Thailand has d highest no. of prostitutes..๐ธ
what else can u expect when a country"s name is THIGH LAND,
capital is BANG COCK
&
tourist spot is called
FUK ET!! ๐๐๐
Gay with heavy makeup standing on the roadside in late evng.
A man stops his car & asked : R U a Prostitute?
Gay chewing his lips: Na re.. "Substitute"๐ฒ
At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. ร Sister
Catherine, the teacher,
asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.
The first pupil said: 'Tylenol?'
'Very good! And what is it used for?'
'It is used for a headache.'
The second pupil said: 'Nytol.'
'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine. 'And what it is used for?'
'To help you sleep', replied the student.
Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.'
'And what is it used for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister catherine.
'It is used for diarrhoea.'
'And who told you this, Johnny?'
'Nobody,
but most evenings my mother tells my father
"Take a viagra, and maybe that shit will get harder.''
Sister Catherine fainted. Class Dismissed.
Lady: Excuse me, why this Tiny Handbag ๐Costs so much? Shopkeeper: Its made of Penis skin.
Lady: "Woow"
She Slowly Touches the Bag,
it turned into a Suitcase.
Wife๐ฉ: khane main kya banau?๐ด
Huband๐จ: kuch bhi bana lo..kya banaogi?๐ด
Wife๐ฉ: jo aap kaho
Husband๐จ: dal chawal bana lo๐ฒ
Wife๐ฉ: subah hi toh khaye the
Husband๐จ: toh roti sabzi bana lo๐ต
Wife๐ฉ: bachche nahi khayenge
Husband๐จ: toh chhole puri bana lo๐ฑ
Wife๐ฉ: mujhe fried cheezon se heavy lagta hai
Husband๐จ: egg bhurji bana lo๐ณ
Wife๐ฉ: aaj thursday hai
Husband๐จ: paranthe? Wife๐ฉ: raat ko paranthe nahi khana chahiye๐
Husband๐จ: hotel se mangwa lete hain๐ฑ
Wife๐ฉ: roz roz bahar ka nahi khana chahiye
Husband๐จ: kadhi chawal?๐
Wife๐ฉ: dahi nahi hai
Husband๐จ: idly sambhar? ๐
Wife๐ฉ: time lagega...pehle bolna tha na!!๐ก
Husband๐จ: ek kaam karo maggi bana lo๐
Wife๐ฉ: pet nahi bharta maggi se๐๐
Husband๐จ: pasta?๐ฒ
Wife๐ฉ: loose motions ho ge to??
Husband๐จ: bhindi bhujia n roti๐ณ
Wife๐ฉ: bhindi kaatne me ✂tym lgta h๐ฅ
Husband๐จ: fruit salad ๐๐๐๐๐hi kha lete h๐,
Wife๐ฉ: raat me fir se bhukh lg gi to??
Husband๐จ: baked veg...???๐ถ
Wife๐ฉ: microwave kharab
pada h...
Husband๐จ:khichdi hi bana do"!"!!๐ฐ
Wife๐ฉ: cooker dhula ni h.
Husband: toh phir kya banaogi?๐ฏ
Wife๐ฉ: jo aap bolo๐
--/----
One of the best jokes to come along and it's not even political!
As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change
to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on
towards the Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is so atrocious that both the passengers in the carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but, the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen politely turns to President Obama: "Mr President, please, accept my regrets...I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," responded:
"Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought...Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."
Moral of the story: "Silence is Golden"๐๐ ©
-----111
Police ne 2 ladkon aur ek ladki ko park mein pakda. Police: Tumhara naam kya hai ?aur Park mein kya kar rahe they ?? 1st boy: Mera naam Kishan hai aur mai baansuri baja raha tha. Police: Achha tum jao. Tumhara naam kya hai.......?? 2nd boy: Mera naam Kanhaiya hai aur mai baansuri baja raha tha. Police: Achha tum bhi jao. Police to girl: Aur tum bhi baansuri baja rahi hogi. Girl: Nahin Sir, mera hi naam Baansuri hai !