Thursday, June 27, 2013

Multibagger

Thailand has d highest no. of prostitutes..👸
what else can u expect when a country"s name is THIGH LAND, 
capital is BANG COCK 
&
tourist spot is called 
FUK ET!!  😂😂😂
Gay with heavy makeup standing on the roadside in late evng.
A man stops his car & asked : R U a Prostitute?
Gay chewing his lips: Na re.. "Substitute"😲
At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Â Sister
Catherine, the teacher,
asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

The first pupil said: 'Tylenol?'
'Very good! And what is it used for?'
'It is used for a headache.'

The second pupil said: 'Nytol.'
'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine. 'And what it is used for?'
'To help you sleep', replied the student.

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.'
'And what is it used for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister catherine.
'It is used for diarrhoea.'

'And who told you this, Johnny?'

'Nobody,
but most evenings my mother tells my father
"Take a viagra, and maybe that shit will get harder.''

Sister Catherine fainted. Class Dismissed.
Lady: Excuse me, why this Tiny Handbag 👜Costs so much? Shopkeeper: Its made of Penis skin.
Lady: "Woow" 
She Slowly Touches the Bag, 
it turned into a Suitcase.
Wife👩: khane main kya banau?🍴
Huband👨: kuch bhi bana lo..kya banaogi?🍴
Wife👩: jo aap kaho
Husband👨: dal chawal bana lo🍲
Wife👩: subah hi toh khaye the
Husband👨: toh roti sabzi bana lo🍵
 Wife👩: bachche nahi khayenge
Husband👨: toh chhole puri bana lo🍱
Wife👩: mujhe fried cheezon se heavy lagta hai
Husband👨: egg bhurji bana lo🍳
Wife👩: aaj thursday hai
Husband👨: paranthe? Wife👩: raat ko paranthe nahi khana chahiye🍘
Husband👨: hotel se mangwa lete hain🍱
Wife👩: roz roz bahar ka nahi khana chahiye
Husband👨: kadhi chawal?🍚
Wife👩: dahi nahi hai
Husband👨: idly sambhar? 🍛
Wife👩: time lagega...pehle bolna tha na!!😡
Husband👨: ek kaam karo maggi bana lo🍝
Wife👩: pet nahi bharta maggi se🍝😏
Husband👨: pasta?🍲
Wife👩: loose motions ho ge to??
Husband👨: bhindi bhujia n roti😳
Wife👩: bhindi kaatne me ✂tym lgta h😥
Husband👨: fruit salad 🍉🍒🍓🍏🍊hi kha lete h😖,
Wife👩: raat me fir se bhukh lg gi to??
Husband👨: baked veg...???😶
Wife👩: microwave kharab
 pada h...
Husband👨:khichdi hi bana do"!"!!😰
Wife👩: cooker dhula ni h.
Husband: toh phir kya banaogi?😯
Wife👩: jo aap bolo😝


--/----
One of the best jokes to come along and it's not even political!

As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change
to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on
towards the Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
 
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is so atrocious that both the passengers in the carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but, the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen politely turns to President Obama: "Mr President, please, accept my regrets...I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," responded:
"Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought...Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

Moral of the story: "Silence is Golden"😛😛 ©


-----111
Police ne 2 ladkon aur ek ladki ko park mein pakda. Police: Tumhara naam kya hai ?aur Park mein kya kar rahe they ?? 1st boy: Mera naam Kishan hai aur mai baansuri baja raha tha. Police: Achha tum jao. Tumhara naam kya hai.......?? 2nd boy: Mera naam Kanhaiya hai aur mai baansuri baja raha tha. Police: Achha tum bhi jao. Police to girl: Aur tum bhi baansuri baja rahi hogi. Girl: Nahin Sir, mera hi naam Baansuri hai !

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