Joke

Two C.A's getting married.
During marriage ceremony, wife vomits
Husband asks the reason?
Wife: Short term capital gain arising out of previous partnership..!
Jaha yad na aye wo tanhai kis kaam ki,
Bigre rishte na bne to khudai kis kaam ki,
Beshak apni manzil tk jana h,
Par jaha se apne na dikhe wo unchai kis kaam ki.
BIWI-aah uuh, thoda aur, thoda aage, thoda left, thoda sa Aur, bas Bas thoda sa right.
PATI-MadarChod chudwa rahi hai ya Lauda parking me lagwa rahi hai.
Santa saw a poster at a police station.


"2 Gujrati Men Wanted for Rape".

Santa "Fuck man ! These Gujratis always get the best Jobs.!"=))
Bedroom golf Rules. 1. Each player should furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on the course should be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to the well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume that a course is in shape for play at all
times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play
when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole ;)
Arab couple went to London.
One day in the hotel room,the husband heard his wife scream,

"Faar! Faar Faar!"(which is mouse in Arabic accent)
.
He wanted to inform Room Service but didn't knew what the English word for "faar" is

Husband: Hello,room service? :D

Room service: Yes sir,how can I help u?O:)

Husband: hmmmm, U know Tom & Jerry?:]Y
Room service: Yes, sir,I know Tom & Jerry:/

Husband: habibi Jerry is here=))
A Pastor rears chicken in the Church premises, so one evening a Cock went missing. In Church the next day the Pastor asked 'who has a cock?' All the men got up..' No, I mean who has seen a cock?' All the women got up, 'No, no, I meant who has seen a cock that isn't theirs?' Half of the women got up, 'Oh for goodness sake!! Who has seen my cock??' All the Choir girls got up. =D =))
JEEWAN KE 8 SATYA:
1. Girl friend aur car dusre ko doge to thuk kar hi vapas aayegi.
2. Chut & daru kabhi jhuti nahi hoti.
3. Nayi chut aur bhoot kismat walo ko hi dikhte hain.
4. Ladki or audio cassete ko dono side se bajana chahiye.
5. Gaand or saanp janha mile maar do.
6. Land or paani apna rasta khud bana lete hain.
7. Gand or dudh ke fatne ki aawaz nahi hoti.
8. Sex or tax dono aadmi ko pagal kar dete hain.
Pathaan bhi ajeeb
kaum hei dosto . . .

Gusse me bole to
darr lagta hei -
KAHIN MAAR NA DE

Pyaar se bole to
darr lagta hei -
KAHIN MAAR NA LE
A nun in the bath - knock at the door , 'who is it ? " "its the blind man " . "come in " she says. " Nice tits "he says " where do u want the blind ?
Avoid rape- say yes
Success is like masturbation,only ur hand can let u achieve it
Education is like hiring a prostitute,it needs both money& hard work
Women need a reason to have sex,men just need a place
Fate is like getting raped,if u cant fight it,learn to enjoy it
Work is like gangbang,10people are behind ur ass to take ur place
Irony of a blowjob is that even if u have her at ur feet,she's got u by the balls
Make love not war as condoms are cheaper.
History of april 1st:
April 1 came 2 b called 'FOOLS DAY' after Steve April.
He was born on 1st april 1579.
He did 105 business in his lifetime.
He lost all his father's assets.
Every1 started calling him father of fools.
At the age of 19 he married a 61 years old woman.
She divorced him after 1 year coZ of his stupidity.
He used 2 hear and believe all kind of fake stories like u r reading now.

My pleasure
2 wish u
'APRIL FOOL.'