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Friday, March 23, 2012

Joke

Ek Mohabbat hi nahi hoti duniya mein dard ki wajah...

Gaalib..

Zip main fasi Lulli bhi Gaand faad deti hai..!!
Budha: Mai Tere Liye Chand Tare Tod Launga
Budhiya: Aap Bhi Na Gaanduo Jesi Baat Karte Ho
Danto Se Roti Tut-Ti Nahi Aur Gand Se Akhrot Fodne Ki Baat Karte Ho.
Boy: Mere Sath Sex Kar K Kaisa Laga ?

Girl: Chief Guest Jaisa.

Boy: Kaise ?

Girl: Tum Jaldi Me Aaye Aur Function Khatm Hone Se Pehle Nikal Gaye !
Larkion K Chakar Me Mat Padna Dosto
Kyun ke????
Ye Ati Hain HEER Ki Tarha
Lagti Hain KHEER Ki Tarha
Chubhti Haini TEER Ki Tarha
Aur End Me
Halat Kar Deti Hain FAKEER Ki Tarha

Phir Ek Baar JANHIT ME JARI
FAUJI'S WIFE DAILY SENDS HER NUDE Photo With BOTH LEGS WIDE OPEN.
Jaanu I'LL WAIT LIKE dis TIL U CuM.
Fauji: ITS OK but Bhenchod ye Photo Khench kaun rha hai?:p
Ek Chor Pathan ke Ghar ghusa....Pathan ne use pakad kar saari raat uski mari......phir subah pucha: "Phir kab aaega?"
Chor: "Khan Saab, Chor hoon, chutia nahin."
Kaamvali bai ko ekdin condom mila.
Bai:Malkin,ye kya hai?
Malkin:Tere gaon me SEX nahi karte kya?
Bai:Karte hai,par itna nahi ki land ki KHAAL nikal de..!!:]xx
Hone Wali Bahu Ko Dekhne Gaye Sasur Ne Pucha: "Beti Chai Aati Hai?"
Ladki Boli: "Daddu Ji Mujhe Abhi Tak Doodh Nahi Ata. Chai Kya Ghanta Aayegi.
"
Crazy facts:

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee
(Hardly seems worth it.)3-|

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)(y)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!) :O

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)\=D/

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)X_X
(I'm still not over the pig.) :D

Banging your head against a wall looses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work) 8-|

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) =-?

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? >:/ )

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) ;)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.) 8-|

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm..) (n)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) /:)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.(Still want 2 b the pig) :p

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)*nerd*

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.(I know some people like that):p

Starfish have no brains(I know some people like that too.)8-|

Polar bears are left-handed.(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer):|

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??) :s

You've smiled at least once, so spread these crazy facts and send to someone you want to smile....pig lucky pig!!!!! X_X
??Wife to Doc-Mera Pati 300% Napunsak hai.
Dr-300% Kaise?
Wife-Ek to Khada nahi hota, Dusra Ungli tuti hui he,
Tisra kal Garam Daal kha ke apni jibh v jala li.!.!
??Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, 'You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I
sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!'
His buddy looks at him and says, 'Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, How about a blow job?'....and she's always sound asleep.'
A Couple visit an Art Gallery,
Husband keeps watching a Photo of a Girl covered by Leaves.
Wife ask him-"Abhi chale? ya
Hawa aane tk rukoge...:p ;)
Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge ?
Student: shaadi..!!!!!!
Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?.....
Student: dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
... Student: dulhan
Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
Student- bahu laaunga
Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?
Student: pota
Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: hum do humare do, jab tak teesra na ho......!!!!
Frinds are like gas in the ass.X_X
Some are loud,:O
some are silent,:|
some are thuuss,:>
some are phuss./:)
However whatever they maybe, they bring a lot of relief..!! 8-|:$:]Y:>3-|=))=))
Son: Papa, Circus dekhne chale?
Pa: I am busy...
Son: Usme ek ladki na bina kapdo ke sher pe sawari karti hai.
Pa: Bahut ziddi ho! Chalo bahut din hue Sher nahi dekha.=D
1st man: Tum Niche ke Baal kaise Saaf karte ho?
2nd: Razor se, aur tum??
1st: Zaroorat hi nahi,
Meri biwi Baatein hi aisi karti hai ki Jhaanthe Sulag jati hain.=D =))
Question: why did GOD create Husbands? Because Fingers, Candles, Vibrator, Banana, Kheera, Lokkie, Lamba Bangan, cannot pay for SHOPPING.
----------
2 lover in pizzahut

Ladka:kya logi?


Ladki



'jaanu kadhi chhawal mangwa lo'


Moral:govt. School ki ladkiya pataoge to aisa hi hoga.
Newly Married woman returns from Honeymoon.

Her friends:-'kahan-kahan ghum aai?'

She:-'Delhi, Agra, Jammu and Manali.'

Her friends:-'Hmm kya kya dekha?'

She:-'bajaj, orpat, anchor, orient PSPO ke ceiling fans'
1 scientist BRA bnana chahta tha
jisme runing karte hue grls k boobs na hile or bhigne par
nipple na dikhe..
Tension mat lo bhai goli mar di harami ko..:)
1 scientist BRA bnana chahta tha
jisme runing karte hue grls k boobs na hile or bhigne par
nipple na dikhe..
Tension mat lo bhai goli mar di harami ko..:)

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