Joke

Aaj raat "Star Sex" par dekhiye:

7.00- Kasauti Udas Land Ki
7:30- Balika Chodu
8.00- Desh Me Nikli Hogi Rand
8:30- Kabhi Fudi Kabhi Gaand
9.00- Kahani Khade Lund Ki
9:30- Randi Teri Saas
10.00- Kyuki Lund Bhi Kabhi Nunnu Tha
10:30- Ek Mahal Ho Randiyo Ka
11.00- Land Ka Samna
11:30- Chudai-Ek Pyara Sa Bandhan
12.00- Aana Khujana.

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Old couple went 2 Delhi

Man got in2 mood & said

"Dear should we 1st go2 our room or Kutub minar?"

Wife: Room hi chalo,Kutub minar to kal bhi khada rahega.:( ;)

---------------------------------
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,

"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."

"Do you think it will work?" she asks.

"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.


After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".


"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".


"But that's impossible!" says the priest.


"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."


About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."


The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,


"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.". =D >=)

------------------------------

A married man died b4 sex.
wife cut his penis and fixed on wall.
Every nght she went to wall & satisfied hrself.
1 day neighbour saw this routine.
He made a hole in wall n removed it & put his penis & waited for her.
Lady came with knife,
cut d penis & said
DARLING V R SHIFTING OUR HOUSE. =D =)) X_X

--------------------------
Husband: Mom called me and said she is coming tomorrow. Her train will
reach by morning 4 o clock!!!
Wife: She came just 4 months back only right? Why is she
coming now again? Tomorrow is Sunday I thought of getting up late but your mom had to come on a Sunday itself and that too morning 4 o clock.
Where will she even get an auto at that time?
Husband : Not my mom, your mom is coming!!!
Wife: Wow!!! Mom is coming. It’s been more than 2 months I have seen her. Listen na, I have the number of the auto driver please
call him and tell to come in time tomorrow morning. Its good, tomorrow is
Sunday, even the kids will be at home as they don’t have school. They can play
with their grandmother.
YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT !:O ;)
A lot of men don't realise the true worth of their wives.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

until a judge decides the compensation!!! :D :D :) ;) :* :) :p
In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another:
"Your mom is so hot
I luv her.The whole bar was waitn 4 othr Guy's response.He laughs & says
"Lets go home dad,U r Drunk.;)
1 day Jane met Tarzan in da jungle. She was vry attracted 2 him nd, during her questions abt his life, she asked him how he managed for s*x. "What's dat?" he asked. She explained to him what s*x was, and he said, "Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, pointing, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "Why the hell did you do that?"
"Tarzan check for bees! :p :p
Husband: What's Hypnotism ?

Wife: Taking Control
Over Someone & Making Him Perform As Per Your Wish...
Husband: Nonsense !!!
That's Marriage...Not Hypnotism;)
James Bond showing his new Watch to a sexy babe.

Bond: My watch says u r not wearing Panties.

Babe: But I am

Bond: My watch is 10 min ahead..! ;) :D
U loose 90 calories after a 30 minute Walk..
AND
U loose 160 calories after 3 minutes of Sex...

Jeevan aapka...
Faisla Aapka...

WALKING ya...??;)
Hansa: praful, ye Senior or Junior matlab?
Praful: hansaaa.., samundra k najdik rehte wo seniors (sea+near)
& jo Zoo k najdik rehte wo Juniors
(Zoo+near)....:p
Bahu, bura mat manana, lekin mere pote ki shakal mere bete se nahi milti."

Bahu: "Maa ji, meri taangon ke beech choot lagi hai, photocopy machine nahi."
3 Dreams of a Man:


*To be as Handsome as his Mother thinks.

*To be as Rich as his Kids believe.

&

*To have as many WOMEN as his Wife suspects..!!
​Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.
Good nitey guyzzzz
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,

"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."

"Do you think it will work?" she asks.

"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.


After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".


"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".


"But that's impossible!" says the priest.


"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."


About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."


The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,


"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.". =D >=)
Aaj raat "Star Sex" par dekhiye:

7.00- Kasauti Udas Land Ki
7:30- Balika Chodu
8.00- Desh Me Nikli Hogi Rand
8:30- Kabhi Fudi Kabhi Gaand
9.00- Kahani Khade Lund Ki
9:30- Randi Teri Saas
10.00- Kyuki Lund Bhi Kabhi Nunnu Tha
10:30- Ek Mahal Ho Randiyo Ka
11.00- Land Ka Samna
11:30- Chudai-Ek Pyara Sa Bandhan
12.00- Aana Khujana.
A married man died b4 sex.
wife cut his penis and fixed on wall.
Every nght she went to wall & satisfied hrself.
1 day neighbour saw this routine.
He made a hole in wall n removed it & put his penis & waited for her.
Lady came with knife,
cut d penis & said
DARLING V R SHIFTING OUR HOUSE. =D =)) X_X