Joke

1st frnd: Main aisa kya karun k teri
shadi k baad mai teri bv ko cinema le kar
jaun or tu naraz bhi na ho..
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2nd frnd: Meri shaadi apni behan sa
karwa dey...:p
Girl: Do u love me more then ur family?
Boy: No.
Girl: Y?
Boy: Ok, listen to this,
"When i started to walk, I fell, u were not there to pick me up. But my mom was..
When i went outside, u were not there to hold my finger but my dad was..
When i cried, u didn't give me ur toys to play but my brother n sister did..
My family is more precious than anything else.." :)
GIRL: awwwwww, so cute!, But wen u felt Horny, ur Family was not there to give u a Blowjob, bastard..:> B-)
A doctor advised a man that masturbating about 3 hours before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the toilet, but that was too open to everyone in the office. He considered the corridor, but figured that was even worse.
Finally,he realized his solution. On the way home from work, he pulled his Land Rover over on the side off the highway. He got out and crawled underneath, as if examining the vehicle. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate vigorously. He closed his eyes and thought of his chick. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick pull on his right leg. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy and the orgasm, he kept his eyes tightly shut and asked "What?"
A reply came, "This is the police. What in hell do you think you are you doing?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle on my Land Rover, it's broken."
The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too, because your Land
Rover rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago...''X_X
The BENEFITS of SEX.

Did you know that we can determine if a person is sexually active just by looking at his/her skin?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that when a woman has sex she produces large amounts of estrogen which makes her hair shiny & soft.

2. To make love in a soft & relaxed way reduces the possibility of suffering from dermatitis & acne. The sweat produced cleans pores & makes the skin shine.

3. To make love always allows you burn all the calories accumulated daily.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports. It strengthens & tones all the body muscles. Its more enjoyable than doing 20 laps in the swimming pool & you don't need special shoes!

5. Sex is an instantaneous cure against depression & stress. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria & leaves us with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more we make love, the more we have the capacity to do more. A sexually active body releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite sex !

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. ITS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM.

8. To kiss everyday allows you to avoid the dentist. Kissing produces saliva in cleaning teeth & lowers the quantity of acids causing enamel weakening.

9. Sex relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in our brain veins.

10. To make love a lot can heal a nasal congestion. Sex is a natural antihistaminic. It helps fight asthma & spring allergies
Santa Ne 1st Year Ka Exam Diya or Usko Jail Ho Gayi..!

Q..?

Paper Me Swal Tha k Gandhiji Kab Paida Hue?

Santa Ne Jwab Likha:
Jab Unki Maa Chudi . .
Widow2 her boyfriend:
No sex plz,
I'm still mourning my hubby's death.
BF:I've worn a black condom,
so open ur legs
& let me offer my DEEP Condolence!