Galat kam

Teacher: Baccho, Dasso Jehde Loki Galat Kamm Karde Ne,
Oh Kithe Jande Ne??
Ik Kudi Boli Sharmande Hoye: Madam Sehar De Loki Hotel Te,
Te Pendu Loki Motor Te…

couple never fought in 25 years.


A couple never fought in 25 years.

A friend asked: how did you make it possible?

Husband: we went to Paris for our honeymoon, while horse riding my wife's horse jumped and she fell down.

She got up and patted the horse's back and said this is your 1st time

After a while it happened again and my wife said this your 2nd time ,

when it happened 3rd time, my wife took out the gun and shot the horse..!

I shouted: You PSYCHO you killed the horse.

She gave me a grave look and said this is your 1st time!

And since then we have never fought.

What a coincidence

Man in a bar orders kingfisher beer!
Lady next to him- What a coincidence, even i have ordered Kingfisher.
Man- I am celebrating.
Lady- Me too.
Man- What a coincidence.
Why r u celebrating?
Lady- My husband n I have tried 4 years for a baby.
Today I am pregnant!
Man- What a coincidence.
I'm a farmer, for 4 yrs my hens were infertile, today all laying eggs!!!
Lady- Wow! how did that happen?
Man- I used a different cock!
Lady smiled winked her eyes & said- What a coincidence!

Auspicious occasion

Wife- I am fed up of the daily fights.I wanna divorce you!
Husband:ok..here some chocolate for you! Wife(emotionally): maana rahe ho mujhe?don't want me to go? Husband:nahi,nahi! Maa kehti hai shubh kaam karne se pehle kuchch meetha khana chahiye...kaam achcha hota hai!!!!

Nurse

Definition of nurse: A beautiful,young woman who touches you everywhere,holds your hand......and then expects your pulse to be normal AND to call her "Sister"!!!

Poor pappu

2 girls are travelling in a train:
Girl 1:tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?girl 2:mujhe crorepati chahiye. Girl 1:crorepati na mile toh? Girl2: 50lakh ke 2 pati chalange. Girl 1: 50 lakh ke na mile toh? Girl2 : 25 lakh ke 4 pati chalenge. Upper berth se Pappu,jo so raha tha,bola"Jab ye 1000 rupaye pe aaye toh mujhe utha dena"....

Professor to student

Professor to student


1 Platform 2 km lambaa hai,
Aandhi chal rahi hai,
60km/h ki speed se Ek Train Aayi aur Delhi se Mumbai ki Taraf Chali gayi.

Toh Sawal ye hai ke:
Meri Umar Kitni hai ????

Sab Bachhe Hairaan ho ke 1 Doosre ki Shakal dekhne Lagey....

Ek Student ne Jawab dene ke liye haath Uthaaya.

Student:
Sir Aapki Umar 42 saal hai.

Profesor:
Oh...!! Very Good, Lekin tumne kaise Calculate kia ??

Student :
Sir Hamare Ghar ke paas 1 Aadmi Rehta hai, woh AADHA Chutia hai aur Uski Umar 21 Saal Hai.

Prayers

MPORTANT circular from GOD :

Laying in bed with somebody and screaming


"oh my GOD.... oh my GOD"


will not be considered as a prayer... X_X

Girlfriend pregnant

Boy to a doctor: My gf is pregnant but I used protection

Doctor: Ek kahani suno...
Ek shikari ek din gun ki jagah umbrella le gaya, achanak lion samne aaya to usne umbrella ka handle khicha aur fire kiya..

Lion wahi mar gaya.
Boy:-Impossible!
Kissi aur ne goli mari hogi

Doctor: Exactly ........

Scratch and win

Santa was busy Scratching his balls in a Mall..

Banta: What happened?

Santa: Tu bhi kar,
Wahan Poster laga hai,

''Scratch & Win A BMW"

Raaz 3

That awkward moment in Raaz 3
when Bipasha removes her top in front of emraan
& asks him
"Meri Aankho mein dekho !"

Calory count

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until
recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different sexual activities.
Now, after original and proprietary research, they are proud to present the
results:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent............ 12 Calories
Without her consent........ 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands............ 8 Calories
With one hand.............. 12 Calories
With your teeth.............85 Calories=D

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........... 6 Calories
Without an erection....... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.. 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary................ 52 Calories
69 lying down..............78 Calories
69 standing up........... 112 Calories=D
Wheelbarrow.............. 216 Calories
Her on top................ 524 Calories
Doggy Style............... 726 Calories
Donkey punch.............. 912 Calories;)

ORGASMIC:
Real..................112 Calories
False................ 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging........ 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.......36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately................816 Calories=))

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are
20-29 years old........ 36 Calories
30-39 years............ 80 Calories
40-49 years.............1124 Calories
50-59 years........... 1972 Calories
60-69 years........... 2916 Calories
70 and over....Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly............ 32 Calories
In a hurry........ 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... ...............1218 Calories
With your spouse knocking at the door................. 5521 Calories

Love expression

Girl: Do u love me more than ur family?
Boy: No.
Girl: Y?
Boy: Ok, listen to this,
"When i started to walk, I fell, u were not there to pick me up. But my mom was..

When i went outside, u were not there to hold my finger but my dad was..

When i cried, u didn't give me ur toys to play but my brother n sister did..
My family is more precious than anything else.."

GIRL: aaaawwwww, so cute!, But when u felt Horny, ur Family was not there to give u a Blowjob .
bastard...!=))

Usain bolt

Many wives call their husbands Usain Bolt.

They last about 9.63 seconds and always come first !!!!

Jim

The nightmare birthday gift -
Wife treats Hubby by taking him to a strip club for his b'day..

At the club -
Doorman: Hey Jim! How are you?
Wife: How does he know you?
Jim: We play Golf!

Barman: The usual Jim?
Wife: and how does he know you?
Jim: He's on the Darts Team!

Lap Dancer: The special again Jim?

The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi..

Driver: Hey Jimmy boy..
You picked an ugly one this time... Same Hotel ?=))

Soft and Hard

A man elbow accidentally touches a woman's chest in an elevator. He says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, you will forgive me", she replies "and if your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 212".

Vibrator

lady to doctor “a vibrator stuck in my pussy “ Doctor “laydown , I will take it out” Lady “NO!, pls. change its battery”.

Ringtone

Vidaai k time DULHE ka mobile baja, DULHAN ne thappad maar diya? Ringtone thi-Dil me chupake pyar ka armaan le chale,Hum aaj apni maut ka samaan le chale..!!=))
Ik khota, odhe piche ik hor khota, odhe piche main te mere piche sara desh. santa teaching his children the spelling of assassination, ass-ass-i-nation.

Gandu Dost

Ishq Key Sahare Hum Jiya Nahi Karte,
Gum Key Aansuo Ko Hum Piya Nahi Karte,
Kuch Dost Gaandu Aise Bhi Hote Hain,
Jinki Gaand Mein Jab Tak Ungli Na Dalo,
Tab Tak Wo Humhe Yaad Bhi Nahi Karte….

Best thing

Advertisement By A Panty Manufacturer In USA
“We Are Not The Best In The World, But We Are Closest To The Best Thing In The World“

Contraception

Santa Bada Dukhi Sa Hokar Apne Ek Khas Doctor Dost Ke Pass Jata Hai Aur Apni Samsya Batata Hai
Santa: “Doctor Sahab, Koi Sasta Trika Batao Pregnency Rokne Ka?”
Doctor: “Condom Lo”
Santa: “Mahanga Hai”
Doctor: “Mala Di Lo”
Santa: “Ye Bhi Mahangi Hai”
Doctor: “Nasbandi Karwa Lo”
Santa: “Ye Bhi Kafi Mahangi Hai”

Doctor Gusse Se: “To Chodna Band Kar De Bhosdi Ke”

Santa: “Ye Tarika To Paanch Saal Se Try Kar Raha Hoon Phir Bhi Meri Biwi Pregnent Ho Jati Hai Sali“

Santa accident

Police: Jis scooty ne apko takkar mari uska rang aur no. kya tha ?
Santa - Mujhe yaad nahi, mera dhyan to road pe aur driving pe tha ...
Magar uss gaadi ko jo madam chala rahi thi unki shirt Ke 2 button
khule the,
LAL bra, boobs shaayed 36D size, gale ka locket left boob ko touch kar raha tha aur right boob par til tha.
Baki mera dhyan toh driving par tha.

M

All the Major things a women needs in her lifetime starts with the letter "M" Man, Money,Mom, Mercedes,MASTI, MAGIC MOMENTS, N Last bt not d least MAIDS .

Puzzle

What's the difference between a knife and a women's argument? ... A knife has a point

---//--///
Amazing puzzle

Pooja is 21 years older than her son Raju. In 6 years from now, Pooja will be 5 times as old as Raju.

Question : Where is Pooja's husband?
(There is a mathematical solution for this. Try it before scrolling down)


Solution :

Pooja (MOM =M) is 21 years older than Raju (Child = C).
M = C + 21

In 6 years from now, Mom will be 5 times as old as her Child.

M + 6 = ( C + 6 ) x 5
C + 21 + 6 = ( C + 6) x 5
C + 27 = 5C + 30
-3 = 4C
C = -3/4

The child is -3/4 years old, that is, -9 months
Child will be born in 9 months
So, right now, Pooja's Husband is..


ON TOP OF HER 

Poor rosemary

Rosemary Divorced Mr.Lele.
B’coz She Was Sick Of Telling Her Name, Roz Meri Lele,
Imagine Her Tough Luck, She Was Re-Married To Mr. Marlow.

English teacher

English teacher:
aaj sabko 'My Best Friend' par 10 line likhni hai,
thodi der baad 1 studnt ne uthkar puchha,"madam bhosdiwale ko english me kya kahte hain?

Happy wife's day

Today is HAPPY WIFE DAY.
Always Love Wife,
No Life Without Wife,
Remain Loyal & Faithful to Wife.
Keep Wife Happy & Satisfied.
Never Mind WHOSE WIFE..)

Multibagger

Santa: Do you know how does a girl looks like when she wears seat belt in a car?

Banta: Like Percentage symbol. %


--//---//-----/-/
Santa went with his wife on honeymoon and they were getting undressed together for the first time. Santa took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored.

"What happened to your feet?" his wife asked.

"I had a childhood disease called Tolio."

"Don't you mean polio?"

"No, tolio, it only affects the toes."

Santa then removed his pants and revealed an awful-looking pair of knees.

"What happened to your knees?" she asked.

"Well, I also had Kneesles."

"Don't you mean measles?"

"No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."

When he removed his shorts, his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me, you also had Smallcox!"


----///-/--///--------
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said,
'About 2 hours.'The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy....
'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said,
'About 3 hours.'The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked,
'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said,
'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said,
'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.
'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,
'Your house!'...

Gairkanuni

Ek Pathan Road Pe Susu Kar Raha Tha, Police Ne Use Pakda Or Bola
Policewala: “Ye Gair Kanuni Hai.”


Pathan Hairani Se: “Ye Kya Bolti Tum? Gair Ka Nuni? Ye Bachpan Se Humara Apna Nuni Hai“

Santa special

Santa-Ye naya mobile kab liya?
Banta-liya nai,gf ka uthaya hai
S-kyu?
B-Wo roz mattha kharaab karti thi aur kehti k tum mera Fone nahi uthate. Maine bhi aaj mauka dekh K utha liya
Sardar in a Romantic mood asked wife- Are you free tonight..?

Sardarni ne ek POWERful thappad mara aur boli-Free ke bachhe...tere se Kabhi paise liye hai kya.

Multibagger

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender. " So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please. " The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me? " replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink. "
A man goes to the doctor  and says, "Doc, you have to help me!"

The doctor asks, "What's your problem?"

The guy says, "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole'...give the wife a quick one, and then go to work. 
On the way to work, I carpool with the next door neighbor's wife who gives me a blow job during the ride to work. 
Once I get there, I do some work and then at morning tea time, i go into the photocopy room and crank one out with one of the young office girls. 
At lunch, I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good boning. 
For afternoon tea, I give the boss's wife a good servicing. 

Then, I go home and slip the maid a few inches.

Then at night, I give the wife another screw..." 


"So...????" asked the doctor. "What's your problem???"

The guy says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate!"
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden."
Simplicity of Osho
A man to Osho: do U
know what boys & girls
R Doing in Ur Ashram?
Osho: Mere ko kya?
Man: Lekin ye to Aapka
Ashram hai.
Osho: Fir Tere ko kya?
Simplicity of Osho
A man to Osho: do U
know what boys & girls
R Doing in Ur Ashram?
Osho: Mere ko kya?
Man: Lekin ye to Aapka
Ashram hai.
Osho: Fir Tere ko kya?
:):xDaaru pee ke full tight sardarji raat ko achaanak neend me rone lagaa.
"Mera....Kho Gaya ?
Mera.Kho Gaya ?"
Wife:- "chup chap so Jao,
Aur Meri chaddi Me se Hath nikalo."
:D:p

Diesel costly

Poor man to Rahul Gandhi : Sir, Diesel is very costly.
Rahul Gandhi : Big deal !!! Wear Benetton or Tommy Hilfiger instead."=D

Amul

What's common between
"AMUL"
&
"WOMAN"...???




Awesome Ans.:
Both are utterly butterly delicious.
But
one on bread and other on bed.....!!

Driver

India is a place where... Anyone driving faster than you is "Saala Bhosdika marega" . Anyone driving slower than you is " Saala chutiya garden mein chala raha hai" !! And anyone Driving Parallel to you is - "Behnchod Baap se Race Laga Raha hai" !

Beer vs women

Beer Vs Woman:
A Beer is always wet, a woman is not..1 point for beer! 

Beer is horrible, when it is hot..1 point for women!

A cold beer satisfies you..1 point for beer!

For a beer, you pay taxes..1 point for women!

If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry..1 point for beer!

You can always be sure that, you are the first one Opening a beer..1 point for beer!

If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself..1 point for beer!

You know exactly how much a beer costs..1 point for beer!

A beer does not have a mother..1 point for beer! 

A Beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after having it..1 point for beer! 

So the Score is...
Beer beats women
8 to 2

If you're a guy, enjoy this message.. If you are a woman reading this and getting angry, know that a beer would never get angry..
So FINAL SCORE : 9 to 2. 

Political sex

Political Sex

A husband and wife are campaigning for a friend who is contesting the local elections. They both become so busy that they do not think of anything else but about the elections -- so much so that they communicate about everything in political language.

One night the husband wants to have sex desperately, but seeing the wife busy doing some work, goes to her and says, "I would like to put my candidate in your legislature."

The wife, not realizing this was meant for something else, without raising her head says, "Our party is not going to accept this."

The husband is disappointed but he goes to sleep.

After some time the wife realizes what the husband meant, so she wakes him up and tells him, "Darling, now you can put your candidate in my legislature."

The husband replied, "Sorry, I cannot do that. My candidate stood independent and lost his deposit!"

Santa aur uski biwi

Santa Ki Nayi Nayi Shaadi Hone Ke Baad Santa Suhagraat Ke Din Jate Hi So Gaya,
Phir Dusre Din Bhi Aisa Hi Hua Aur Aisa Har Roz Hone Laga Santa Jata Aur So Jata,
Santa Ki Biwi Pareshan Ho Kar Santa Ki Maa Ke Paas Jakar Boli
Patni: “Apka Beta To Mere Sath Kuch Karta Hi Nahi Hai Majboor Ho Kar Mujhe Apko Ye Baat Batani Pad Rahi Hai”
Saas: “Tum Aaj Raat Ek Kaam Karna Apna Ek Boobs Khol Kar Let Jana”
Santa Ki Biwi Yahi Karti Hai, Santa Raat Mein Aata Hai Or Dekhte Hi Kehta Hai,
Santa: “Aray, Itna Bada Foda, Kal Jakar Is Mein Cheera Zarur Lagwa Lena”
Santa Ki Biwi Fir Santa Ki Maa Ke Pass jati Hai.
Patni: “Aapka Beta To Mere Boobs Ko Dekh Kar Ise Foda Keh Raha Hai”
Saas: “Tum Ab Ek Kaam Karna Apne Dono Boobs Khol Kar Let Jana”
Santa Raat Mein Aata Hai Or Apni Biwi Ke Boobs Dekh Kar Kehta Hai
Santa: “Aray, Kal Tak To Ek Hi Foda Tha Aaj Do-Do Ho Gaye, Kal Ja Kar Is Mein Cheera Pakka Lagwa Hi Lena”
Biwi Fir Saas Ke Paas Jakar Rone Lagi.
Saas: “Tum Ab Ek Kaam Karna Poori Nangi Hi Let Jana”
Santa Ki Biwi Yahi Karti Hai, Santa Raat Mein Aata Hai Aur Uski CHut Ko Dekh Kar Apna Matha Thok Kar Kehta Hai
Santa: “Ye Kis Maderchod Doctor Ke Paas Chali Gayi Thi Fode Kaha Hai Aur Doctor Ne Cheera Kaha Laga Diya“

Chemist

Boys to a Chemist- "give me a Condom,iam going to my Girlfriends house for dinner....Then he says "give me two more" My Gfs sis is a bomb n her mom is still hot ! During dinner her Dad walks in, boy lowers his head n starts Praying #:-s. 10 mins n he is still praying, The girl asks him never knew u were u Religious ..Boy - I never knew your Dad is a Chemist

Lic policy

Dosto Kya Kisi Ko Pata Hai Ki LIC Ki Ek Aur Policy Bhi Hai

Jeevan Sambhog In Partnership With Kamsutra Condoms & I-Pill.


The New Punch Line Is

Thokne Ke Sath Bhi, Thokne K Baad Bhi

Chutyia moments

Strictly for boyzz..

A swt line aftr a huge fight.
"chal lavde ab 1 cigarette to pila".

*A swt line 4 a frnd wen scolded 4m teacher.
'Chhod na yar ye sali chinal pagal hai. Apne piche hi padi rhti hAi'

*A swt line wen a group member is absent
'bhadva kahi mara raha hoga'

*A swt line wen sum of our frnd got dumped.
'chodna sali rand thi'

*A swt line wen we wer blank at exams.
'Sale kitni sheet bharega. Mjhe bhi toh bata bhosdike.'

*A swt line wen The whole grup got punishd.
'Sab teri wajah se hua Bhosadike'.

**And the swtst line wen al seprate..
'Jaa bhadve gand mara hum toh chote log hai na tum bade log hamse baat thodi karoge.'

Send dis 2 all ur frnz n mak dem smile reminding such CHUTIYA moments.

----////----///-


8-)Sardar living in New Jersey :
"When I was a child, homosexuality was a CRIME
As I grew, it was ACEPTABLE
Now its LEGAL
I better leave this Country before its COMPULSORY " ! ? :D
apologies to all... my messages were to be forwarded to another group. oversight is regretted

Hawai fire

SEX....
Ek ARMY ka 'jawan' sardar apni_suhag rat_me_muth_marne laga,

Wife: ye kya kar rhe hO??

jawan: hamley_sE pahle hawa me firing karna humara style Hai...

Jail mein qaidi

Banta on honeymoon nite: Jannu, itna kyun ghabra rahi ho?
Preeto: Mujhe sex ke bare mein kuch bhi nahi pata
Banta: Arre, to isme sharmane ki kya baat hai
(He points at his dick) Isko kehte hain qaidi
(Then he points at her pussy) and isko kehte hain Jail
jab qaidi jail mein jaata hai, toh usse sex kehte hain
Preeto: Itna aasan?
To phir chaalu karein?
They have passionate sex and Banta rests
Preeto nudges him again and says: Suno, jail khuli hai aur qaidi bahar hai
Banta gets on her again and they make
out
After 10 mins Preeto nudges him again and says: Jail khuli hai, Qaidi ko daalo na
Banta thodi himmat jutata hai and makes out again
As he lies exhausted
Preeto says: Jail khali padi hai
Qaidi ko bhejo na
Banta: Bhenchod, koi UMAR QAID thodi mili hai..=))

Iraq war

A soldier ran up to a Nun. Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt I'll explain later."

The nun accepted his request.

A moment later, two Military Police ran up and asked: "Sister have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied: "He went that way."

After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. I hope you will understand, "I don't want to go to Iraq."

The nun said: "I understand completely".

The soldier added: "I hope I am not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Iraq either."

Condom pack

Santa ko Shaadi me 100 condoms ka gift pack mila.
Suhagrat me biwi ne aawaz lagai-"AB JALDI KARO JI"

Santa-Bas 2 minute 97 chada liye hai, sirf 3 Baaki hai.

Personal computer

A secretary complained about her boss.....

She said, "My boss is so sex-crazed". Every time he comes into the office,
I must do the LAPTOP position and then the DESKTOP position,
followed by the SPREADSHEET format.

I must LOAD UP his SOFT DISK into a HARD DISK, so that he can INSERT in my C DRIVE and then the A DRIVE,
which is most uncomfortable.
Then he'll ask me to EJECT his SOFTWARE outside my C DRIVE so that he is VIRUS FREE.

Then he changes his mind and decides to ENTER, ENTER, ENTER the whole day till he is in MICROSOFT stage.

Once I tried to ESC but he caught me and shifted me to his HOME
where he started pressing @ BACKSPACE, and saying "TURNOVER today"...

Many a times he works without CAPLOCKS (without "CAP" or HELMET )
and sometimes as an ALTERNATIVE he CRASHES my SYSTEM until he looses his CTRL and he LOGS IN....

This process continues until I ZIP him and SHUTDOWN his main SYSTEM....

Lund means

what is the meaning of LUND? Ek DANDA, jiske Niche 2 Anda Shikar karne ke baad hi hota hai THANDA yehi to hai Pursho ka JHANDA

Public place

Sardar 1 Randi Ki Chudai Kar Raha Tha Chudai Karte Waqt Usne Randi Ki ***** Me Moot Diya Randi Ne 1 Thappad Usko Rasid Diya Sardar : Kyo Mara? Randi: Behanchod,Public Place Me Peshaab Karta Hai

Uf sms

What's SMS.
S : SARA
M : MUFT DA
S : SYAPA
Je Naa Karo Ta Kanjus, Je Karo Ta Vehle, Je Bhej Do Ta Purane Si, Je Na Bhejo Ta
Tusi Wade Log Ho Ji..
Cheers. .

Condom please

Ek shyar Medical shop pe:Ek Gilaf-E-Auzare-maza-e-mohabbat-Bandish-e-Nasal do.
Shopkeeper:Kya?
Pas khari aurat boli:Condom de kanjar ko.

Indian rocks

One day a indian call to a pakistani nd ask – rod h kya ?
Pakistani – ha..hain
indian – to gaand m daal le.

Next day again indian call to pakistani nd ask – rod h kya ?
Pakistani – nhi..hain
indian – q gaand m daal li.

Next day again indian call to pakistani nd ask – rod h kya ?
Pakistani – hain b or nhi b…
indian – q andar bahar krne m mazza aa rha h.

Pakistani presaan ho gya or next day pakistani ne indian ko call kiya or pucha – rod h kya ?
Indian – q..gaand m daalni h.

Pakistani shocks
indian alwz rocks

Scholars now have finally concluded that Raavan was not evil. Someone who takes your wife away can only be an angel sent by God...:-)

--//--/

IF Govt limits the SMS because its being misused for spreading rumors , Can We stop paying taxes as our money is being misused for Corruption ?


----__
Boy: Abba ke office me Roz NAMAZ hoti h.

Ammy: Ye to achhi baat hai.

Boy: Lekin Abba ki Awaaz nahi Aati. Sirf unki secretary "Ya ALLAH Ya ALLAH kehti h"..!

Hand wash

Zindagi Mein Do Cheeze Samaj Nahi Aayi Aaj Tak:

Pehli: “Ladkiyon Ki Jeans Mein Zip Ka Kya Kaam Hai?”

Doosri: “Jab Unke Paas Kuch Pakadne Ke Liye Hai Hi Nahi To Wo Bathroom Jane Ke Baad Hath Kyo Dhoti

Sunburn

A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burnin his penis. His doctor tells him 2 ease the pain by dippin it in a cup of cold milk. Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home n finds him with his penis in a cup of cold milk. Good heavens, she remarks. I always wondered how u guys re-loaded those things!

Jaago

A drunk guy fell asleep during SEX with Prostitute..
Just imagine what did the prostitute say ? ? ?

" JAAGO GRAHAK JAAGO "😜