Joke

New York
Sri Lanka
Biwi ne Kurti Utari,
SEXY Nazar se Santa ki Taraf Dekhte Huye SALWAR bhi Utar K Boli-Pata Hai na,
Kya Karna Hai?
Santa: Ghanta, Main RAAT ko KAPDE Nahi Dhounga! =))
There are just 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.

Before Marriage &
After Marriage =))
Muddat se thi unko Chodne ki aas magar!
Didar-e-Chut ko chaddi me daba diya!
Kisi ne di jab khabar unke chudne ki,,
itni mari mutth ki apna popat sujaa liya!::'( :D
A man's sad story:
Last thursday was my Birthday

My wife & kids didnt wish me

i went 2 work,my friends didnt wish me.

i entered my cabin

my P.A said happy birthday boss

i felt special

she asked me 4 lunch

after lunch she invited me 2her apartment

there she said do u mind if i go to my bedroom 4a min

ok i said nervously...

she came out few mins later wit a large cake folowed by my wife,kids,friends& i was sitting there
.
.
.
NAKED..!!
In exam hall a boy 2 girl:
"mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do, Baki main likh lunga.''

girl ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha, fir dhire se boli:
"The" :p :D
1 fauji jung se 3 yrs baad wapas aya aur khidki k paas udaas baith gaya.
Biwi ko sex ki ichha hui. Biwi dupatta gira k boli dekho hawa ne mera kya uda di ya.
Fauji chup.
Phir kurti nikali aur boli,dekho hawa ne mera kya uda diya..
Fauji fir chup..
phir salwar utari aur boli,dekho hawa ne mera kya uda diya.
Fauji ko gussa aya, pant utar kar bola "dekh bomb ne mera kya uda diya"
Biwi chup.. :>:O
A Sweet demand by a kid. A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son?
Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own. =))
Maths Teacher: 1 mein 2 Daale To kya Hota hai.?
Girl: miss- ye to aap ka hi hausla aur bada bhosada hai, warna humari to 1 se hi jaan nikal jati hai..!=D =))
Sardar Ka Juta Fat Gaya
Usne Mochi Ko Diya Or Kaha: Jute Ko Aisa Silna Or Chamkana K Shakal Nazar Aaye

Mochi Ne Jute Ko Sil Ke Usme Sheesha Fit Kar Diya
Sardar Khush

1 Din Uski Shop Pe 1 Ladki Aayi

Sardar Ne Joota Uske Legs K Neeche Kiya Or Bola

Aapne Blue Panty Pehni He

Ladki Hairan

Next Day Wo Red Panty Pehenkar Aayi

Usne Fir Bata Diya

3rd Day Wo Panty Pehen Ke Hi Nhi Aayi

Jaise Hi Sardar Ne Juta Aage Kiya To Bola
O Bhenchod Juta Fir Fat Gaya..!! =D =))
Girl: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill daadi dengi ;):D
4 kutte 1 kuttiya ko chodh rahe the. Ek AUNTY Paas se Nikli aur RO Padi.Tab ek Bacche ne Puchha 'KYA HUA'
Aunty: Kuchh Nahi Beta COLLEGE K DIN YAAD Aa GAYE =D =))
Boy & Grl Alone in a Car.

Grl: aaj main tumhe wo Jagah dikhaungi jaha mera tetanus ka injection laga tha.

Boy gets Xcited,

Grl: ye dekho

GUPTA HOSPITAL X_X =D
A girl gives an adverstiment in matrimonial.
"Wanted a man,
who will never beat me or kick me
&
who is wonderful in bed"
After few days
someone knocked her door,
she opens
& she find a man on wheelchair
without both
legs & arms.
Man-
"I am your prince,
whom you wanted,
I will not beat you or kick you as I dont have legs & arms"
Girl-
"Thats ok,
but are you good in bed?"
Man-
"Can you guess how I KNOCKED the door..?
BeAulad Aurat ko doctor Chod rha tha or doctor ki Gaand Aurat ka Pati maar raha tha..
1 ne pucha:Ye kya?
Dr-Check kr rha hu ki Kami Aurat me he ya Mard me =D =))
What is the difference between hungry & horny?

Superb answer by Rakhi Sawant:
It depends where I put the carrot...;)
Ye Tab Ki Baat Hai, Jab Pappu 5th Class Mein Thha.

Uski Class Ki Ek Teacher Pregnant Thhi, Usko Dekh Ke Ek Din Pappu Bola

Pappu: “Madam Aapko Beta Hone Wala Hai Ya Beti?”

Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Ye Baat Mujhe Kaisi Pata Hogi?”

Pappu: “Madam Mujhe Pata Hai Aapko Kya Hone Wala Hai, Aapko Ladka Hone Wala Hai”

Teacher Hairani Se: “Arey, Tujhe Ye Baat Kaisi Pata?”

Pappu: “Mam Vo Jab Aap Chair Pe Pair Utha Ke Beth Ti Ho To Ander Se Uski Mooche Dikhti Hai“ =))
A mallu woman went for a job interview for the post of a Secretary. The manager saw the womans colourful clothes, gold jewellery, extra coconut oiled uncombed hair, and his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN!!!"X_X Nevertheless, he had to interview her. So he told her, "If you make a sentence using all the words I give u, then maybe I'll give u a chance at the job! The words are: GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK ." The enthusiastic mallu, sat staring at the ceiling licking her lips thinking for a while. She then let out a dorky laugh and said "I hear the phone ring, GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW.... BLUE'S that?? Sorry WHITE did u say? Aiyo..... Wrong number!! Don't simbbly PURPLELY disturb ppl and don't call me BLACK next time wokay!!!OK... THANK YOU" The Manager fainted!!=D =))
Ek bar Sardar paise jama karne Bank gaya.
Oficer:Ye note fata hua hai dusra do
Sardar: Main apne Account me jama kar raha hu, fata ya Naya, Apko kya =D
Facts That Definitely Make You Feel Old –



1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge was released 17 years ago.

2. Windows XP was released 11 years ago, in 2001.

3. The “new” Millennium is more than a decade old.

4. Chetan Bhagat’s antics have been around for the past 8 years!

5. Pierce Brosnan last acted as James Bond 10 years ago.

6. The Delhi Metro has been running for 10 Years now.

7. It’s been 11 years since 9/11

8. The Matrix came out 13 years ago, Keanu Reeves is 47 today

9. Mother Theresa and Lady Diana have been dead for 15 years.

10. Remember Jungle Book on Doordarshan? That was more than 16 years ago.

11. Macaulay Culkin is 31 today. “Home Alone” came out over 21 years ago.

12. Terminator 2 is 21 years old. Edward Furlong who portrayed kid John Connor is 34 now.

13. Sean Connery is 80 years old and retired.

14. The youngest Spice Girl is 35, the oldest Backstreet Boy 39, Gwen Stefani is 41, Madonna 52

15. The first Harry Potter book came out 15 years ago!

16. The first season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S was aired 17 years ago!

17. Akshay Kumar was born in 1967!

18. Arnold Schwarzenegger is older than Independent India. He was born in June 1947

19. ‘Kids’ born in 1994 can legally drive, drink and vote this year.

20. Jurassic Park is older than Justin Bieber.

21. Rajiv Gandhi has been dead for 21 years.

22. Bryan Adams’ cult song “Summer of 69″ was released 27 years ago.

23. Kids whom you remember in their diapers are posting their pics on Facebook.

24. Facebook has been around for 8 years. Orkut for 10.
Fraandshipping since 2002

25. Remember the little girl from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? She is 24 now.

26. The Maruti Zen was first introduced 19 years ago....

Pls go dye ur hair now =)) X_X :'(
There are just 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.

Before Marriage &
After Marriage =))
Biwi ne Kurti Utari,
SEXY Nazar se Santa ki Taraf Dekhte Huye SALWAR bhi Utar K Boli-Pata Hai na,
Kya Karna Hai?
Santa: Ghanta, Main RAAT ko KAPDE Nahi Dhounga! =))
Muddat se thi unko Chodne ki aas magar!
Didar-e-Chut ko chaddi me daba diya!
Kisi ne di jab khabar unke chudne ki,,
itni mari mutth ki apna popat sujaa liya!::'( :D
1 fauji jung se 3 yrs baad wapas aya aur khidki k paas udaas baith gaya.
Biwi ko sex ki ichha hui. Biwi dupatta gira k boli dekho hawa ne mera kya uda di ya.
Fauji chup.
Phir kurti nikali aur boli,dekho hawa ne mera kya uda diya..
Fauji fir chup..
phir salwar utari aur boli,dekho hawa ne mera kya uda diya.
Fauji ko gussa aya, pant utar kar bola "dekh bomb ne mera kya uda diya"
Biwi chup.. :>:O