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Friday, July 22, 2016

पत्नी :- एक गेम खेलते हैं,😃😃
पति :- कौन सा गेम ???😎😎
पत्नी :- अगर मैं कलर (COLOUR)
का नाम लूँ तो तुम लेफ्ट दीवार को
हाथ लगाना और फल (FRUIT)का
नाम लूँ तो राईट दीवार को हाथ लगाना
पति :- अगर मैं जीत गया तो ???
पत्नी :- जो हारेगा वो जीतने वाले की हर
बात मानेगा और वो भी जिंदगी भर !
पति :- ये गेम तो मैं जीतूंगा चलो खेलते हैं !
पत्नी :- तो ठीक है रेडी स्टेडी गो..ऑरेंज
(ORANGE ),,,,,,,,,,
पति 15 दिन से सोच में पड़ा हुआ है कि ये कलर बोली या फ्रूट ??😔😔😔
बीवी से कभी पंगा नही लेने का
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Brand New on Rajni... KABALI!
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Rajnikanth was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!
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Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
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Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass
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Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!
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The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!
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Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
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Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!
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Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
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Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside" 
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When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
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Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!! 
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The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
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An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala! 
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Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages! 
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Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

A person died after hearing the price of Tur daal.
Dr. issued death certificate that read... Cause of death.."HIGH PULSE RATE" 
😂😂

Monday, July 18, 2016

लडके के पिता लड़की देखने गये! उन्होने लड़की के पिता से पूछा: लड़की क्या करती हे ?

लड़की के पिता  :सी ए हे !

उन्होने पूछा लड़की का भाई क्या करता हे ?

लड़की का पिता :वो भी सी ए हे !

लड़के का पिता :उसकी माता जी क्या करती हे ?
लड़की का पिता: वो भी सी ए हे !

लड़के का पिता :"अरे वाह ! सब सी ए, तब तो आप भी सी ए ही होगे !!"


लड़की का पिता: ना ,ना !  मे तो घाघरा चोली काटु हूँ ...
ये सब सीये हे  !!!
😄😄😄😄😄😄

Friday, July 8, 2016

*After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.*

*When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"*

*The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."*

*Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That cant be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family &, you've got to send me back straight away."*

*St Peter replied " Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."*

*Brian was devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.*

*This isnt so bad he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.*

*The farmyard rooster strolled over and said " So you are the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here? "*

*"Its not so bad" replies Brian " but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."*

 *"Youre ovulating" explained the rooster, "dont tell me youve never laid an egg before."*

*"Never" replies Brian.*

*"Well just relax and let it happen."*

*And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.*

*An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.*

*When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him & ever!!!*

*The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shoutin...*                             😾🗣🗣😾🗣😾

*"Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting in the bed."*
💩💩💩💩
गली से एक भिखारी गुज़र रहा था,
 एक घर का दरवाज़ा खुला था और अंदर एक बुढ़िया बैठी थी। उसे देख भिखारी बोला,
 "खाने के लिए रोटी दे दो, अम्मा।
"बुढ़िया: रोटी तो अभी बनी नहीं है, बाद में आना।
भिखारी: ठीक है ये लो मेरा मोबाइल नंबर जब बन जाये तो मिस कॉल मार देना।
ये सुन बुढ़िया के होश उड़ गए पर वो कहाँ कम थी बोली, 
"मिस कॉल क्या करनी, जब बन जाएगी तो WhatsApp पे डाल दूंगी। वहीँ से डाउनलोड करके खा लेना।"ये सुनकर भिखारी बेहोश हो गयI
😄❗😍❗😉❗
NY-Mumbai अमेरिकन एयरलाइन्स की फ़्लाइट मैं एक  महिला अपने बच्चे को टॉयलेट मैं बैठा कर उससे बोली:
"मैं पाँच मिनट मैं  आयी "

पर बालक दो मिनट मैं ही बहार निकल कर उसकी माँ से विपरीत दिशा मैं चला गया .

इस बीच संता टॉयलेट मैं घुस के दरवाज़ा बंद कर दिया..

पाँच मिनट बाद महिला ने दरवाज़ा खटखटाया और कहा:
"हो गया हो तो धुलवाके पैंट पहना दूँ", 

दरवाज़े के पीछे संता आश्चर्य चकित हो कर बोले:
"ओ तेरी....इसको कहते है 
SERVICE…!!!!!!!!."
😂😂😁😁😛😛

Thursday, July 7, 2016

NY-Mumbai अमेरिकन एयरलाइन्स की फ़्लाइट मैं एक  महिला अपने बच्चे को टॉयलेट मैं बैठा कर उससे बोली:
"मैं पाँच मिनट मैं  आयी "

पर बालक दो मिनट मैं ही बहार निकल कर उसकी माँ से विपरीत दिशा मैं चला गया .

इस बीच संता टॉयलेट मैं घुस के दरवाज़ा बंद कर दिया..

पाँच मिनट बाद महिला ने दरवाज़ा खटखटाया और कहा:
"हो गया हो तो धुलवाके पैंट पहना दूँ", 

दरवाज़े के पीछे संता आश्चर्य चकित हो कर बोले:
"ओ तेरी....इसको कहते है 
SERVICE…!!!!!!!!."
😂😂😁😁😛😛

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

एक बार जाट कार में बैट्री लगवाने
गया…
कारीगर ने जाट  से पूछा एक्साइड
की लगा दूँ…
जाट  काफी देर सोचने के बाद…!
यार बार बार कौन आएगा तू दोनों साईड की
लगा दे…😄😄
😜😜😝😝😂😂

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Eid Mubarak. May Allah blessings be with you today, tomorrow, and always

Monday, July 4, 2016

Banta's updating his Diary:

Girlfriend di shaadi da card miliya ajj😪

Bohot bura lagga. . 
.
.
Fir sochya ki main jaawaanga jarur,

Pyaar💔 apni jagah haiga... 

BUTTER CHICKEN apni jagah 😂😂.