!!

Gajar ke fayde

Larki: Mujhe koi aisi sabzi do jiske 7 faayde hon !

Sabzi wala: Ye Lo madam Gajar !!

1: Pasand aaye to Aloo Matar ke saath paka lena...  Warna ..
2: Juice bana ke pe sakti ho... Nahi to ..
3: Salad bana sakti ho... Ye bhi  na karo to ..
4: Gajrela bana lena... Nahi to ..
5: Chinese noodles mein daal lena... Aisa bhi nahi to phir ..
6:  Murabba bana sakte ho... Ye bhi na ho to ..
7: Achaar bana lena !!

Kaka jo tu dhoond raha hai wo nahi milega...
Post dekh kis Sanskaari aadmi ne likhi hai!!! 
😊😀😃😄😛😝😜😂😂

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

👍🙏🌷
महिला ग्रामर टीचर :"पप्पू मेरा दूध नहीं पीता"- इस वाक्य में पप्पू क्या है?😳
छात्र : पप्पू चूतिया है , आप हमें एक मौका दीजिये..😝

Friday, April 11, 2014

Superb quote :     

Celebrating anything without alcohol, 
Is like Watching a porn movie on a radio...!
😜😜😂

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Traffic Police Wali Ne Suhagraat K Baad
Husband Se Rs.600 Ka Jurmana Manga!
Husband: Kis Liye?
Wife: 100 Overspeed K,
200 Wrong Side K Or 300
Bina Helmet K.!

Market main naya hai😜😜😜😜😜😃😃😀😀

Monday, April 7, 2014

Duniya ke 7 such
1----- aap apni ankho pe sabun nahi laga sakte.
2----- aap apne baal nahi gin sakte.
3-----aap saans nahi le sakte jab aapki jeeb bahar ho.
4-----aapne abhi abhi point 3 try kiya hey.
5-----aapko laga ki aap point 3 kar sakte ho .lakin aap sirf ek dog ki tarha lag rahe the.
6-----ab aap muskura rahe ho kyoki aap dog ke saath ullu bhi ban gay.
7 -----ab aap soch rahe ho ki apna gussa kisko forward karke nikalu.

Saturday, April 5, 2014


Daughter: Is my nose flat?
Mom: No Baby
Daughttr: Am i fat like an Elephant?
Mom: U have a fine physique, U R a Barbie Doll.
Daughtr: Am i dark colour?
Mom: No no, U R so sweet.
Daughtr: Then why people tell me that U look like your mom.
Mom: Lawan Jutti, Bandri Jai, Majj kisey tha di.. Phini, Kali Habshan kida bakwas krdi e😡

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

😄
📬 Height of JOB satisfaction🔆

🔹A boy was appointed as a Receptionist in a Girls hostel. 

🔹After 2 months the owner called the boy and said, 
Why haven't you come to collect your salary?

Boy: oh my god! SALARY bhi hai😱!!!
. Sexy jokes-
Wife : Janu Sex ho jaye.
Husband : Aaj Nahi.
Wife : Kyo ?
Husband :Aaj Condom lana Bhul Gaya.
Wife :Teri to roz ki magaj mari he lamination karvale!
Sardar ne Taxi bechkar XEROX ki shop khol li..
Dost ne pucha to bataya. Yaara dil khush ho jata hai jab ladkiyan aakar kehti hain "aage piche dono side karna
Raat ke Andhere mein Sardar-Ye Condom itna Chhota or Sakht kyo hai?
Wife-O Bina Dimaag ke Jaanwar,woh Bachche ke Dhoodh Peene ki Nipple hai.
UTAR ise......
Sardar Medicl Stor Pe Condom Lene gaya..
Pr Wha Jakr Condam ka Nam Bhul gaya..
Bahut der tak sochne k baad
sardar Zip Khol k..
O Yaar,
Iska body cover de do.!
Sardar goes to buy condoms
Salesman asks :Only flavoured ones r available. Which flavour do u want?
Sardar thinks&thinks &thinks
then says: Chhole Bhature!
Sardar- jaldi se chaddi nikalo! Aaj Sex ka Mood hai !
Ladki- maine chaddi nhi pehni.
Sardar-thik hai, kal chaddi pehan k aana.
Kal kar lenge !
Sardar sex kr raha tha galti se peeche daal diya.
BIWI= O, G truck galat gudaam me jaa raha hai.
SARDAR=ab bata rahi hai jab Maal Utaar Diya.
Tailor ladki ka Maap lete hue:
Koi boyfriend hai ?
Girl: Haan, Q ?
Tailor:
Usse bolna thode din left side pe zyada dhyaan de,
Fitting sahi baithegi.
Lady 2 Dr.: Mere husband ka bahut lamba hai. Andar jata hai to kaleje ko lagta hai.
Dr.: Chota karna hai kya?
Lady: Na ji na. Kaleja thoda upar ho sakta hai!?
1 pandit ki taang jal gayi.
Doctor ne Burnol aur viagra likh di, pandit bola Burnol to samajh aata hai par viagra kyon?
Dr: Usse dhoti Unchi rahegi....:-S
Sexy Lady in Sexy voice: Batao Meri panty me kya hai? Batao?
Sardar (with confidence):
Elastic hi hoga,
aaj-kal naadewali kaun pehenta hai.!
Teacher: kya cheez mooh main nahin Leni chahiye?
Student:"Jalta hua bulb. Teacher: Kyon?
Student: kal rat mum papa se bol rahi thi ki bulb buja do to muh me lu.
SEX k baad Pati BRA dete hue- Ye lo apne "Doodh k Dhakkan"
Unsatisfied Wife-Gusse se, Underwear dete hue-''Ye lo apne  Murday ka Kafan''.
Man - Doctor Sahib, Kamzooori Bahut Hai. 
Doctor-Doodh Daba Kar Piya Karo.
Man-Doctor Sahib Doodh to Bahut Peeta Hoon, Par Woh Zyada Dabane Nahi Deti....!〽
Suhagrat ko wife husband se boli "KARO?
Husband- mujhe kuch nahi aata
Wife- koi baat nahi jaise main karu vaise hi karte jaao,
wife ne kapde utare
husband ne bhi kapde utaare
fir..Wife ne letker taange utha lee to husband ne bhi letkar taange utha lee or bola"ab"?
Wife: ab aisa kar Bhosdike Bahar se 3 aadmi bula laa.. ek meri marega aur ek TERI.
Husband: aur teesra.? 
Wife- teesra free ka whatsapp msg padne wale ki marega jo bahut muskura raha hai..
Dekh kya. Raha hai😳
Forward kr zaldi market mein naya aaya hai👍